To try to be as brief as possible-
* We have three beautiful children.
* We had a divorce in 2013.
* I was forced to leave the family home due to his family owning it and receiving written 4 weeks notice.
* I was forced to verbally agree to 50/50 "shared care" due to not knowing my rights or options, and due to me thinking he had all the power and being terrified of him.
* I moved 40kms away - into a one bedroom unit. Our children were with me 90% of the time due to his "depression". I travelled 2 hours in the morning and evening on public transport each weekday to take them to their early learning centre. (I wanted them to be as little affected as possible).
* After 7 months I was "allowed" to move back into the family home as my lease had run out on the unit and I was running out of time to find somewhere else.
* During the time I was back at his house, I could see just how much more messed up he'd become. Angry all the time. Punching walls. Depressed all the time. Demanding validation and love from our children (him yelling at them to cuddle him etc); Constantly going out; Spending weekends away (which was fine with us); Spending his money on tattoos and body modifications; Drugs (found paraphernalia in the house, including weed cookies in the fridge, and he had a previous 2 year suspended sentence for drug cultivation); Constantly kicking me out in front of our children for not giving him enough praise or being grateful enough. They would be in tears begging to go with me (despite me having nowhere to go); Constantly kicking me out for refusing to show him my bank account/what I spend money on/what's in my wallet. Once I complied, he'd say it was ok for me to continue living there; Never bought groceries (unless fast food for himself), never contributed anything to our children. Has never paid child support at all.
* Ran over the family cat while we were all in the car. Blamed the cat, then refused to have him treated by a vet as he's "technically" my cat and my responsibility. Due to all my financial obligations (saving for bond/moving/furniture/, paying him rent, being solely financially responsible for our children) I could not afford it nor find a vet that offered a payment plan. The cat still hobbles around with a broken leg and our kids are devastated.
* I was struggling to save for a bond and all the money needed for moving, plus furniture, beds, electrical appliances. I was basically starting from scratch as he "owed me nothing".
* Constantly on his PC or phone- only giving our children attention when friends or family were around. Doing what he can to make me look incompetent and like I have no idea what I'm doing.
* Constantly telling me to move out so he can "have his life back".
We were lucky enough to find a house last month and we've moved about 50kms away. There are no custody of children or parenting orders in place. What can he do?
Can he have a recovery order granted? Can he get them back?
They have been so happy and relaxed since we have not been near him, under his roof. They never want to talk to him on the phone, yet I've had to make them talk to him, even if for 10 minutes.
I have contacted relationships Australia and am on the waiting list for mediation. I know that it will end up in court as he views our children as his property and will do what he can to be the only parent.
His parents are visiting towards the end of December until the end of January, I know they'll do what they can to make him succeed in getting recovery orders etc.
What can I do under Family Law?
* We have three beautiful children.
* We had a divorce in 2013.
* I was forced to leave the family home due to his family owning it and receiving written 4 weeks notice.
* I was forced to verbally agree to 50/50 "shared care" due to not knowing my rights or options, and due to me thinking he had all the power and being terrified of him.
* I moved 40kms away - into a one bedroom unit. Our children were with me 90% of the time due to his "depression". I travelled 2 hours in the morning and evening on public transport each weekday to take them to their early learning centre. (I wanted them to be as little affected as possible).
* After 7 months I was "allowed" to move back into the family home as my lease had run out on the unit and I was running out of time to find somewhere else.
* During the time I was back at his house, I could see just how much more messed up he'd become. Angry all the time. Punching walls. Depressed all the time. Demanding validation and love from our children (him yelling at them to cuddle him etc); Constantly going out; Spending weekends away (which was fine with us); Spending his money on tattoos and body modifications; Drugs (found paraphernalia in the house, including weed cookies in the fridge, and he had a previous 2 year suspended sentence for drug cultivation); Constantly kicking me out in front of our children for not giving him enough praise or being grateful enough. They would be in tears begging to go with me (despite me having nowhere to go); Constantly kicking me out for refusing to show him my bank account/what I spend money on/what's in my wallet. Once I complied, he'd say it was ok for me to continue living there; Never bought groceries (unless fast food for himself), never contributed anything to our children. Has never paid child support at all.
* Ran over the family cat while we were all in the car. Blamed the cat, then refused to have him treated by a vet as he's "technically" my cat and my responsibility. Due to all my financial obligations (saving for bond/moving/furniture/, paying him rent, being solely financially responsible for our children) I could not afford it nor find a vet that offered a payment plan. The cat still hobbles around with a broken leg and our kids are devastated.
* I was struggling to save for a bond and all the money needed for moving, plus furniture, beds, electrical appliances. I was basically starting from scratch as he "owed me nothing".
* Constantly on his PC or phone- only giving our children attention when friends or family were around. Doing what he can to make me look incompetent and like I have no idea what I'm doing.
* Constantly telling me to move out so he can "have his life back".
We were lucky enough to find a house last month and we've moved about 50kms away. There are no custody of children or parenting orders in place. What can he do?
Can he have a recovery order granted? Can he get them back?
They have been so happy and relaxed since we have not been near him, under his roof. They never want to talk to him on the phone, yet I've had to make them talk to him, even if for 10 minutes.
I have contacted relationships Australia and am on the waiting list for mediation. I know that it will end up in court as he views our children as his property and will do what he can to be the only parent.
His parents are visiting towards the end of December until the end of January, I know they'll do what they can to make him succeed in getting recovery orders etc.
What can I do under Family Law?
