QLD Family Law - Father Not on Birth Certificate but Paternity is Confirmed?

[KC3582]

I have a one-year-old son and his father is not on the birth certificate as he refused to sign. We did a legal DNA test when he was 6 weeks old which established paternity and I began receiving child support (he quit his job 2 weeks before I gave birth so only pays the bare minimum).

He spent 90 minutes visiting our son when he was 2 months old, supervised by me. Since then he has refused to visit his son and communicate with me, refused to supply medical information requested by a doctor then a specialist when there were concerns for my son's health. He confirmed last month he had no intention of being part of our child's life. I have consistently tried to include him, sent updates, photos, videos etc., as I knew regardless of our personal issues our child had the right to have a relationship with both his parents.

I offered to go to mediation and work out a parenting plan but his response was no. We were never in a serious relationship and when I found out I was pregnant decided it is best we work on establishing a good co-parenting relationship as we both agreed neither saw a romantic long-term future with the other.

He was adamant I get an abortion and I obviously refused which soured things considerably on his behalf. His reason for not being part of his child's life is his new partner is not comfortable with the situation and does not want any part of it. My question is if he is not on the birth certificate but paternity has been established, does he have legal rights under Family Law? If he changes his mind in a few years can he force me to allow visitation? If he can come and go as he pleases is there any way for me to gain sole legal and physical custody of children without having to add him to the birth certificate?

I am asking this as I have done everything in my power to give my son a chance to know his father over the last 12 months and nothing has worked, so moving forwards I'd like to give my child security and stability and not have issues years down the track of his father trying to enter his life without consideration and dragging me through family court demanding rights when he has point blank refused to be in his life now, and depending on our future situation may be emotionally damaging to my son. He would attempt to be part of his life if he was single which means if his current relationship fails I am worried he will begin the pattern of in and out of my son's life depending on if he's single or not, which is what I do not want.

 

[AllForHer]

Have you approached the father about signing a consent order that simply grants you sole parental responsibility and time between father and child as agreed between the parties? You don't even need a lawyer for it, you can write it up yourself:

The parties agree by consent:

1. That the mother has sole parental responsibility for the child John Doe born 1 January 2015;
2. That the child spends time with the father at times as agreed between the parties.

Having sole parental responsibility means you won't need his consent for things like major medical decisions, passports, name changes, etc, and if he wants no part of the child's life, he should have no issue signing a consent order as such.

 

[KC3582]

Thank you for the help. I have filled out the consent order now and emailed it off to see if he is willing to sign.

He's always refused to sign anything including the birth certificate and rarely communicates with me. I did not hear from him for 6 months until he finally confirmed he would not be a part of our sons life now or in the future.

I did speak to a lawyer when I first had my son, they advised that no parenting plans could be done until he was on the birth certificate so even if he does sign this consent order will it be accepted by the courts if he's not on the birth cert?

Is there any abandonment laws that protect both my child and myself from him being able to disrupt our lives in the future? I know I shouldn't stress on this as he likelihood of him approaching us is minimal for at least a few years, but I find it grossly unfair that from the research I've done he can basically do as he pleases and if I refuse him access at any stage.

I am the parent in the wrong and accused of alienation even though I fought hard for 12 months to encourage him to have a role in our sons life and he made the decision to not be part of his life originally, it seems if he changes his mind I have to readjust my life and my son's and make room for him regardless if I think it's best or not or how many years have passed.

 

[AllForHer]

Australia doesn't have any abandonment laws like some states in the USA have, but having sole parental responsibility is fundamentally the Australian version - you don't need to consult with the father about major decisions, except for adoption.

If the father wishes to participate in the child's life a few years down the track, it is probably a good idea to remain open to the prospect, simply because the child has a right to have a relationship with both parents. With orders like those I've suggested, however, it will be at your discretion, so you can supervise time between father and child if you wish to help the child feel more comfortable.