WA Child Support Agency - Having Daughter Visit on School Holidays?

[Strugglingdad]

Can anyone please help?

My ex will not let my daughter come and spend school holidays with me. This means due to distance that I only see my daughter for about 30 days a year. If my ex would let me have our daughter for even half of the school holidays, I would have her for around 60 days.

The Child support agency are saying that it doesn't care and until we get to court then I have to pay. Is there anything I can do? It is only as the mother will not allow our daughter to spend that time with me that prevents me from having more time with my daughter.

 

[sammy01]

How old is the child?

Nope there is not much you can do as far as child support agency goes.

Get a book called "Breaking up' by a guy called Larkin and use this site to learn how to self represent. It will cost you about $400 to do a court application. You probably won't wind up in court. Quite often the court application can be enough to motivate a nasty ex to start being more reasonable...

But if you're doing it just to get a reduction in child support, then don't bother. Or at least get informed... How much are you gonna wind up paying if you have half school holidays? If the motivation is just to reduce child support, then you're better off moving back to near mum and going for 50/50...

Unless there are some extenuating circumstances that you have not mentioned - half holidays is a given...

 

[Strugglingdad]

how old is the child?
Nope there is not much you can do as far as child support agency goes.
Get a book called "breaking up' by a guy called Larkin and use this site to learn how to self represent. It will cost you about $400 to do a court application. You probably won't wind up in court. Quite often the court application can be enough to motivate a nasty ex to start being more reasonable... But if you're doing it just to get a reduction in child support, then don't bother. OR at least get informed... How much are you gonna wind up paying if you have half school holidays? If the motivation is just to reduce child support, then you're better off moving back to near mum and going for 50/50...

Unless there are some extenuating circumstances that you have not mentioned - half holidays is a given...

Hi, and thank you so much for your help. No the real reason is to be able to spend the time with my daughter and my daughter to be able to spend time with grand parents and other family. My daughter is five, I have said that I will come and pick her up and return her, so that she is not travelling by herself of course. Still the mother says No. Mediation has failed, so I now have my Certificate to lodge with the courts.

The cost of going and collecting my daughter and dropping her back cost far more than what the reduction in child support would be, so the reduction is not really an issue, it would just be nice if child support could see that she may be blocking the trips so she does get the higher amount!

 

[sammy01]

OK so CSA won't help. But - if your travel expenses equate to 15% of your income then they might make a deduction.... Maybe? If memory serves, there is such a rule. But I doubt you're spending 15% of your income... So waste of time I reckon?

So apply to court - you'll find self representation advice on line, from this site etc... Most cases never go all the way to trial. The magistrate will order more mediation But this time there will be more pressure on her to play nice. Insist on getting court orders no matter what. You don't want to get suckered into believing that she will agree if you withdraw the court application only to find out she has changed her mind in 3 months and you're back where you started...

 

[Strugglingdad]

ok so CSA won't help. BUT - if your travel expenses equate to 15% of your income then they might make a deduction.... MAYBE??? If memory serves, there is such a rule. BUT I doubt you're spending 15% of your income... So waste of time I reckon?

So apply to court - you'll find self representation advice on line, from this site etc... Most cases never go all the way to trial. The magistrate will order more mediation BUT this time there will be more pressure on her to play nice. Insist on getting court orders NO MATTER WHAT. You don't want to get suckered into believing that she will agree IF you withdraw the court application only to find out she has changed her mind in 3 months and you're back where you started...

Hi and thanks again Sammy. CSA have advised me that for any travel costs to spend time with my daughter they will take into account if it is 5% or more of my income. Each trip with flights, hire car and a two roomed motel normal cost is about 3K for the weekend or just over 4K for a week.

I have so far done 2 week trips and 4 weekend trips. So cost so far has been around 20K and I have all of the receipts to give CSA as well. On top of this paying half the mortgage, rates and insurance, daycare or before school and after school care. Also still buy clothing and shoes as and when my daughter says she needs them.

 

[sammy01]

U'm hang on a minute... You're not paying half of the mortgage rates, daycare after school care for the ex's house are you?

Oh dear... So lets assume you are... Here is what you need to do. Pay child support - Nothing more. Ziltch... But if you are then this is what I really really think you should do...

1 - Stop all payments - inform her you will not pay a damn thing until she agrees to time with child - half holidays is a given. Once you get that in consent orders the you can consider paying extra.. But I think you're mad if you do.

So at present you're paying heaps more than you should. And what are you getting for your money? Nothing. I was always prepared to pay extra to the ex. I'm a realist. so I accept I was bribing her. I give her extra money and she is nice to me. Sadly, my ex didn't like that game. She wanted me to pay extra and in return she would be nasty to me.... So I stopped all additional payments and paid child support only. Guess what? Nothing changed, she was still nasty to me, but at least I could afford a reasonable lifestyle because I wasn't paying for her life... Simple

 

[Rod]

I agree with Sammy. The court is unlikely to credit you anything for any extra payments you make prior to a property settlement.

 

[overitdad9]

Hi mate,

I'm in a similar situation but with 2 kids. I was just wanting to find out if the mother moved away with or without your permission or did you move? What is the distance between you and your daughter. and how many mediation sessions did you have. how long have you been separated from your ex?

In my case the mother moved with my permission but we agreed that the children or the eldest for the time been as the youngest is a baby would travel to come and see me. She has now back flipped and said no I have to travel to see the children as it's not fair to send one child and not the other and me not build a relationship with the youngest however unfortunately its not financially viable for me to do this.

We have done one mediation session and it went poorly to say the least did you continue or did you just say no give me the certificate so I can start court proceedings? The ex and I are only recently separated I'm hoping once all the animosity between her and i settles maybe she will be more willing?

 

[Strugglingdad]

Hi mate, im in a similar situation but with 2 kids. i was just wanting to find out if the mother moved away with or without your permission or did you move? what is the distance between you and your daughter. and how many mediation sessions did you have. how long have you been separated from your ex?

in my case the mother moved with my permission but we agreed that the children or the eldest for the time been as the youngest is a baby would travel to come and see me. She has now back flipped and said no i have to travel to see the children as its not fair to send one child and not the other and me not build a relationship with the youngest however unfortunately its not financially viable for me to do this.

we have done one mediation session and it went poorly to say the least did you continue or did you just say no give me the certificate so i can start court proceedings? the ex and i are only recently separated im hoping once all the animosity between her and i settles maybe she will be more willing?

I moved out to make sure my daughter had a familiar house to live in. Then found myself with no job, no money so then had to move 5700Km's away. 9 months separated and I went for private mediation. We were trying to work out a parenting plan ourselves but was going in circles, she said she would still attend mediation also told me she would, I chased the mediation service as to what was going on after two weeks.

Then advised she never went and had cancelled so after giving them evidence of her saying to me she was going they issued the certificate. Hope this helps

 

[sammy01]

Overitdad - how long has it been since she moved? If I would you I would lie lie lie. Tell magistrate that you never agreed to the move and try and get her to have to relocate back...

You're both screwed - your ex's are intent on minimising the time with the kids and making this as hard as possible. Get a court application in and learn to self represent.