NSW Negotiation with ex's lawyers? Self representation

[adi]

Hi,

I have applied for parenting orders at FCC and the duty hearing is in late June. My ex has sent an email telling me that I can contact her lawyer for negotiation and/or settlement. I am self representing and I want to seek your views on what are some of the do's and dont's? Also, despite no communication since Feb, I am surprised by this email.

Please provide your views, thanks.

Thank you

 

[sammy01]

Good. Write a response outlining what you want. Post it here with names removed.

 

[Atticus]

Also, despite no communication since Feb, I am surprised by this email.

Please provide your views, thanks.

You are in a much better position to know whether this is a genuine attempt out of the blue or a fishing expedition prior to putting together a response for court

I have applied for parenting orders at FCC and the duty hearing is in late June.

When was she served ? ....... She should have some idea already of what you want from your application paperwork... did you seek interim orders as well? What are you seeking?

So as the respondent, has she proposed anything so far?

 

[adi]

Hi Atticus,

Thanks for your reply.

I am seeking interim and final orders. I am seeking 50/50 on a week about basis. Also, seeking holiday time of 50/50. I have not met my daughter since 3 week of Feb. Previous to that she was coming home 2 days a week for about 2 years. Ex was served in 1 week of April and the directions hearing was in 4 week. I had filed the application in wrong court (family court). In duty hearing, the case was moved to FCC and new hearing date (duty hearing) is in 3rd week of June.

On the day of the directions hearing, I was informed of a lawyer being appointed. Also, so far so response have been filed by my wife/her lawyer. From the interim and final orders, she knows what orders I am seeking.

Kindly advise how I should proceed and what are the do's and dont's if its a fishing expedition?

 

[adi]

Good. Write a response outlining what you want. Post it here with names removed.

Hi sammy01, what I want is mentioned in the interim and final orders. Is this what you are asking me to post with names removed? In principle, I am seeking 50/50 on a week about basis, holidays included. Can I send what I want in a private message?

 

[Atticus]

Kindly advise how I should proceed and what are the do's and dont's if its a fishing expedition?

To be honest, you are under no obligation to respond to the lawyer at all, BUT, If it was me, I would just respond by directing them to the orders you are seeking in your application, (which they have) & that you are looking forward to her response to the application....

What I wouldn't be doing, is engaging in any kind of lengthy dialogue or negotiating less than you have sought in orders/interim (at least until you see her response to application)

 

[adi]

To be honest, you are under no obligation to respond to the lawyer at all, BUT, If it was me, I would just respond by directing them to the orders you are seeking in your application, (which they have) & that you are looking forward to her response to the application....

What I wouldn't be doing, is engaging in any kind of lengthy dialogue or negotiating less than you have sought in orders/interim (at least until you see her response to application)

Thanks a lot Atticus. Appreciate your feedback. What you said makes sense to me.
Negotiations/mediation happens after the respondent has filed a response to the initiating application directed by court right during the hearing? Just understanding the process

 

[Atticus]

Negotiations/mediation happens after the respondent has filed a response to the initiating application directed by court right during the hearing?

Court registrar needs to know the basic facts of the case, & what aspects of it are in contention.... The application & response helps the registrar do that ..... Whole process is geared around identifying issues & looking for ways to resolve them.. As such, you are best off only seeking orders that are practical (doable) for you.

Not saying you should totally discount all & every opportunity to find some common ground before first court event, BUT, at the moment the ball is their court... you need a response to your application at least, & then you can start to properly identify areas of contention.... If some GENUINE attempt to resolve issues then come from subsequent discussions prior to court, then those can be further discussed at court

 

[sammy01]

So the first thing courts will do is order more mediation... After that the court will likely order a family report and after that Maybe more mediation. It can take a year or two to get to a final hearing... That isn't a bad thing. This stuff is daunting. In most cases people come to an agreement well before the final hearing.

So can you see the envelope on the top right of the screen. I've sent you a personal message

I reckon you write back to the solicitor requesting the immediate resumption of your 2 days per week and for the solicitor to respond to advise if the ex is prepared to enter into a long term compromise where your time with the child will incrementally increase.

It is a fishing expedition for them - But same for you... If they come back with a flat refusal you know you have a biggger fight on your hands. If they agree to the resumption of 2 a week, well that is something... I'm sure you're missing the child. BTW when you say 2 days a week. Does that mean 1 night?
Questions:
How old is the child?
What was the visiting schedule before all of this?
Is there any chance the ex is keen to relocate away from the current area?

 

[adi]

Questions:
How old is the child?
What was the visiting schedule before all of this?
Is there any chance the ex is keen to relocate away from the current area?

My daughter is 8.5 years old. She used to come home 2 nights a week. Friday morning I used to pick her up take her to school and drop her back to her mum's place Sunday morning, every week.
All communication has been stopped from my ex and we do not have any mutual friend that we are in touch with. I am preparing orders for family watchlist as I feel she might travel out of the country. There is a possibility that my ex might relocate from current area also, can I put some orders in place for not being able to relocate with my daughter as I am preparing for "family watchlist" orders anyway?

I am missing my daughter a lot. Since Feb I have not had her home. I went to meet her at school in March for 2 days and my ex talked to Principal on 3rd day and said my daughter is distressed that I come there (Principal of school told me there is no court orders preventing me from entering school but as child is distressed, she wont allow that in her premises) and I stopped going to school on my own.