SA Family issues regarding ex

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Pascal, 13 June 2019 at 12:19 AM.

  1. Pascal

    Pascal Member

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    My daughter is 7 and the mother will not grant me access to see her. I can not afford a lawyer so there is limited options here what can I do to see her.
    The mother also has a court order for me to be put down as dad on the birth certificate. ( long story cut short, the mother refused before to have me on the birth certificate.
    I want to refuse sighning it , even though I'm dad I'm wondering why now she wants me on the birth certificate. Is there any consequences for not sighning a court orderd certificate
     
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    Are u paying child support?
    I reckon that is why she now wants u on the certificate.

    Did u attend court when she applied to have your name on the birth certificate?
     
  3. Tremaine

    Tremaine Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like she is trying to claim child support. Don’t mess with the birth certificate thing - you’ll be added either by agreement or by the court and you’ll have to pay child support either way, so why refuse signing? All you’ll be doing is giving mum a really great story to tell your child about what a bad dad you are for refusing to sign the birth certificate.

    For time with the child, have you considered self-representation? Provided this is a straight forward case with no violence and such, you stand a good chance of getting every other weekend at least, even without a lawyer.
     
  4. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

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    Hi Pascal,
    Why haven’t you been on your child’s birth certificate for 7 yrs???
    I know this is an awful question, ‘are you 100% sure you are the child’s father’??
    Do you pay any child support NOW??
    Have you had access with your child before or is this the beginning??

    If you are not on the birth certificate now the mother could say the child is not yours.

    I don’t understand why you have been ordered to sign, without any proven test the child is yours??
    Things can be said during Family Court that can be extremely upsetting.
    Just be true to yourself, deceit is ugly!!

    What I find odd, is the mother doesn’t want you having access, but she wants you to sign the birth certificate, and this would be for child support definitely.
    I don’t know what proof the mother needs to give when requesting child support payments. I never received child support so that I definitely do not know.
     
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  5. Atticus

    Atticus Well-Known Member

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    Deliberately ignoring a direction given in a court order is contempt. Not something that you want to do
     
  6. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

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    Hi Atticus, I totally agree with you, I do.

    What if Pascal is not the father?? What then?
     
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  7. Atticus

    Atticus Well-Known Member

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    If there is an actual court order directing the signing of a BC, then the court would have needed to be satisfied that he is the biological father.... Also if I have read correctly he acknowledges in his post that he is the father
     
  8. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

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    You did read his post correctly, Pascal did say the mother did not want him on the birth certificate, at that time this was not her decision.
    So, what the mother can pick and choose who she wants on the birth certificate???
    Even though he did say he is the father and doesn’t want to sign the birth certificate, why should this change for him because the mother now wants that??
    I’m suggesting to Pascal maybe this is an avenue he can take
     
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  9. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    What happens if u don't sign?
    Mum takes to back to court and is well positioned to get a cost order against you. So u pay her legal fees.

    Child support can be backdated to the time of her initial application. You will owe lots of child support. They will garnish your wages and they are brutal.
     
  10. Hummingbird

    Hummingbird Well-Known Member

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    Pascal if you are able to use legal aid or pay for one appointment with a family lawyer to help you address this and future possible issues, I recommend it. Legal assistance will help anticipate possible issues and try to ensure you get yourself and this child the best outcome.

    Based on what you say, you can't refuse to sign the birth certificate if it is so ordered. I'm wondering though if you are certain you are the father, or if there has been a paternity test to establish you as the biological father. If so there is no doubt and you must sign the birth certificate or risk legal consequences. Not sure if that would be a fine or extends to something more serious, but once determined you are the father there is no real way out of it. I agree with other commenters in that the birth mother could be doing this now to seek child support if you are not already paying, the fact she does not let you see your child does not change anything in regards to your child support is calculated independently of access issues and will be based off your income, not anything the birth mother claims you make.

    What do you want out of this? Are you seeking to have a relationship with the child, and if so what kind of arrangement are you after? Do you want EOW or 50/50? Since the birth mother is alleging you are the father it will look very bad on her to continue to deny you parenting time and so you can definitely attempt mediation or file for custody orders to set up a parenting schedule which enforces your rights to see your child while holding her accountable if she continues to deny you parenting time after the plan is in place. If the child does not know you you can negotiate an incremental parenting plan where your parenting time increases over a set period of time, which might help ease the child into their new family relationship. You can do all this yourself although utilising legal aid or assistance will make it easier for you in the process, and help protect you. Since the birth mother appears to be initiating a process to get you to pay child support, this may be a good time to work out what kind of relationship you want with this child and get organised to make it happen and put into court orders. It can be a lengthy and frustrating process, especially if the birth mother is combative and high conflict, but make sure you have documented or keep evidence of texts, emails, keep a diary of every time you have requested time with the child, and what the outcome was. If she has let you see the child before, document it. If she denies you ANY visitation, document it. Both of these can help your case in court in different ways. In the meantime, keep your communication with her to the point, polite and relevant. Don't give her any ammunition to try and claim you are hostile, a danger or risk, or abusive.
     
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