I don't really understand what the other side has done which makes it hard to comment.
Can you log on to the online portal and check what they have filed?
Can you log on to the online portal and check what they have filed?
QLD Missed Response Deadlines Family Law Initiating Application Parenting And Property
- Thread starter Worn down mum
- Start date
Lordy, so confusing.
So, from what I can gather, your ex tried to negotiate with you after appearing in Court and you refused to talk to him, insisting that you would only negotiate with his lawyer.
News flash: Your ex's lawyer isn't the father of your kids. You don't parent with them. You parent with your ex. What are you planning to do ten years from now when one of the kids breaks an arm? Call the lawyer who represented your ex one time once for parenting orders? They can't give consent for relocation or change of school or passports or medical interventions, only their client can.
On top of that, your ex instructs his lawyer, so why do you think you would be negotiating with the lawyer, but not your ex? The lawyer has zero authority to make agreements on his client's behalf, especially if that agreement is for consent orders by consent. All his lawyer can do is pass on proposals from your ex to you, but it's your ex who has to agree to it.
I agree with @sammy01 that you're putting yourself at risk of having a costs order made against you for being needlessly obstructive, and you're going to hurt your case in the process. You're saying the ex is difficult to negotiate with you, but I feel like this is more a situation of the pot calling the kettle black.
There is literally no better time than right now to start practicing good co-parenting. Sign yourself up for a post-separation parenting course and organise mediation with your ex.
So, from what I can gather, your ex tried to negotiate with you after appearing in Court and you refused to talk to him, insisting that you would only negotiate with his lawyer.
News flash: Your ex's lawyer isn't the father of your kids. You don't parent with them. You parent with your ex. What are you planning to do ten years from now when one of the kids breaks an arm? Call the lawyer who represented your ex one time once for parenting orders? They can't give consent for relocation or change of school or passports or medical interventions, only their client can.
On top of that, your ex instructs his lawyer, so why do you think you would be negotiating with the lawyer, but not your ex? The lawyer has zero authority to make agreements on his client's behalf, especially if that agreement is for consent orders by consent. All his lawyer can do is pass on proposals from your ex to you, but it's your ex who has to agree to it.
I agree with @sammy01 that you're putting yourself at risk of having a costs order made against you for being needlessly obstructive, and you're going to hurt your case in the process. You're saying the ex is difficult to negotiate with you, but I feel like this is more a situation of the pot calling the kettle black.
There is literally no better time than right now to start practicing good co-parenting. Sign yourself up for a post-separation parenting course and organise mediation with your ex.
Not necessarily true. Depends on the nature of the relationship and the instructions given by the lawyer's client. I believe the term 'power of attorney' did actually originate from this relationship.
Where the relationship between the principals is poor contact needs to be arranged through 3rd parties (ie lawyers) while litigation is under way, including deciding consent orders. Lawyers often prefer all contact to be through them else negotiations get complex because clients try to change the various parts of an agreement.
I found the OP's confusing as well and prefer to better understand what has really been filed before commenting.
Speaking of kettles, go put the kettle on. Make a nice cuppa then come back and keep reading.
See the nice folk here are trying to help. And we all come from our own personal experience in these things. So in my case, my ex continued to argue that I am a problem, I don't communicate, I am aggressive. I won't compromise. In short - I am the problem. Now that suited her world view - she wanted me to be responsible for the divorce, for her financial problems - Global warming, yep why not my fault.
So after having free legal aid, she still wanted to make it all about how bad I am. She lost her legal aid grant, she employed 3 different solicitors. I have no idea why 3 over a 2 yr period. I think it was because she didn't like their advice... But it all cost. It cost her money, it cost me money. The emotional toll on us both is horrific. I'm sure the 3 yrs of constant fighting has caused enough stress on me that if I die of natural causes my days will on this earth will be less because of the stress...
How is your cuppa?
Now I understand your situation is different... But is it really all that different? So before I continue. If Doc's have been involved - If there is an established history of child abuse - and when I say established I mean by someone other than you... Then ignore us all. But if that is not the case then you really want to ask yourself a few tough questions... I'll help.
