VIC Do I apply for contraventionvention order?

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Woo2511

Active Member
16 April 2018
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Sorry - I tried to change the title of this thread and couldn’t! I do know how to spell contravention...

So, we have consent orders in place....
What do you know? On Friday I get to my daughters school to collect her for her 4 day night weekend with me due to the public holiday and 2 mins before the bell goes, my daughter calls me from the school office to say that she feels sick and that my ex was coming to get her.
I said what? What’s going on? I’m here waiting for you, I’ll come to get you and she says no my ex is and hangs up.
The ex text me 45 mins later to say that wasn’t sure what was going on but had collected our daughter and would talk to her to see what was up.
I hear nothing until my daughter calls Saturday morning to say she’s been sick all night and won’t be coming (noting she posted a dance video online at 8.30pm the previous night that I saw and clearly wasn’t sick).
I text the ex to ask what’s happening and I get a text back saying that it’s not my decision to decide that our daughter will or won’t come.
I pointed out to my ex that no, it wasn’t Either of our decisions, in fact the judge had decided when she made our consent orders final, but the ex responded that no orders were being breached and said SHE’S STAYING WITH ME ALL WEEKEND. YOU DONT GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. END OF DISCUSSION.
I have no idea what is going on. All I want is to have my daughter be with me for he weekend as the orders say.
I feel like this is the beginning of my ex just wanting to do what my ex wants to do and that my daughter may be withheld from me moving forward.
Do I apply to the court for contravention??
 

malcolm_smith

Well-Known Member
9 June 2018
34
2
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how old is your daughter? is there something else going on for her personally? It sounds, just from that she called you to say not to pick her up, that possibly there is something going on for her?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Generally, my guidance is to let it slide in the first instance, but if it happens a second, third, fourth, etc. time — then file a contravention order that includes the first instance, as well as all following.

How old is your daughter?
 

Woo2511

Active Member
16 April 2018
6
1
31
She is 12.
Happy every single time she comes here.
The ex is a big manipulator though. I can’t imagine it’s my daughter not wanting to come, but more the ex in her ear.
The ex has had a blatent disregard for my time with my daughter for years - hence getting the orders in place but that still doesn’t seem to make any difference to the ex.
I feel like filing a contravention will show the ex that the orders aren’t just some whimsical guidelines but actual court ordered time with my child.....
 

Nonfiction

Well-Known Member
17 May 2018
111
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Victoria
Even if the grounds for the contravention could be made out, if this is the first occasion the mother has witheld, the Court would probaby only order ‘make up time’. You are right in saying that the mother should be following the orders, but perhaps on this occasion, the least acrimonious option for you would be to contact the mother directly (email, text) asking how your daughter is doing (health wise...even if you do not believe she is unwell), and if you like, asking for some kind of make up time. Do not turn it into a big issue if the mother says no. If the mother witholds again at a later time, necessitating contravention proceedings, your amicable approach, in the 1st instance, could only be viewed as positively (for you) by the Court.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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I feel like filing a contravention will show the ex that the orders aren’t just some whimsical guidelines but actual court ordered time with my child.....

Well, why come here asking for opinions?

Your kid is 12. If you think mum is in her ear now, what do you think she’s going to tell her if you take mum back to court over one weekend?

And who knows why your daughter wanted to stay at mum’s? There were many times in my teen years when my mum was my preferred confidante (like when I got my period), and there were many times when my dad was my preferred confidante (like when I needed help building a race cart for my physics class). If my dad had insisted on being included the first time I got my period, I would have been mortified.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Got some bad news...
"I feel like filing a contravention will show the ex that the orders aren’t just some whimsical guidelines but actual court ordered time with my child....."
Court orders are some whimsical guidelines.....

I'm not happy about it either mate... But the fact is that for you to get this to court as a one off... You're wasting your time... IF the trend continues, go to court, even then, with a 12 yr old child, who in all likelyhood will be 13 bu the time this thing gets heard....

The courts are full of blokes trying to have their existing orders enforced....

I don't like what I've written... But it is accurate
 

Woo2511

Active Member
16 April 2018
6
1
31
Well, why come here asking for opinions?

Your kid is 12. If you think mum is in her ear now, what do you think she’s going to tell her if you take mum back to court over one weekend?

And who knows why your daughter wanted to stay at mum’s? There were many times in my teen years when my mum was my preferred confidante (like when I got my period), and there were many times when my dad was my preferred confidante (like when I needed help building a race cart for my physics class). If my dad had insisted on being included the first time I got my period, I would have been mortified.


Ok....I didn’t need you to reply to me like that. Of course I was asking for opinions, it doesn’t mean that I can’t have my own.
I thought this forum was for people to help and support each other, not make them feel bad.
 
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Woo2511

Active Member
16 April 2018
6
1
31
i was thinking the same thing re lady's issues that she'd prefer be with her mum for.

It’s definitely not that. We’re very open about that and she’s been here with me during that time before. The timing is not right either.....