SA mediation before or after separation?

[Bi Young]

I am considering divorce. I have been sharing my bank account with my wife for the last 3 years. Recently, I stopped sharing the bank account, but she still can use my credit card for living expenses. Then, she asks for me to leave the house (that we jointly own). Otherwise, she threatens that she will leave by herself. Then, I need to raise my kids by myself. She said she would mediate after separation.

1. Would it be ok to mediate after separation in this situation?
2. As we will separate and ultimately divorce, should I now stop the credit card (that my wife uses) until the separation agreement is settled?

It will be really appreciated if I can get some legal advice. Also, should I prepare any other things before this (hard) separation process?

 

[Atticus]

she asks for me to leave the house (that we jointly own). Otherwise, she threatens that she will leave by herself.

Another option that works for some separating couples is to continue to live under the same roof while separated... This means you have discussed separation & agree that you are separated even though you continue to live under the same roof ... Separate bedrooms, no longer interact as a family together, separate finances as much as possible etc.

Whilst separated under one roof, you can attend mediation to agree on how you will divide property and share the care of children when you do finally separate into different housing. Doing this will save the cost of renting until a settlement is agreed upon.

As we will separate and ultimately divorce, should I now stop the credit card (that my wife uses) until the separation agreement is settled?

Does she have her own income? ... You need to be careful that you are not creating financial difficulty for her & the kids by unreasonably withholding money ... Not only morally wrong but also may see you accused of causing financial abuse.

should I prepare any other things before this (hard) separation process?

Some useful tips on things to prepare & consider here >>> Divorce and separation financial checklist - Moneysmart.gov.au

 

[Bi Young]

Another option that works for some separating couples is to continue to live under the same roof while separated... This means you have discussed separation & agree that you are separated even though you continue to live under the same roof ... Separate bedrooms, no longer interact as a family together, separate finances as much as possible etc.

Whilst separated under one roof, you can attend mediation to agree on how you will divide property and share the care of children when you do finally separate into different housing. Doing this will save the cost of renting until a settlement is agreed upon.

Does she have her own income? ... You need to be careful that you are not creating financial difficulty for her & the kids by unreasonably withholding money ... Not only morally wrong but also may see you accused of causing financial abuse.

Some useful tips on things to prepare & consider here >>> Divorce and separation financial checklist - Moneysmart.gov.au

Many thanks for your helpful advice!

In more detail, my wife said 'I will leave by myself, and you will have to care the kids 100%'. That is why I would want to stop the card because it can be out of control if she leaves. Anyway, I also told her I would transfer money (living cost or spouse maintenance) to her so that she can spend for what she needs. Is this still financial abuse?

By the way, if she really neglects kids (as she said), can I claim child support payment from her?

 

[Atticus]

if she really neglects kids (as she said), can I claim child support payment from her?

Leaving the kids with you doe's not constitute neglect ... Child support is calculated using a formula that takes into account the income of each parent, & the percentage of care each has.

You can use these on line calculators as a guide >>> Online estimators - Services Australia

 

[Bi Young]

Thanks!