QLD Legal Aid Representation for Uncooperative Mothers?

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi Sammy,

Yes my partner did wonder if she was trying to diagnose him for the money. I had to Google this to find out if it was true as I had no idea you could get more money from having a child diagnosed as being autistic. From talking to friends it is generally fairly hard to diagnose a child as autistic on the gold coast. The child has to be seen on a good few occasions. I think the fact the mother isn't responding when my partner has requested the practitioner who has diagnosed shows it's another one of her games for court.

We are going to do just that. Express our concerns at the family report, state we honestly want what is best for the child. And let her lies keep rolling. My partner has nothing to hide, and after 3 months of no contact again, the only way in our eyes is up from here

 

[AllForHer]

So, the reason she wouldn't have filed her affidavit on the court date is because the duty lawyer would have told her it was much too late to do so. An affidavit filed that late is basically a guaranteed adjournment with no further movement on interim orders.

Look, hopefully the ex is taking this more seriously now that she's been in front of the judge and realised your partner means business. Legal advice will likely give her some much-needed clarity about the situation, so hopefully she either gets Legal Aid or commissions a lawyer and you can start communicating with a hopefully more reasonable party.

Wait until she has filed an affidavit before doing anything further. I'm glad you took on board the suggestion to take a more positive approach, but it's important that you maintain momentum on that. I know you want to dispute every little detail in her affidavit, but there is an awful lot of stuff that tends to feel important to the parties, but doesn't mean a thing in the greater scheme of things. Keep some perspective on what your goal is here.

 

[Migz]

Filling in a Subpoena:

1. Righto download the PDF subpoena file for the Federal Circuit Court.

2. Next you'll have to ring up the doctors surgery, where you suspect the child has been attending and find out who the Operations Manager is. You will need this persons name. That name goes into the first line of the Subpoena, next line down enter the Doctors surgery's

3. Tick the box "Produce Documents to the court".

4. Leave date and registrar blank.

5. Fill in the bottom of the page with your name and address or that of your solicitors.

6. Leave all of Page 2 Blank.

7. Page 3, fill in each line with specific information that you want. ie. Please produce a list of days xxxx attended your practice, please produce all of the scripts written for xxxx, please produce any referral documents you gave xxxx, please produce all of the records you have on file along with session notes relating to xxxx dating back to Jan 2013 for example.

8. Pages 4, 5, 6 leave blank

9. Post 4 copies to the Subpoena Team in Brissy Registry: BRISBANE, Gpo Box 9991, Brisbane, QLD, 4001, along with a cheque or money order for $55. Or credit card form is below, download that, and fill it out and post off with your paperwork.

http://www.federalcircuitcourt.gov....-74b7c99d-c2a7-4a98-bded-d51e4cf2b0c4-lGCFV2j


Wait for the paperwork to be red stamped and posted back to you, then you must serve it on the doctors surgery via "special service", include your cheque or money order for $25.00 and send off.

Cheers

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi AllForHer,

We intend to do everything we can to look as good as possible to the judge. We will most likely be seeking advice on any future moves on here if everyone doesn't mind, as we both feel the advice is better on here than my partners lawyer -who we are going to ditch I think.

I don't think the ex has sought any advice as of yet. At change-over she handed a copy of the DVO against my partners mother to my partner (i was out of the way in the car) and had highlighted all areas that related to his mother. She also informed my partner that she had hired a private investigator to follow him and wanted him to know. We really are concerned as the mother's behaviour is just so so bizarre! She is also bringing a bikie related gentleman to the court and to the change over, I believe this is to intimidate my partner but it just seems so silly to us.

Fingers crossed she gets a lawyer soon that we can talk to. I can't imagine the accusations she is going to include in her affidavit otherwise.

In regards to the subpoena about the child's medical records, thank you! But the mother visits several doctors all over the gold coast and we wouldn't know which one she has been attending of recent. We are going to wait until her affidavit has been filed and then request the child's documents from medicare them self. We are hoping that my partner, as a parent of the child, should have access to them.

