Self represent or legal representation?

[finoallefine43]

Hi,

i started off with a lawyer but took some bad advice and so did my ex in a parenting order case that has been ongoing since Feb this year - we are still in current interim orders but the last hearing the judge told me to apply to amend existing orders and to present an affidavit to support it....great that he suggested this!

My dilemma is do I rack up $3-$4K In legal fees to engage someone to assist and represent me in court or do I file the application and affidavit myself and then represent myself in court? Me and my ex are representing ourselves but I got the feeling from the judge that he would prefer a legal person to come in and speak to him as opposed to us......

Ideally I want to engage someone to help me to file the amendment proposal and supporting affidavit and represent me at the next hearing but financially I don't have a massive fund to play with.....any advice or recommendations would be much appreciated.

 

[sammy01]

what are you guys arguing about? If it is the difference between one extra night a week with the kids, is it really worth the fight?
Look no-one on a site like this can tell you with any real authority what to do. If spending the $3-4K is gonna send you to the poor house, don't do it..

 

[finoallefine43]

what are you guys arguing about? If it is the difference between one extra night a week with the kids, is it really worth the fight?
Look no-one on a site like this can tell you with any real authority what to do. If spending the $3-4K is gonna send you to the poor house, don't do it..

Is that the best comment you can make? The best thing would be to ask for the facts so i'll tell you...

mother currently gets 20 days a month i get 10 with my kids - so yes it is worth the fight seeing as I love my kids and there's no reason on earth why it shouldn't be 50/50 other than my ex makes up a lot of hearsay and bulls**t....

I am not asking for someone to tell me what to do I am asking for advice that's all - I make my own decisions....

The money is an issue of course it is why get sucked into the $$$$$ unless absolutely necessary and that's what I was asking if you actually read my comment?

 

[sammy01]

"Is that the best comment you can make?"

wow calm down.... Read the very first sentence I wrote in my last post "what are you guys arguing about?" So yup I did ask for the facts... TRUE. Maybe if you'd have provided 'the facts' in your first post you would have gotten a more precise opinion...

Now I reckon I might have some decent advice for you, but gee, maybe I can spend my time patting my dog, at least he will be appreciative.

Some judges are more accommodating of self-representers.... It would appear that your judge ain't one of them... So spend the money.
look I've self represented on some minor stuff, the ex refusing to follow court orders for holidays. Would have sucked if I lost, but not life changing... But when it comes to ensuring the kids had maximum time with me... I spent the $$$ because they're worth it.

one more thing, write the affidavit - exclude details (names etc) post it here with enough grey area that you don't have to worry about the ex stumbling upon it (very unlikely) the good folk here might be able to offer some suggestions.... See that way you can get a solicitor to edit your work and submit it. That will be cheaper than getting them to write the whole thing....
But feel free to ignore my advice and be rude about it.... You came looking for an opinion, and I gave you one... so what do ya reckon, worth being rude to me?

 

[finoallefine43]

"Is that the best comment you can make?"

wow calm down.... Read the very first sentence I wrote in my last post "what are you guys arguing about?" So yup I did ask for the facts... TRUE. Maybe if you'd have provided 'the facts' in your first post you would have gotten a more precise opinion...

Now I reckon I might have some decent advice for you, but gee, maybe I can spend my time patting my dog, at least he will be appreciative.

Some judges are more accommodating of self-representers.... It would appear that your judge ain't one of them... So spend the money.
look I've self represented on some minor stuff, the ex refusing to follow court orders for holidays. Would have sucked if I lost, but not life changing... But when it comes to ensuring the kids had maximum time with me... I spent the $$$ because they're worth it.

one more thing, write the affidavit - exclude details (names etc) post it here with enough grey area that you don't have to worry about the ex stumbling upon it (very unlikely) the good folk here might be able to offer some suggestions.... See that way you can get a solicitor to edit your work and submit it. That will be cheaper than getting them to write the whole thing....
But feel free to ignore my advice and be rude about it.... You came looking for an opinion, and I gave you one... so what do ya reckon, worth being rude to me?

i was no ruder than you were in your initial response - thanks and that's the best advice you have given "But when it comes to ensuring the kids had maximum time with me... I spent the $$$ because they're worth it." the rest I am sorry is of no use to me.

