QLD Ex Refusing Mediation - Can I Relocate with Children?

[PixiePie]

Ok. Tricky situation. It isn't really fair on you and the kids, though. Have you sought a second opinion?

If your ex won't go to mediation, you could go yourself and you would still get the certificate to say you attempted mediation. If it goes to Court (hopefully not), you have evidence to say you tried.

Also, maybe you could try temporary contracts through recruitment agencies, whilst you look for a full time job. I did that and it kept the cash flowing until I found my current job. It pays well and can be as flexible as you need.

 

[Meg3]

Yes, I'm attempting temporary Contracts but that is difficult to always take with having to find daycare/before and after school care for all three kids for short periods of time and then have to take them out again once the work ends. I also have done some cleaning and bookwork at home to keep me afloat but if I get a teaching work between, I have to give those things up in order to commit to that work and then I find myself having to find up to three and four different casual things when contracts end again.

Not to mention how screwed up child support gets starting and stopping work. Since they are always paying a month behind when I finish paid work, I don't get a true assessment for up to and more than a month later again. In that time, I feel like I go backwards just because I dared to take on more professional work.

It's just so hard and it's stressful never knowing when the next grocery shop can and will be able to happen. I guess that's why all the changes in care is definitely not helping my situation. I cannot budget at all and the most gut wrenching feeling I've had a few times is having to ask my neighbour for some bread or milk to make school lunches.

Anyway, I know I need to be issued a certificate to go to court and that's all I can probably do now to get a result. I am just sick to the stomach with worry about it not going my way and me being not only stuck here with no work and in the same position, but also giving my ex the pleasure of always reminding me of my attempts and losing, which I absolutely know he will use to torment me.

 

[PixiePie]

I know that gut wrenching feeling too

Have you tried early release of superannuation on grounds of financial hardship? They usually release about $10k each time, but tax at 50%. Check with Centrelink first in case it affects your single parent payment. Forget get pawn shops, they take advantage of people.

 

[Meg3]

I have nothing left to pawn! Lol

I have had so many garage sales and gumtree has saved my butt many times. We now live with bare essentials of furniture and clothing, shoes and toys.

I have looked into the super early release, but I also believe it does affect the parenting payments and yes, is taxed 50%. I don't have a great deal due to a past business we had when married that he took over and then run into the ground and paid me nothing for it.

We had a self-managed super fund for many years in which I had no idea he was delving into thousands at a time and had to end up selling our home to pay back. I still don't know or have seen proof of where any of that ever went. I never will.

But in saying that, I think you're right. I do need to look at that again to get by and pay some bills like car rego and electricity that will soon see debt collectors at my door.

I also know this is a short-term solutions to get me through the now, however. I need to make some permanent changes and get my life sorted out once and for all so I am financially stable and can actually enjoy my children instead of dragging them to houses as I clean for them.

I just can't believe where I am when I am qualified and experienced in a professional career. I should be able to stand on my own feet comfortably but cannot. When my ex is working full time, going on overseas holidays, living in a home almost twice the size and amount in rent, running a cash business on the side, has 4 vehicles between two of them and I am still simply taking up the slack that his new partner either has no time for or wants to.

If it wasn't for my parents, I wouldn't even have a vehicle.

I think I just have no choice but to try court. I'm scared as hell over it.