 

[sammy01]

She isn't gonna hire a private investigator... She is just playing stupid games... Why would you tell someone you were having them followed? Surely, the point is to catch them out...

Don't bother chasing your tail looking for medical records of the child. She will have to establish that 1- the child has a medical condition and 2 more importantly - that the medical condition means the child should be kept away from dad.... Good luck with that one.

Until she has a solicitor I reckon you don't need one... And possibly not even then...

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi Sammy, oh we had a good laugh about the private investigator statement, we know she's bluffing. It's more bizarre that she thinks we would believe that, and even worse that she thinks we would be silly enough to take the child to the grandmas and go against a judges orders.

If you heard half of the comments shes made to my partner you would be in disbelief. She was cutting my partners phone calls off every time he would say he loves or misses his son, saying it was emotional abuse to a child. We have begged her to seek legal advise the whole time, but shes listening to her mother's advice instead it seems.

Ah, so you think just denying that the child has a disorder or has ever been diagnosed is all my partner needs to do? We will hold tight either way until we get a copy of her affidavit or hear from her lawyer.

 

[AllForHer]

Don't deny the child's potential medical condition. Parents have been criticised by the Court for that before. What your partner should do is express that he's unaware of any such diagnosis, but if the child does have a condition, he will ensure he consults with the mother about it and follow the advice of medical practitioners in treating the condition.

Also, I did laugh at the private investigator comment. The lengths some people will go to is astonishing, but brush it off. I don't think evidence from a PI is admissible in Court anyway.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hello, me again. We have finally received an affidavit to my partners court application this week so thought it was time to gather some advise. These past few months the mother of the child has gone from bad to worse, so we we're expecting an affidavit full of lies, but even we are surprised at how far she has gone. I honestly don't think there's one honest thing in her 20 page affidavit. She has also supplied 'evidence' that we believe to have been tampered with.

In regards to the autisms claims, she is now claiming the child also has coeliac disease and dyshodrotic eczema. These are all new to my partner and with each diagnose he has requested who the diagnosing dr is and what test have been used to diagnose the child and she has refused to reply. A massive part of her affidavit states that the child is at risk due to my partner denying and ignoring these diagnoses for the past two years. She also included a notice of risk in her affidavit. We are going to request to the social worker at the family report plus the judge that the mother supply evidence of the diagnoses and state our concern that the child does not show symptoms in our care and until now we have never been informed. The mother also put an application into child support for more money for the child due to the diagnoses the week before our first court date in December stating the child was diagnosed coeliac and autistic. As evidence she supplied a referral to see a specialist (common sense states a referral is not a diagnoses).

You might remember that in the last court case she lied to the judge and told him my partner did not pay child support. Well she obviously realised that can be easily proven, so now she's trying to say that my partner used to with hold money from her that has caused her and the child significant hardship and has labeled it as financial abuse. Luckily my partner goes through child support and they have confirmed that this couldn't be possible. She received a monthly payment and any money that is owing from my partner would be owed to child support. My partner has never missed a single payment as it comes straight out of his pay. The mother has since cancelled the child support agreement stating she closed it due to financial hardship and was sick of chasing the money. That alone doesn't make sense to me. My partner has applied to pay child support for the child but the mother has denied the claim. The mother has included a 'letter from child support' as evidence that looks suspiciously not from child support. Child support have requested that we send the letter in so they can confirm whether it is legitimate on not. The letter is titled 'discharge of arrears' and states child support have accepted the mother's request to stop collecting any outstanding child support on her behalf' an amount of over $2400. My partner never owed this money and we know child support would be chasing the money if he did as it would belong to them so this letter just seems silly, plus it doesn't have the child support or government logos that every other letter from them has.

