WA Separation advice with child moving east

[Antonrx]

Hi,
Going through a separation and trying to get as much advice as I can.

We have a 2 year old girl and me ex is from Melbourne so she will be taking her daughter there as her family are all there once the house and rental which I will try purchase is sold. She is also take 60% of assets and will get child support from me weekly. This is from the advice she has told me she has gotten. I have not gotten any advice I have just heard some guys get it worse so I am not sure if I should be happy with what is proposed.

I can understand why she wants to go back to melbourne however it is going to make it very difficult (and expensive) for me to see my daughter. Some people I have spoken to tell me she can't go and a lawyer said I need immediate family law advice and need to put a stop on her going although I don't know of that is realistic. Firstly if I do that things will become very messy quick and chances are the courts would let her take my daughter anyway. Would I be correct in thinking this?

 

[Rod]

OK, now tell us what you want to happen in an ideal situation?

 

[sammy01]

Are you going to move to Melbourne?
I would not agree for the ex to go without consent orders that clearly stipulate when you will see the kid. Otherwise she moves to Melbourne and you have basically stuff all going for you.

You seem to be aware that you're in a precarious position here... So Let me give you some thinking music.
1. You refuse the move to Melbourne. She gets mad... You don't see the kid...
2. You agree to the move, there is an argument about something else, she gets mad... You don't see the kid.... But in this scenario, you'll have travel costs as well as legal costs where with option 1 you'll only have legal costs...

 

[Antonrx]

I wasn't going to move to Melbourne as I don't know anyone and won't have a job and to be honest don't like the place. She hasnt even mentioned me moving too. To be honest I never considered it but maybe I should. She did talk about moving one day when we were still together but I didn't like the idea due to my job running my dad's workshop and having two houses I wanted to be on the safe side as I have worked long hard hours to get where I was, but I guess that backfired. I am sure she would get mad about that.

I think getting a court order will firstly only make her want to try to take more and I expect she would go to court and be allowed to take her anyway. She would then be even more difficult in allowing me to see my child.

Even the cost of flights and accommodation to visit will be difficult on my small wage once I pay child support and pay a morgage. Sometime I think I should go to court as maybe I would end up not getting 40% as I came into relation ship with a lot more and she has the ability to earn more than me, plus her taking the child seems unfair. However I hear too many storied of the father coping it even worse financially and child visitations. Plus the whole getting her angry when we are amicable at the moment could lead to more issues.

Sorry for the long reply and most likely mistakes. Typing on my phone isn't fun. I guess in the short of it maybe I deal with what I have and make sure we see a lawyer to sort out visitation rights.

 

[Rod]

If you don't want to move, and you want to continue seeing your daughter more than 3-4 times per year, then apply to court asap for parenting orders. It becomes harder if she moves before any orders are in place. Even an application puts you in a stronger position. Property division should also be worked out sooner rather than later. If you are married you don't have to wait 12 months for the divorce before settling on property. If you had significant assets before the relationship, and the relationship has been short, there's a chance you'll do better than 40%, especially if she earns more than you.

If you want to continue seeing your daughter you are likely in for many sleepless nights. Accept it and get ready for a fight. Hope it doesn't work out that way, but just be prepared. You've already indicated she is going to fight for what she wants, so you need to decide if you going to concede, or fight. If money is an issue find a lawyer who will provide advice and guidance with you putting in the grunt work to save costs. DIY parenting orders are possible, but with a possible interstate move by the other party, legal advice will help.

Look to get mediation asap as well. I think, but not 100% sure, that WA requires mediation as part of the parenting orders process.

 

[sammy01]

You seem to be very worried about making her mad..
Story time... For a while there I was paying the mortgage on the house she was living in.... rent. Child support, her car loan.... I paid additional child support too... And she was mad at me...

I stopped paying everything but the child support... She was mad at me... The only difference? I had more money in my pocket...

Forget about trying to stop her getting mad.. That is not your concern anymore... Your concern is looking out for yourself and your family and if you feel it best that the child stay in WA and have a relationship with you... Then make that your goal...

 

[Rod]

Keep in mind your ex can always move to Melbourne by herself if it very important for her and arrange and pay for visits 4 times a year.