QLD My partner has been charged and is in jail. I feel very responsible

[Leisap]

Hi,
Early last Saturday morning my partner I went out. I was saying some really hurtful soul crushing comments on the way home in regards to our intimate life. He stayed quite the whole way home, when we got home I went on to the shop in the taxi and returned. When I returned he had locked me out. After trying to call him he let me in, he finally unlocked the door. I had my phone in my hand and told him if he hurt me I'd call the police. He knocked the phone out and choked me twice before going into the spare bedroom. I was angry and intoxicated went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and banged on the door yelling at him to never lay a hand on me again. It was over quickly, however the next door neighbour called the police. About an hour later they arrived and my partner let them in. They woke me up and asked what happened. They asked me what happened to my neck and I told them what happened. Everything happened so quickly, he was taken away and charged with the non-fatal strangulation crime. I was not aware that it is up to 7 years in jail. He had been held in the watch house until his court hearing today and now has been held in remand until the 9 May. I feel I was very verbally abusive and feel so guilty. I have been with this man for two years, he has been violent once before and had a good behaviour bond put on him. However I can honestly say I have been very hurtful with my verbal abuse. I made a statement today explaining my behaviour, however because of the new law of non-fatal strangulation, there is nothing I can do. Does anyone have any advise, I know we need time apart.. how ever, I also know I fuelled the argument and don't believe he needs to go to jail
Thank you

 

[Tim W]

Being a victim of attempted murder is never your fault.

 

[Leisap]

Being a victim of attempted murder is never your fault.

Thank you for your response Tim,
I need to confess I have provoked my partner. My partner is a very quite and easy going man who loves me with a passion, he will always walk away from a fight or quarrel even when I will hold him by his shirt, corner him and say some language that I'm not proud to repeat and do all sorts of physical violent acts to him. After been in a previous real domestic violent relationship I know fear and I do not fear my partner. I have become the abuser and feel I poked him, disrespected his boundaries, until one day he got tired of my abuse and I received exactly what I had inflicted on him for over a year. It's only by chance that the police have not been contacted on the moments I have inflicted both verbal and physical abuse in the past. Every action has a reaction, I believe I have caused a very loving man to react in the most irrational way, can I blame him ( my actions were far from rational) This has opened my eyes and have vowed never disrespect him again and more importantly to seek the help I should of years ago from past relationships. My question to you is, can I explain the grey area in the district court. Will this help the judge understand that is was him who has dealt with my verbal and physical abuse and people have a breaking point. I understand the sensitivity around domestic violence with the recent news, however I know this man and I need to be accountable for my part.

 

[Tim W]

This is a complex question.
The police will not be much help to you.
You will need a lawyer to assist you.

 

[Leisap]

This is a complex question.
The police will not be much help to you.
You will need a lawyer to assist you.

Thank you, I will on Tuesday.

 

[Leisap]

This is a complex question.
The police will not be much help to you.
You will need a lawyer to assist you.

Hi Tim,
I have organised a criminal lawyer for my partner, however his lawyer has suggested that I have my own lawyer before having anymore contact with the police, are you based in Brisbane?

 

[Tim W]

Hi Tim,
I have organised a criminal lawyer for my partner, however his lawyer has suggested that I have my own lawyer before having anymore contact with the police, are you based in Brisbane?

No, I'm based in Sydney.

Telling you to have your own lawyer in this scenario is very good advice.
I suggest using our Lawtap function to find a lawyer near you.

 

[Leisap]

No, I'm based in Sydney.

Telling you to have your own lawyer in this scenario is very good advice.
I suggest using our Lawtap function to find a lawyer near you.

Thank you very much for your help.

 

[Leisap]

Hi Tim,
A question if could and an update, I couldn't afford a lawyer after spending all of our savings on his lawyer. After numerous attempts in trying to contact police, I felt all they wanted was my original statement and did not want to know any past information. So after a lot of thinking and research I came to the conclusion to change my statement to reflect the pictures on my neck. I changed my statement to reflect that I was self harming and I was restrained by my arm and neck. My partner went to the Supreme Court and his bail application was cancelled due to the prosecutor not having the new amendmended statement. He will now go the magistrate court (lower court) with the significant changes to evidence. How likely will it be to have the charges dropped if his statement is similar to mine? I have indirectly emailed his lawyer and been told by his lawyer that he needs to rely on the prosecutor to pass on the information ( new statement). I believe my amended statement covers why I would have the markings. Can you please tell me the process and likely hood of the out come and proceedings if the charges are not dismissed. Due to the no contact protection order we have been seen to have no contact whilst he has been in remand.

 

[Leisap]

Thank you very much for your help.

NewHi Tim,
A question if could and an update, I couldn't afford a lawyer after spending all of our savings on his lawyer. After numerous attempts in trying to contact police, I felt all they wanted was my original statement and did not want to know any past information. So after a lot of thinking and research I came to the conclusion to change my statement to reflect the pictures on my neck. I changed my statement to reflect that I was self harming and I was restrained by my arm and neck. My partner went to the Supreme Court and his bail application was cancelled due to the prosecutor not having the new amendmended statement. He will now go the magistrate court (lower court) with the significant changes to evidence. How likely will it be to have the charges dropped if his statement is similar to mine? I have indirectly emailed his lawyer and been told by his lawyer that he needs to rely on the prosecutor to pass on the information ( new statement). I believe my amended statement covers why I would have the markings. Can you please tell me the process and likely hood of the outcome and proceedings if the charges are not dismissed. Due to the no contact protection order, we have been seen to have no contact whilst he has been on remand.