VIC Query about Kid's school change after breakup and more

[I_m_determined]

Requesting valuable suggestions from the legal experts in this forum.

After a painful 10 year period and trying everything, I initiated a split in Jan 2018 as I was now being threatened for false family violence complaints. My ex was abroad with our 9 year old daughter when I informed her that she can either transfer the rental home lease or I can stay. I also wrote to her that she can take whatever she wants from the home and I moved to a hotel before she arrived.

She came and went to the police and filed intervention order. She took our daughter and currently living at a friend’s place. She had informed me earlier that if split happens, she will leave the daughter, but later changed her mind.

I offered 50% child care formally through lawyer that she declined. She removed the kid from her school and put her in a new primary school near her work 35 km away from our home. The daughter is really attached to the school and hate moving to a new one. She is currently driving 65km one way and taking the kid with her.

We both are in full-time jobs (me 114k and she 53k)I have provided all my financial details (about 49k savings + 30k super) and asked about hers. She had about 30k savings+ 12k super before split and a property jointly with a parent abroad (about 23k of her share). I do have documents.According to the lawyer it would be 60-40 split that is already there in the accounts.

I want to save the daughter from the trauma of going to new school and leaving her friends in this difficult time.

1. If I get 50% care, I can easily change rental home near to her new school but that will not change anything for the daughter. I want to bring her back to her old school where she had friends. How to do this? If went to court, what is the time frame and cost?

2. When the police called me when she showed in the station, I told them that I have no problems with her staying at the home or taking anything from there, and I was staying in a hotel at that time. That left no grounds for threat but still the police filed for an interim intervention order? How to proceed with this? Should I contest or provide an undertaking? I can not see my daughter now. The court date for this order is due in a month and I have no intention to initiate any contact with her but I want to see my daughter.

3. My lawyer has also proposed to have my daughter with me on weekends on an interim basis which she most likely will deny. What options do I have?

4. What should be my steps if she is not ready for a mediation too as she is going to use the child to fetch money from me (maintenance).

Thank you so much for the help in advance.

 

[Jake Matherson]

I suggest not waiting around for her to be ready for mediation. Start organising that now Call relationships Australia and set up your meeting.

If she doesn't attend you get your 60i Certificate and then are allowed to start Family Court proceedings.
Family Court Orders are the only thing that will assure you time with your daughter. From now on your Ex is able to just not let you see her if she want's and there is nothing you can do about it.

If she does attend the mediation and is not co-operating then you will also get your certificate.
The longer you leave it the longer the child will be in a current routine and the harder it will be to get 50/50 quickly.

If you get a letter in the mail asking you to pay child support pay it and nothing over and above. Obviously she will claim that she has the child 100% of the time therefore your in for the maximum amount until you can show CSA that you have a higher percentage of care. If you have more than 35% care she will get less money from the government so watch out for that sticking point.

But yeah. I suggest you get the ball rolling as Family Court is very slow and if she is uncooperative at mediation or allowing you to see your daughter you could be in for a long wait.

Just a few of my thoughts

 

[sammy01]

Good advice - I agree
Start the process of mediation. Call relationships Australia.
your solicitor can write to her and ask for access to the daughter. That is all good.

Now the AVO - look my advice is to accept without admission. Some fights are not worth having and an AVO can be a beautiful thing sometimes. It means she cant call you and pester you. But you need to be careful not to breach it. Sure you can defend it, but I reckon that $$ is best spent of the family law stuff.

I'll write more later

 

[I_m_determined]

Requesting valuable suggestions from the legal experts in this forum.

After a painful 10 year period and trying everything, I initiated a split in Jan 2018 as I was now being threatened for false family violence complaints. My ex was abroad with our 9 year old daughter when I informed her that she can either transfer the rental home lease or I can stay. I also wrote to her that she can take whatever she wants from the home and I moved to a hotel before she arrived.

She came and went to the police and filed intervention order. She took our daughter and currently living at a friend’s place. She had informed me earlier that if split happens, she will leave the daughter, but later changed her mind.

I offered 50% child care formally through lawyer that she declined. She removed the kid from her school and put her in a new primary school near her work 35 km away from our home. The daughter is really attached to the school and hate moving to a new one. She is currently driving 65km one way and taking the kid with her.

We both are in full-time jobs (me 114k and she 53k)I have provided all my financial details (about 49k savings + 30k super) and asked about hers. She had about 30k savings+ 12k super before split and a property jointly with a parent abroad (about 23k of her share). I do have documents.According to the lawyer it would be 60-40 split that is already there in the accounts.

I want to save the daughter from the trauma of going to new school and leaving her friends in this difficult time.

1. If I get 50% care, I can easily change rental home near to her new school but that will not change anything for the daughter. I want to bring her back to her old school where she had friends. How to do this? If went to court, what is the time frame and cost?

