QLD Legal Aid Representation for Uncooperative Mothers?

[JadeGoldCoast]

Ok so it sounds like we are completely off track - thank god for this forum!

I understand your point Sammy - thanks. Maybe we are best to just amend the order's to try and make life easier? Mother is to inform father of appointments when booked or to ask specialist to contact father?

We downloaded and shared with the mother a parenting app upon reading advice throughout this forum of how it had helped people with communication - mother wasn't interested and stated 'it looked like s**t' and that as it was not an Australian based app the courts wouldn't accept it? Our ideal is for communication to be as simple and smooth as possible.

Thanks AllForHer - I get your point in not having to praise the mother for following orders. What is best to include in an affidavit about the relationship between the father and child? How the child has been requesting more time with the father and continuing to get upset at changeover as reported in the short family report? That he was happy to stay over?

We want to continue to request more time with the child so want to address the positives of the child being able to spend more time with the father.

 

[AllForHer]

I think you’re doing very well, actually. It seems so far that your matter is going very much in your favour.

Did the report writer make any recommendations for how to cope with the difficult changeovers?

For example, making changeovers occur at school or day care, rather than in person?

It might be a lead in to asking for time from Friday to Monday. More support for that would be the benefit to the child of having Dad involved in the before and after school routines.

 

[sammy01]

Yep - I reckon you guys are doing your best. Hard work because our instinct is to fight back when we know we can prove someone is lying and you'd think that is what courts are all about... No legal advice here... Just experience...

I decided to give up on trying to get the ex to tell me about sick kids, school or phone calls. Back in the day before Facetime, I had a phone call twice a week... At 6pm. It was just a joke to her.. I call at 5.59 OR 6.01, I'd get a text message telling me that she would take me to court for failing to follow the orders - I was harassing her by not calling at the right time... FFS...

It caused me no end of grief and she thought it was a great laugh... So I decided as long as she was there to drop off the kids for my time with them, I'd let the other stuff go.... Of course as soon as I stopped trying to do phone calls, I got a text message rant about how I'd disappointed the kids.

Short story - Only one thing really matters... Getting to see the kids according to the orders.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Unfortunately the report writer did not offer any advice, other than requesting and suggesting that the child would benefit from returning to his regular routine of fortnightly visits as he was showing clear distress at having to leave his father and was requesting to spend more time with him and stay at his house. She did suggest a full report to address the shared care due to the autism diagnosis.

We feel a full report would go in our favour too, it seems the longer the child is kept from staying with us the more he wants to see us both. The child doesn't start school until next year and the mother is still refusing child care at present, but the father has made it clear that it is his wishes for the child to attend some form of child care as a bridge to starting full time school next year.

Sammy your ex sounds a lot like this mother. Calling 2 minutes past a organised phone call resulted in the phone call being rejected and messages of how sad the child was. Fortunately the judge approved our requested order that the father can call between 6-6.30pm to avoid this issue and it has really helped! It's just a game to them so we are trying to learn to take that power away by not reacting to her games.. sometimes easier said than done though.

Quick question: if an affidavit is uploaded through the court portal, does a affidavit need to be posted to the mother and ICL? And also an affidavit of service need to be completed for both? Or because they both have access to the portal do we not have to bother? The first and second affidavit were processed through the court so just want to make sure we are doing this right.

The mother has been insinuating the clean drug results are fake (yet again) as the father's GP copy of the results was not on QML letter head. QML have now printed a copy on their letterhead and has been sent to the mother - so fingers crossed again for this weekend!

 

[thatbloke]

Quick question: if an affidavit is uploaded through the court portal, does a affidavit need to be posted to the mother and ICL? And also an affidavit of service need to be completed for both? Or because they both have access to the portal do we not have to bother? The first and second affidavit were processed through the court so just want to make sure we are doing this right.

You still have to serve and file a notice of service. You can serve by email, post or in person. You can download the sealed PDF from the portal and just use that to serve. Uploading onto the portal is not service

 

[AllForHer]

You must serve the other party with the new documents, but if she's provided an e-mail address for service, it's as simple as forwarding the documents to her as attachments, with an e-mail that reads: Please find attached by way of service the following the documents: 1. Application in a case dated X; 2. Affidavit of Dad dated Y.

You don't have to carry out special service when there are already proceedings on foot.

Curious, is the overnight time conditional on dad adhering to the order about the drug test? Is it at all conditional on mum accepting it? If mum refuses the overnight time because she's not satisfied with the outcome of the drug test, that would a contravention of the orders. Dad's drug test doesn't have to satisfy mum; it has to satisfy the Court, correct?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Thanks for the advice regarding the affidavit.

The mother has finally agreed to let the child stay over this weekend - we are over the moon! And yes the judge made himself extremely clear to the mother that once this drug test was uploaded she must hand over the child - made her say she understood and all... but if the mother thinks she can get away with something she will try it. But we don't even care right now, we are so happy we don't have to tell the child he's not able to stay over finally

 

[Lennon]

That is awesome!!

 

[AllForHer]

Great to hear!

 

[Complex16]

Such good news...