NSW Negotiation with ex's lawyers? Self representation

[sammy01]

Ok. What nationality are you? what nationality is the ex?
Start writing the letter to the ex's solicitor asking for your time to resume.

Be very careful about contacting the ex or any mutual friends / relatives. Anything like that could be turn around to look like harassment. Then you'll have the police knocking on your door.

 

[Atticus]

It is a fishing expedition for them - But same for you... If they come back

@adi There's your problem..... IF THEY COMEBACK.... Much more likely you'll send in a list of what they can expect from you & all you'll get back is zero... As I said, you are in a better position to know if this is a sudden genuine attempt to offer something out of the blue, or something else... If it's the later, I stick by my opinion that you ought to be seeing her response to your application before you offer anything other than what you have in orders sought..... If you have changed your mind on orders sought or it has become impractical for you, then there may be some good reason to negotiate before a response.

Given that there has been zero conatct from your ex & all contcat with child has been witheld as well, then relaistically, what are the chances of her agreeing to resume the level of care now?.... If you think that may be possible then tell them that's what you want resumed now as a gesture that they are genuine

 

[adi]

@Atticus , thanks for your valuable feedback. I will not seek anything less than what I have sought in interim/final orders. Given that there is zero contact and communication, I feel its more of fishing expedition. I miss my daughter too. What do you think about requesting immediate resumption of 2 nights per week arrangement we had and a request to time box long term arrangement exactly as I have requested in interim/final orders?
I have not changed my mind about interim/final orders and I want to have 50/50 care of my daughter. The orders I am seeking are practical for me.

Can I also tell them I look forward to a response to my application? Or just because I try to negotiate they can tell the court to move the date and not file a response? Or worse can they argue that for interim orders all they do is resumption of 2 nights per week when I want on a week about basis?

 

[Immismum]

My suggestion is that you rethink which two nights a week you have if you are asking for a resumption.
Parenting involves a misture of the good times and the drudgery.
By having every weekend you are getting all the good times, and letting your ex do all the hard work with school pick ups and drop offs etc.
you might like to consider after school Friday to drop off Monday morning every second weekend and one night in the off week, or even Friday to Tuesday. That’s still 4 nights a fortnight, but in my opinion a much fairer arrangement.

 

[Atticus]

Can I also tell them I look forward to a response to my application?

If it were me, i would just be writing back with something like..... The orders sought in my application have not changed, I look forward to your timely response. For now, I just ask that your client immediately resume the amount of contact that was taking place prior to our daughter being withheld. This would be a gesture of goodwill on her part that would be noted...

They can not move their response date, & you should be notified if they were seeking to amend court dates ...

 

[adi]

If it were me, i would just be writing back with something like..... The orders sought in my application have not changed, I look forward to your timely response. For now, I just ask that your client immediately resume the amount of contact that was taking place prior to our daughter being withheld. This would be a gesture of goodwill on her part that would be noted...

They can not move their response date, & you should be notified if they were seeking to amend court dates ...

Thanks @Atticus, I couldn't have put it better

 

[adi]

My suggestion is that you rethink which two nights a week you have if you are asking for a resumption.
Parenting involves a misture of the good times and the drudgery.
By having every weekend you are getting all the good times, and letting your ex do all the hard work with school pick ups and drop offs etc.
you might like to consider after school Friday to drop off Monday morning every second weekend and one night in the off week, or even Friday to Tuesday. That’s still 4 nights a fortnight, but in my opinion a much fairer arrangement.

@Immismum , I understand. The previous arrangement was proposed by my ex only. I want 50/50 so both of us get good times and the drudgery - I want to do school work with my daughter, not just be a weekend dad. I have not seen my daughter since Feb. At this stage, I want what was before resumed to start with, my ex has had all the time with my daughter since 4 months.

 

[sammy01]

I'm gonna disagree a little with Atticus. I reckon asking for an immediate resumption of the old parenting plan is a start. Yep fishing expedition - But if they're gonna refuse 2 a week they're gonna refuse an increase all the more. Right now go gently, just to get a resumption of time so you're actually seeing your child.

 

[adi]

I have used a combo of Sammy and Atticus to respond to my ex's solicitor

 

[adi]

I got a response affidavit filed by my ex's lawyer today along with notice of risk. The notice of risk alleges verbal, emotional, physical, psychological abuse. The affidavit along with annexures is 46 pages long. Lot of allegations and twisted facts (my sms) are present there. Orders I am seeking was 50/50 and my ex wife is seeking sole parental custody with supervised contact for 2 hrs per fortnight.

I am very much confused and devastated as to how I will proceed and if I did mistakes when filing my initiating application.

When I was filing an initiating application (interim and final orders), I had a limit of 10 pages for affidavit and 5 pages for annexures. Now I can see that the response affidavit does not have any such restrictions. Did i misunderstand something or did something wrong? To keep it concise to 10 pages and 5 annexures, I had left out lot of things.

Please help me. I am in the process of filing another affidavit as part of application in a case to put my daughter's name in Family watchlist. I do not want to make same mistakes I did. Do I still have restrictions on number of pages for the affidavit? Any other thing I should be careful about.

The email to negotiate/settle now looks purely a fishing expedition