2. When the police called me when she showed in the station, I told them that I have no problems with her staying at the home or taking anything from there, and I was staying in a hotel at that time. That left no grounds for threat but still the police filed for an interim intervention order? How to proceed with this? Should I contest or provide an undertaking? I can not see my daughter now. The court date for this order is due in a month and I have no intention to initiate any contact with her but I want to see my daughter.

3. My lawyer has also proposed to have my daughter with me on weekends on an interim basis which she most likely will deny. What options do I have?

4. What should be my steps if she is not ready for a mediation too as she is going to use the child to fetch money from me (maintenance).

Thank you so much for the help in advance.

===========================================================

I suggest not waiting around for her to be ready for mediation. Start organising that now Call relationships Australia and set up your meeting.

If she doesn't attend you get your 60i Certificate and then are allowed to start Family Court proceedings.
Family Court Orders are the only thing that will assure you time with your daughter. From now on your Ex is able to just not let you see her if she want's and there is nothing you can do about it.

If she does attend the mediation and is not co-operating then you will also get your certificate.
The longer you leave it the longer the child will be in a current routine and the harder it will be to get 50/50 quickly.

If you get a letter in the mail asking you to pay child support pay it and nothing over and above. Obviously she will claim that she has the child 100% of the time therefore your in for the maximum amount until you can show CSA that you have a higher percentage of care. If you have more than 35% care she will get less money from the government so watch out for that sticking point.

But yeah. I suggest you get the ball rolling as Family Court is very slow and if she is uncooperative at mediation or allowing you to see your daughter you could be in for a long wait.

Just a few of my thoughts

I suggest not waiting around for her to be ready for mediation. Start organising that now Call relationships Australia and set up your meeting.

If she doesn't attend you get your 60i Certificate and then are allowed to start Family Court proceedings.
Family Court Orders are the only thing that will assure you time with your daughter. From now on your Ex is able to just not let you see her if she want's and there is nothing you can do about it.

If she does attend the mediation and is not co-operating then you will also get your certificate.
The longer you leave it the longer the child will be in a current routine and the harder it will be to get 50/50 quickly.

If you get a letter in the mail asking you to pay child support pay it and nothing over and above. Obviously she will claim that she has the child 100% of the time therefore your in for the maximum amount until you can show CSA that you have a higher percentage of care. If you have more than 35% care she will get less money from the government so watch out for that sticking point.

But yeah. I suggest you get the ball rolling as Family Court is very slow and if she is uncooperative at mediation or allowing you to see your daughter you could be in for a long wait.

Just a few of my thoughts

===================================================================
Thanks, Jake.
I want to know about the option of bringing the daughter back to her old primary school. What should be the process to achieve that result?

 

[Jake Matherson]

Whilst your girl is not in your care you're going to have a hard time achieving the school change without a court order. Especially considering you now have the DV matter to deal with.

Option 1: you go to mediation and mum is cooperative and you negotiate a care arrangement. Mum gets these day, dad gets these days and the child returns to X school.
This parenting plan you would write up is not enforceable by anyone and is only worth the paper it's written on.
However failing to abide by the parenting plan for no apparent reason would look bad on the individual during the court process that would come.

Option 2: You do mediation, fail, get your certificate and apply to Family Court. You ask for Interim and Final Orders. One of the orders being that the child is re-enrolled and attends X School.
You highlight the reasons why being routine, attachment, friends, its geographically located halfway between both parents etc.....

Then if you're lucky the registrar/Judge will make you an order and your girl is back where she wants to be.

There might be some other ways to do things. I'm not a lawyer, just another bloke going through his own mess.

Just throwing a random time scale at you. It might take you two weeks to get booked into mediation and it might take you 3-6 months after you have your mediation certificate to get into court for the first time.
Things are going to go much slower than you want them to go. Hence my suggestion to not drag your feet. Get in and get stuff done. If she co-operates great! If not your already on the front foot.

 

[Tremaine]

Well, the first step is to talk to mum about the child's school at mediation and see if you can wrangle some agreement out of her, but where there's an AVO and an unwilling participant, that can often be wishful thinking. If mediation results in an undesirable outcome, then the next step is filing an initiating application with the FamCA/FCCA. If you do have to file an initiating application, it's best to do so as quickly as possible. If a care arrangement remains in place for too long, even if it's been implemented unilaterally, it can become the status quo, which becomes difficult to change later on.

How old is the child in this scenario?

 

[Rod]

Ask your lawyer about urgent orders for recovery of your daughter.

 

[I_m_determined]

Well, the first step is to talk to mum about the child's school at mediation and see if you can wrangle some agreement out of her, but where there's an AVO and an unwilling participant, that can often be wishful thinking. If mediation results in an undesirable outcome, then the next step is filing an initiating application with the FamCA/FCCA. If you do have to file an initiating application, it's best to do so as quickly as possible. If a care arrangement remains in place for too long, even if it's been implemented unilaterally, it can become the status quo, which becomes difficult to change later on.

How old is the child in this scenario?

Thanks, Tremaine.
She is 9 and a half right now.

 

[sammy01]

Don't talk to mum... not if there is an arvo against u.