The mother's whole affidavit is totally and completely drenched in drug claims. She is totally obsessed. My partner is going to request random drug testing along with supplying the 4 clean drug test he will have my March in order to finally stop these accusations. Some of the stories sound, well just like stories. So hopefully the judge will see through that.

One story that has upset my partner however is one where she is stating the child fractured his skull due to my partners negligence and drug use. Now the child did fracture his skull, but it was while in the mother's care. The mother had left the child in friends care (17 year olds) and gone out while my partner was at work. When my partner noticed the mark on his head she claimed nothing had happened. 2 days later my partner took the child to A & E to find out that he had a fractured skull and this is when the mother admitted something had happened. Fortunately, child services stepped in and carried out an investigation before the child could go home. My partner was questioned and once they discovered he had been at work at the time, the investigation continued with the mother. We have already spoke to the hospital to try and get evidence of this, however they forwarded us onto DOCS as they cannot access investigations. DOCS have informed us we need to subpoena the evidence.

My partner has already subpoenaed the mother's medical history since the child's birth from Medicare as he was concerned about her ongoing prescription drug use. During the first court date the mother told the judge that my partner was accusing herself of abusing prescription medication. After she left the court room, our lawyer informed us that the judge ordered his writer to go through her medical records and list the mother's medications. It turns out she has regularly been prescribed Oxycontin, i believe it was 14 packets from memory in 3 years. Now we understand there are situation that require a person to take such drugs but from our understanding the mother has never been diagnosed with any illness. The doctor's from our understanding can never find anything wrong with her even though she complains of constant pain. My partner's mother had spoken with the mother on many occasions about taking this medication around the child and set up a referral for the mother to see a pain specialist. My partners mum has stated when the mother lived with her earlier this year, the mother was taking the medication around the child regularly. Her medication list also shows through 2017 she was prescribed panadol. I know I don't go to see my GP for panadol so we feel this is because the doctor has refused a stronger medication. We also think she is doctor shopping.

The mother is still stating that my partner has never had a relationship with his son. Upon advise from this forum I went through the text evidence and listed the pickup date, drop off date, how many nights in a row the child was in our care, and how many nights that fortnight the child was in our care. In less than 18 months we had the child for 123 nights. There have been many occasions where the mother has requested we care for the child; she's too sick, her grandfather is dying, she wants to go camping, every public holiday etc. So we plan to affidavit that for the courts. All of this is in text evidence to so we are thinking of supplying a couple of them as evidence?

In regards to her supposed parental order. She has requested that the child reside solely with the mother and the mother have sole parental responsibility. The father must complete hair follicule testing in order to see the child, costs met by the father. And then basically that the father shall not consume illegal drugs or excessive amount of alcohol. She also threw in that my partners mother should not spend time with the child due to the DVO. The curt case hasn't even happened yet and is scheduled for later this month. Her lawyer has laughed at the evidence supplied and said there is no way a judge will stop the grandmother from spending time with the child, she may just get a 'be of good behavior to the mother' order as its better to do that than to not in the eyes of the courts.. Other than that there isn't anything about shared times over holidays or anything, it's all about drug use.

Could anyone advise what kind of evidence we should supply before court? My partner did not supply any evidence with his application and affidavit. The mother has already supplied 23 items of evidence with hers (all a bunch of rubbish to be honest though). as well as an affidavit from a family friend full of lies stating how bad my partners drug use is (sounds so fake when you read it too, thankfully).We understand it's on the mother to prove these allegations, but her whole affidavit is a lie so we feel showing clear evidence of some of the lies will be beneficial for my partner's next hearing.

So far we are thinking of supplying:

- character reference from his company who he has worked with since school, has completed his apprenticeship with and also a cert 4 in building, has been employed with for 8 years and now works in a management position in the construction industry (we feel that alone could help prove my partner is not a heavy drug user)

- child care statement of amount my partner has paid to the mother

- child care letter stating the mother has refused to accept child care after my partner applied to

- list of dates/days the child has been in my partners care

- if Child Support confirm the mother's child support letter is fake then the letter stating this

- the mother has denied staying in an abusive relationship so we're thinking of supplying the message she sent my partner's mother and my partner asking for support with the child and to move in with my partners mother as she had nowhere else to go and the child was in danger.