The Family Law Act states kids should have a meaningful relationship with both parents. The act uses the phrase 'substantial and significant" and defines that as weekend time and mid week time. The magistrate MUST consider 50/50 where practical. So again, assuming this is about parenting time? Hard to know because you're being so cryptic... But what is wrong with dad having Friday- Monday morning and every Wednesday night? If it is practical that is what he should expect in court and the only 2 reasons that might change that are:
1 - A child under the age of 3 - but then 3-4 nights a fortnight isn't reasonable
2 - Proof of child abuse by the dad and that the child abuse was committed on these kids.
Look, this is frustrating - the nice folk here want to help. But with 4/5's of stuff all to give opinion on, you've done pretty well.
See the nice folk here are trying to help. And we all come from our own personal experience in these things. So in my case, my ex continued to argue that I am a problem, I don't communicate, I am aggressive. I won't compromise. In short - I am the problem. Now that suited her world view - she wanted me to be responsible for the divorce, for her financial problems - Global warming, yep why not my fault.
So after having free legal aid, she still wanted to make it all about how bad I am. She lost her legal aid grant, she employed 3 different solicitors. I have no idea why 3 over a 2 yr period. I think it was because she didn't like their advice... But it all cost. It cost her money, it cost me money. The emotional toll on us both is horrific. I'm sure the 3 yrs of constant fighting has caused enough stress on me that if I die of natural causes my days will on this earth will be less because of the stress...
How is your cuppa?
Now I understand your situation is different... But is it really all that different? So before I continue. If Doc's have been involved - If there is an established history of child abuse - and when I say established I mean by someone other than you... Then ignore us all. But if that is not the case then you really want to ask yourself a few tough questions... I'll help.
The Family Law Act states kids should have a meaningful relationship with both parents. The act uses the phrase 'substantial and significant" and defines that as weekend time and mid week time. The magistrate MUST consider 50/50 where practical. So again, assuming this is about parenting time? Hard to know because you're being so cryptic... But what is wrong with dad having Friday- Monday morning and every Wednesday night? If it is practical that is what he should expect in court and the only 2 reasons that might change that are:
1 - A child under the age of 3 - but then 3-4 nights a fortnight isn't reasonable
2 - Proof of child abuse by the dad and that the child abuse was committed on these kids.
Look, this is frustrating - the nice folk here want to help. But with 4/5's of stuff all to give opinion on, you've done pretty well.
Thanks for replies. I haven't read them all. Emergency opinions on what I do next. Received notification posted orders up on web portal. Two days ago. In my portal, I still have no access to what opposing party's lodged after they refused to make agreement, re fortnightly exchange and half of holidays. Dates were only needed to be agreed.
New posted orders have gone back to very close to ex original application. I do not understand how the Judge has changed his orders/mind, before posting them.
Can anyone please tell me how I can urgently appeal the orders? I was not uncooperative out of court and still offered ex more than the Judge had said in court. They walked out anyway
New posted orders have gone back to very close to ex original application. I do not understand how the Judge has changed his orders/mind, before posting them.
Can anyone please tell me how I can urgently appeal the orders? I was not uncooperative out of court and still offered ex more than the Judge had said in court. They walked out anyway
Can't help you wit the online portal, but I believe they have decent phone service and online chat service that can help with the admin stuff...
Help us out. How much time do you want the kids to spend with dad? How much time does he want. How old are the kids?
Look none of those questions alone is going to 'out' you... add or subtract a year or so from the kids ages or what ever to obscure.
Appeal? Don't do it. Self repping is one thing. But to appeal, you need the to be insane to do that as a self repper. You need to be able to establish that an error was made. It is far more likely that you mis-understood what was going on. No offence but these guys get paid the same as brain surgeons... Would you like to try brain surgery on one of your kids?
Help us out. How much time do you want the kids to spend with dad? How much time does he want. How old are the kids?
Look none of those questions alone is going to 'out' you... add or subtract a year or so from the kids ages or what ever to obscure.
