NSW Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence - Does Wife Need Evidence?

[DadonaMission]

I appreciate your insight. Sounds like a nightmare. I wish you all the best mate

I have 3 beautiful kids which adore me and I have invested everything into our relationship and their welfare.

We were married incident free for 12 years then this ADVO comes after separation this year and false (weak) accusations of child abuse and family violence results in me having supervised access only.

 

[okanynameyouwishthen]

Brother, I hope you are strong in spirit! I was forced to only be able to see my little cherub 90mins p/f at a contact centre (like a big kindy) under constant supervision of a staff member who was a constant shadow & trailing us around no more than a meter or 2 away writing down everything said between us as well as general observations as to my being child focused...eg: dad let child lead way during play & responded well to child's suggestions etc. for 12 months before finally progressing to 4hrs p/f visits off site but with my elderly parents roped in to supervise these visits at my home or theirs. 5 months of those degrading events & finally had my 1st visit last weekend of 4hrs just me & my girl! 2 years & 1 week since last time just me & her "hung out"!

Unfortunately you have to accept a few things through all the insanity. No. 1 is you are in the system as of now so for sake of your 3 beautiful kids look after yourself as a dad and educate yourself to the system you are in and pledge your existence from now to do all you can to let the courts see the true nature of yours and your kids relationship. If ordered to see them at contact centre, you will hopefully have a block of 4-6 visits (depending on how busy your local centre is) in between court mention dates and at completion a report is forwarded to the court.

I like most blokes was offended if not humiliated at having to see my child in such surrounds due solely to a nasty ex seeking to continue to control me. Like you, and most dads, my child adored me and not an iota of abuse etc, but she says you're angry/a danger/mental/non child focused ...whatever & court is left with no choice really (took me a while to begrudgingly accept that much) than to "take cautious approach" .I've seen dads at the centre full of rage and probably rightly so BUT these women who staff centres are angels and you must respect them & their rules & remember if not for their service, you wouldn't be seeing kids possibly.

I broke down after 1 visit due to innocent couple of things my child said during our play and held it together long enough for the heart wrenching "OK buddy it's been awesome fun and can't wait till next visit....be good etc." I got extra long cuddle and simple question of " When can I come play wiv ya in our cubby dad "? "Soon I hope mate,soon. Now ya better go as mum's waiting." I lost it just as she shut door and was a mess. Lovely lady who was our "observer" that day saw it all & after escorting child back to her mum came & consoled me, gave me tissues and said "Dad, we don't take sides and we are all for the kids in here, but we sometimes get "clientele" that we love hosting as they are a delight & incident free & we can only hope common sense prevails as the service isn't designed for the likes of them-they don't need it but must have it. Dad that is you guys,I know it's hard but (i never told you any of this ) please just keep doing what you are doing...it will all work out good".

Respect these ladies, befriend these ladies as they are the 1st out of court room eyes the judge hears from most times and those reports are gold really ... I hope! Stay strong mate I know its a roller coaster but 3 adoring kids need a fit, sane, healthy dad to stay the course.

Cheers

 

[DadonaMission]

Thanks for sharing your experience and for your support. Your situation doesn't sound good, is it finalised? Hope you're doing ok.

What were you accused of and what were the facts? Did you end up with significant overnight time with the children?

 

[Trying68]

Hello,

I have been falsely accused of child abuse and domestic violence.

I have not seen my children in more than 2 months. I have been offered only supervised access to the children at about that time. There is an interim AVO which I am fighting. It was a once off incident which occurred post separation and was so minor but now the police have given me another set of statements from her and her mother (also there) which exaggerates the AVO incident further.

Yesterday I had the first mention and the parties couldn't agree because I don't believe I need supervised access. My wife's barrister only had to mention the AVO in the first sentence to the judge and he ordered immediately that I receive only supervised access. The judge ordered children's lawyer, children's psychologist report (something like this I don't have the orders right now). My wife was so well represented.

Regarding the AVO there are now 3 different and inconsistent accounts of the incident; the first when the incident occurred, another statement to the police which adds assault (something I was not questioned on) and was allegedly noted on the day and also a third recollection which is different again and is contained in her family law affidavit.

I have produced a family law affidavit where I deny all her allegations of child abuse and family violence. She has not produced any evidence such as police reports (other than the current AVO) or DOCS or any other such evidence. Question, does she need to? We were married 12 years and there was never any report of violence or child abuse.

My family lawyers advice has been to submit nothing in the way of subpoenas and says that we just have to sit back and make them have to prove the allegations; that it's her word against mine and that she has no evidence other than her affidavit. My wife's lawyers have thus far not produced any subpoenas.

The interim hearing is coming up soon in October.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I really feel for you. My wife has an AVO out on me; everything in her statement is false. I was shocked when police arrived and told me I was under arrest, not shocked they showed up. The fact a compulsive liar can manipulate the police into believing her didn't matter.

What I said as far as police were concerned I was in the wrong. Even on my first court appearance the same morning she wanted to vary AVO for the second time. I thought in our country we were innocent until proven guilty.