- and then the DOCS subpoena

We know the judge will most likely not look over any of this in court. But he has given the social worker leave to inspect subpoenered documents and feel the evidence will help with the family report so we can express our concerns over the mother's lying and lack of psychological standing around the child.

Sorry for the length of the post. Constructive criticism is encouraged. I'm sure there are many mother's out there that are just as bad and calculated if not worse, but it would be nice to know what has worked for people in the past to show the judge you are a decent person who wants to support your child.

 

[AllForHer]

So, first, you need to file a reply to the response.

Don't use a character reference. You don't need to convince the Court that dad is a good parent. Provided he doesn't pose an unacceptable risk of harm to the kid, the Court doesn't care what kind parent he is - the kid has a right to a meaningful relationship with him either way, so don't get caught up in trying to show the Court what a good person your partner is, it's just a pointless exercise.

I think the child care statement is a good idea, but unlike her argument, make sure the statement you provide is complete with the government logos. Call Child Support and get them to send a statement for all payments made since the first assessment was made. Child support is, after all, a component of s 60CC.

Ignoring the fact that mum's assertion about a lack of relationship is speculation, not fact, even telling the Court that says more about her as a parent than it does about the child's relationship with dad. If the child has no relationship with dad, what is mum doing to try and fix that for the kid? Make it better by facilitating more time and encouraging the kid, or make it worse by seeking sole parental responsibility and minimise dad's time to nothing? If you've already told the Court that the kid has spent plenty of time with the father, let the Court make up its mind about mum's attitude toward the child's relationship with dad. If you feel like you must say something, though, just say that the child has a very loving relationship with the father, and say what the pattern of care was. I mean, wasn't dad paying child support? Their assessments state what the percentage of care was, so...

Don't get a letter from CSA about the mother's letter being false. Just provide your evidence about child support being paid with the statement mentioned earlier.

Re: the abusive boyfriend, are they still together or living together?

The fractured skull thing does need to be addressed. Your partner needs to very clearly state what occurred - 'On [date], I left X at home in the care of the mother while I went to work at [place of employment]. At approximately [time], I arrived home. I noticed that X had a [bruise, scratch, red mark, graze, etc.] on the left side of his head, above his eyebrow (or whatever). The mother stated at the time that she did not know what had caused the mark. On [date], I took the child to [hospital/doctor/etc] after noticing [symptoms]. Dr [name] of [hospital] advised X had fractured his skull and it is my understanding that a report was made to the Department of Child Services.' Explain what happened leading up to the investigation, and if you wish, you can subpoena DOCS for the evidence. I would, personally, because this may well fall under the category of risk of harm.

Regarding the grandmother, again, don't spend too much time focused on this. You can tell the Court about the incident, but like her lawyer said, it probably won't result in an injunction against the grandmother, just for a DVO.

I also don't know about submitting mum's medical record. Does it coincide with the fractured skull incident?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi AllForHer, thank you for your response!

The character reference was also to squash the drug claims. She is alleging that my partner heavily takes every drug under the sun. I feel the fact he has held down a full time job for 8 years with the same company would be good evidence that he is not in fact heavily addicted to drugs. The mother has included the two certificate she has obtained (work safely in the construction industry, surface extraction operations) as evidence of her character I think... but I feel she has done this as a copy cat of my partner's mother's affidavit against the DVO. Maybe in criminal court it's more appropriate to prove your character?

The statement we have received from child support is fairly long but we do think it is a good idea. It also shows that my partner was refunded money after the mother closed the account. It does not however show the percentage of care as this is a statement of every payment made. Perhaps my partner should also add in one assessment from child support of the percentage of care also.