Appeal? Don't do it. Self repping is one thing. But to appeal, you need the to be insane to do that as a self repper. You need to be able to establish that an error was made. It is far more likely that you mis-understood what was going on. No offence but these guys get paid the same as brain surgeons... Would you like to try brain surgery on one of your kids?
Hi All,
Sorry for the confusion. I'm just really trying to be incognito.
Ok, kids are in early years of State School. 50/50 arrangement sorted by ex. Except, used allegations to get through to FCCA, only wanted power over school choice.
Ex has severe medical conditions which has the kids at other relatives house for the 50% they are with ex, in which kids this is one of the lies kids are trained to say. I had 3 other people in court supporting me and did not mishear. I wrote every word as Judge said it.
Ex's legal rep, after trying to negotiate the interim orders they presented and I kept referring to the fact they were thrown out and we were outside, to simply pick fortnightly date for ex access, after 15mins walked out. I received a letter stating they had lodged documents to Judge to say I was uncooperative, I offered more time and was not.
I have watched for lodged documents from 1st court date and nothing came up. 2 days ago, orders were posted to my file, which the Judge had backflipped, I believe because of whatever documents ex lodged.
I was not uncooperative, I offered more time and was confused as to why after everything detail was sorted, ex legal rep came back to me and said they were leaving. Can I lodge documents that support my statements that I was flexible, offered more time (can be shown thru text comms with ex) and disprove many points on ex affidavits that the Judge might have referred back to, as he has made a complete backflip?
As it stands now, I will never get our kids for a weekend and as I am not disabled, I have just returned to study and work and being nothing more than a person who makes lunches and does all school events I only get 3 nights per week now. Absolute backflip from Judge.
Is there anything I can do to counter whatever rubbish they lodged?
Sorry for the confusion. I'm just really trying to be incognito.
Ok, kids are in early years of State School. 50/50 arrangement sorted by ex. Except, used allegations to get through to FCCA, only wanted power over school choice.
Ex has severe medical conditions which has the kids at other relatives house for the 50% they are with ex, in which kids this is one of the lies kids are trained to say. I had 3 other people in court supporting me and did not mishear. I wrote every word as Judge said it.
Ex's legal rep, after trying to negotiate the interim orders they presented and I kept referring to the fact they were thrown out and we were outside, to simply pick fortnightly date for ex access, after 15mins walked out. I received a letter stating they had lodged documents to Judge to say I was uncooperative, I offered more time and was not.
I have watched for lodged documents from 1st court date and nothing came up. 2 days ago, orders were posted to my file, which the Judge had backflipped, I believe because of whatever documents ex lodged.
I was not uncooperative, I offered more time and was confused as to why after everything detail was sorted, ex legal rep came back to me and said they were leaving. Can I lodge documents that support my statements that I was flexible, offered more time (can be shown thru text comms with ex) and disprove many points on ex affidavits that the Judge might have referred back to, as he has made a complete backflip?
As it stands now, I will never get our kids for a weekend and as I am not disabled, I have just returned to study and work and being nothing more than a person who makes lunches and does all school events I only get 3 nights per week now. Absolute backflip from Judge.
Is there anything I can do to counter whatever rubbish they lodged?
I don't know you but I do know one thing. If you come across in court as confused, all over the place and conflict causing by not wanting to deal with the ex like you do on here. If your paperwork is riddled with basic spelling errors and is erratic like on here, and if you are soapboxing emotional stuff that has no grounding in law like you are on here then you are in big trouble in your case and I am not surprised things are not going your way...
You need to focus and get your stuff together.
It is impossible to keep up with what you are saying or trying to say. And I'm sorry, but what has made me bail is you actually wrote you have not read all the replies in this thread. People are/were trying to help you, how can you skip certain posts to only read others?
Good luck
You need to focus and get your stuff together.
It is impossible to keep up with what you are saying or trying to say. And I'm sorry, but what has made me bail is you actually wrote you have not read all the replies in this thread. People are/were trying to help you, how can you skip certain posts to only read others?
Good luck
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