QLD How do I make our agreement before marriage legal binding?

[Felix]

Hi all,

My partner and I are thinking about getting married soon. I have a history of depression, as well as self-harming and suicide intent. I now believe my condition is a lot better than before and I am ready to get into marriage with my partner. My partner is also willing to take the risk and give the marriage a go.

However, we both think it would be better if she could have a peace of mind. We agree that after we get married, if my condition gets much worse and I start to self-harm or be suicidal again, my partner would have the right to get a divorce without other grounds. If the reason of divorce is caused by my self-harming or my suicide intent, my partner would have the right to have 50%-70% of the assets that we acquire after the marriage, regardless of the contribution.

I assume this is not quite like a binding financial agreement, as this is not about bringing our current properties (we barely have any at the moment) into the marriage and how to divide them after the breakdown of the relationship. I am wondering whether there is a way to make this agreement legal binding, or at least be the evidence that could be presented to the court and would have certain effects on the decision made by the court.

Thank you very much indeed. Looking forward to hearing from you.


Regards,

Felix

 

[AllForHer]

That is an outrageous agreement and as unromantic as it is, the last thing you're going to need while juggling self-harm and depression is the prospect of walking away from a divorce with near on nothing. Do you think that's going to help alleviate your mental health difficulties?

If your partner won't support you during those times, don't get married. It's just plain stupid to sacrifice 70% of your assets on the off-chance you might never experience depression again.

 

[Felix]

That is an outrageous agreement and as unromantic as it is, the last thing you're going to need while juggling self-harm and depression is the prospect of walking away from a divorce with near on nothing. Do you think that's going to help alleviate your mental health difficulties?

If your partner won't support you during those times, don't get married. It's just plain stupid to sacrifice 70% of your assets on the off-chance you might never experience depression again.

Thank you very much for your reply.

She said yes when I barely had anything and would like to go through the hardship that we may encounter as we are soon to be new graduates. The wedding was postponed because my depression was out of control due to some uncommon and extreme stress. She was very scared every time I tried to hurt myself, which I believe has brought her a lot of pain and fear. She didn't choose to leave me. I picked up the courage to get on treatment and the wedding being postponed (or called off) made me realise struggling with all that (the extreme and uncommon stress I mentioned above) is pointless, as that was in the past and we are not able to change anything about it.

I believe I could cope with my depression well now but she is still suffering from the fear that I brought her. I just want her to have insurance for something that's very unlikely but haunts her. I shall insist doing so.

Back to the topic, could you please give me some advice regarding this matter? I don't suppose a binding financial agreement would be suitable for our case. Getting a binding financial agreement costs a lot, too. Any advice? Thank you very much indeed.


Regards,

Felix

 

[AllForHer]

I have some misgivings about whether or not any such agreement would satisfy the 'just and equitable' component of property settlement in the event of divorce, so you need to get legal advice about this.

Marriage is a matter for the heart at home, but in law, it is as every bit as sterile as any other legal contract.

 

[Clancy]

In very basic terms a prenuptial agreement in Australia carries some good weight in a legal sense but is not absolute. The court still has the power to overrule it if they think it is necessary.

On a more personal level, if you want the marriage to work then you need to make sure you both arm yourselves with the right knowledge and ONGOING support mechanisms to properly manage your mental illness.
Mental illness is not so scary to loved ones if they have already learnt before hand what they need to do/who they need to call when things happen.

 

[Lennon]

We agree that after we get married, if my condition gets much worse and I start to self-harm or be suicidal again, my partner would have the right to get a divorce without other grounds.

You don't need an agreement about this. Anyone in Australia can get divorced without any grounds. It's called no-fault divorce and has been the law since 1975.

If the reason of divorce is caused by my self-harming or my suicide intent, my partner would have the right to have 50%-70% of the assets that we acquire after the marriage, regardless of the contribution.

This sounds fun. Imagine the joy you will both have proving whether it was your self-harming that caused the divorce, or whether it was because you wouldn't do the dishes without being asked, or whether it was actually because you thought she spent too much time gaming.

This kind of post-marriage-break-up analysis is precisely the kind of rubbish that parliament was trying to avoid by introducing no-fault divorce.

I don't understand why you have (pointlessly) agreed that she can have a divorce without "grounds" if you self-harm, but that you then need to determine the grounds for the divorce anyway (in order to decide whether she automatically gets 50% to 70% of your joint assets).

How old are you both?

 

[Migz]

Felix I have no legal advice for you, but I am intregued about your personal situation, mainly your depression as it is something that I have researched quite alot. I would like to know from you how often throughout a standard day do you get your heart rate up over 150 beats per minute? In all honestly I'd say never. You sound like a person short on time being a grad student, and I would really encourage you to study "HIIT" and have a go at it.