Regarding the thought to be dodgy child support letter. We thought showing it is fake (if it is) would be good evidence for the court of how far the mother is willing to go to not only lie to the courts (like she already has stating the father doesn't pay child support) but also the lengths she would go to make the father look abusive (financial abuse). She has even gone to Centrelink and had a social worker write a letter to the courts asking for a concession for her court fees as she is a victim of domestic violence stating she is a victim to verbal, emotional, financial abuse and controlling behaviors. A fraudulent letter from child support I thought would be taken quite serious by the courts.

I get where you are going with the child's relationship with the father. The mother genuinely doesn't believe that the child should have a relationship with the father, so maybe we let her push that in court and see how the judge feels about it. I knew as soon as I read her proposed orders that the judge would not be happy about her asking for full custody and full responsibility.

Regarding the abusive boyfriend, I do not believe they are still together.. I think he actually left her. I will add though that since the last court case, the mother is now facilitating time between the child and my partner's father. My partner is estranged from his father and his father has been found to be abusive by the family court and DOCS to my partner and his brother as children, and my partner's mother. My partner is extremely concerned about this new relationship, yet the mother is stating in her affidavit that the child and grandfather have always had a relationship, the child and grandfather have never had a relationship until now. I feel she is trying to prove she is willing to facilitate a relationship between the child and family but just not with people who pose a risk. The mother is fully aware of the abuse and what happened to my partner as a child. She actually sought out the grandfather so he could write a character reference about my partner's mother for the DVO case. As you can imagine, this has caused my partner's family a fair bit of stress and pain. My partner plans to speak to the social worker about this and request to the courts that an order is put in to keep the child from the grandfather.

Yes we do feel that the fracture needs to be addressed too. We are going to subpoena all of the child's DOCS records as we are fairly certain that the mother was investigated again when she was living in a drug den a few years ago after my partner broke up with her. My partner's mother made the complaint as she had gone around one day to check up on the mother and the child and when she got there the mother wasn't home and she found the child asleep on a bed that was heavily stained with no sheets and nothing else in the room. There were a couple of 17 year olds in the lounge room that she had never seen before and the house was covered in rubbish. After her call the house was seen to be cleaned from the outside within a week. Two weeks later the mother also moved home.

Yes we are not too concerned with the DVO against the grandmother. If you could read the affidavit it is a joke, and the evidence even worse (she has literally laid the clothes she was wearing out on the floor and taken a photo and called it evidence..?)

Yes the mother was being prescribed oxycontin around the time of the fractured skull. She was prescribed 5 packets of the drug that year and the incident occurred in September. She has stated in her affidavit that she never took these drugs too.. I'm presuming she did not receive the paperwork that our lawyer sent onto us from the court writer that listed the medication and years she was prescribed. She is also alleging that she has been prescribed these drugs due to her coeliac disease and endometriosis. I know many people with these illnesses, yet none have ever been prescribed these drugs. We want the courts to be aware of all of her hospital visits and pain claims that have never been explained. We feel the issue is psychological or being exaggerated and therefore her problem is ongoing and posing a risk to her capacity to parent if she is going to take these drugs long term. I honestly feel that the 4 years she has already been prescribed these drugs has affected her capacity to parent. The child is 4 and she has neglected to get him proper health care or toilet train him until she was aware that my partner was going to take her to court.

In regards to the response we will file. The mother has refuted most of my partner's affidavit. We were extremely careful to only put things into the affidavit that can be proven.. so basically we have text evidence of everything she has refuted. Are we supposed to include evidence of all things she refutes? Or are you best to provide evidence to the more important ones?

Also how would be the best way to write a reply to each point? For example, if she has said 'in response to paragraph 5 and 6 i disagree' does the reply go: 'in response to the mother's paragraph 70, regarding my paragraph 5 and 6 please see annexure A'? Or is there a better way to word it.

Any help appreciated!!