 

[AllForHer]

So, you've already had the benefit of working with a lawyer, which means you know what an affidavit looks like and what an initiating application looks like. Often, the most difficulty SRLs encounter is not understanding how an affidavit should be written and what to file, so that's to your advantage.

On top of that, and as much as I hate to say it, you are fairly early on in proceedings, and self-representing through interim hearings is easy because they don't include cross-examinations, but you can still get some reasonable orders in your favour while proceedings are underway. You can represent yourself up until trial if you want, and then enlist the aid of counsel then.

This is what we did. Our matter was on foot for ten months, interim orders were 3/11 in her favour, we sought 7/7, she sought interim orders as final. My husband self-represented up until two weeks before our trial date, at which time we started looking for a lawyer, but luckily for us, the ex-wife's lawyer sent a proposal for consent orders for 7/7. The whole process cost us nothing and cost his ex about $20,000, not including the additional $10,000 cost she faced if she insisted on going to trial.

During interim hearings, we took full advantage of the three free consultations that Legal Aid offers for each family law matter. We sought advice on affidavits, filing, how to write minutes of orders, how to get interim orders changed, they were very helpful. If you decide to self-represent, you might consider doing the same.

Statistically, only 5% of matters initiated in Court actually result in orders being made after a trial. 95% of them settle by consent, most before the trial day, some on the day, but I'd say it's often the disparity between the orders sought and the attitude between the parents that can help or hinder the likelihood of reaching orders by consent.

What kind of care arrangement is your ex seeking? What's her reasoning for not facilitating more? How old are the kids?

 

[sammy01]

mate you can't pick and choose your advice... So guess what? I reckon all my advice is worth you considering... dismissing my advice as no use to you, really lacks insight.

So - at present you have 5 a fortnight and half holidays? is that right? look don't take my advice, go get a book called "breaking up" by a guy called Larkin. You'll likely get it at the local library... He is a family law barrister and wrote a book about self representing. So I'm guided by him for my advice (and my own experience). 5 a fortnight... Is it really worth the stress grief for an additional night or two? Unless of course you're wanting primary care and mum's time to be minimised. Now of course, if that is the case good luck to you... BUT how would anyone here know as you have asked for advice without actually telling anyone terribly much about the situation.

So in my experience. 5 a fortnight and half holidays ain't bad. I chose (reluctantly) to accept that.... Just didn't need the stress of court. AND the kids got it... They thought 50/50 was fair and they worked out for themselves that it was mum who was the obstacle. AND my house became that fun house. YEP rules etc, but my place was a bit of a break from mum - dad did fun stuff on the weekend etc... And we don't live in a fair world. It aint fair that I work my arse off and the ex live off centerlink and child support... So 5 a fortnight and half holidays meant that I could continue working, saving etc etc If you're having 5 a fortnight, I just question the merit of continuing the fight... Especially when self representing. It is bloody stressful TRUE? I can honestly say I'm glad that once I had 5 a fortnight and half holidays, I'm glad I let it go and just accepted it.

BTW - it didn't take long after the dust settled until the ex started asking me to take the kids for more time.... And less than 2 yrs on she dumped the kids on me and left...

Final thought - one piece of my advice that you dismissed and I reckon you wanna think it over. You got the feeling magistrate wanted you to get representation... Take the magistrates advice.... See them magistrates are funny creatures.... They can only give so much 'advice'. Maybe there is something that the average punters like you and me have missed that a solicitor would see as glaringly obvious. Magistrate cant tell you what it is - they have to stay neutral, TRUE? So short version, magistrate has given you reason to think that getting legal representation is a good idea? TAKE THE ADVICE.