Hi,
A friend of mine has been going through a rough divorce and has recently had a VRO (restraining order) served against her ex-partner. Within an hour of being served he messaged her saying that he was going to have their 4year old daughter for the day on the weekend. I understand it is his right to see his daughter and mum had always encouraged their relationship up until now. But this is the first time he has shown any interest in his daughter and it wreaks of revenge/power play.
To add to the fact that this is the first time he ever really has shown interest in her he:
- Has been abusive to her mum in front of her (daughter), causing her to often say she is scared of him (I realise this is probably also partly due to mum projecting her own fears onto the child). Mum has never spoken to their daughter about him in a negative way, she has always been reassuring that daddy still loves her in an attempt to avoid any possible abandonment issues.
- He has never been dependable when they have tried to organise visits in the past, almost always calling it off or arriving hours late.
- When he has had her, mum has arrived to a distressed child, craving attention due to the fact all he has done is sit on his phone or sleep on the couch the whole time (their daughter often comes home to say thats what he did with her for the day).
- He is supposed to be on medication which he is not taking. Leading to erratic behaviour, including disappearing for weeks without returning calls or messages (during these times none knows where he is, not even his parents).
Also:
A child psychologist they have been seeing for around 2 years has recently concluded that she is profoundly gifted. Meaning she is highly sensitive to change, emotional distress and anything that isn't routine.
She has also seriously recommended that the daughter not see dad, as it would be detrimental to her emotional wellbeing (she has met the dad prior to the abuse and also when it was beginning to happen). She also stated that since their daughter hasn't been in contact with dad in recent times, her emotional state has been far more stable. That the constant inconsistency dad was providing had been causing great amounts of distress for their daughter.
Is there any chance of restricting his access to the daughter (to at least supervised access) to avoid anymore distress to the child as she would be hysterical if she had to spend time alone with him? Or would family court still be in favour of him having equal rights to her? Also, would there be a way of achieving this without having to go through court, like a mediation?
All messages between mum and dad have been recorded, showing how uninterested, abusive and unreliable he has been if this helps at all.
Thank you for your time.
A friend of mine has been going through a rough divorce and has recently had a VRO (restraining order) served against her ex-partner. Within an hour of being served he messaged her saying that he was going to have their 4year old daughter for the day on the weekend. I understand it is his right to see his daughter and mum had always encouraged their relationship up until now. But this is the first time he has shown any interest in his daughter and it wreaks of revenge/power play.
To add to the fact that this is the first time he ever really has shown interest in her he:
- Has been abusive to her mum in front of her (daughter), causing her to often say she is scared of him (I realise this is probably also partly due to mum projecting her own fears onto the child). Mum has never spoken to their daughter about him in a negative way, she has always been reassuring that daddy still loves her in an attempt to avoid any possible abandonment issues.
- He has never been dependable when they have tried to organise visits in the past, almost always calling it off or arriving hours late.
- When he has had her, mum has arrived to a distressed child, craving attention due to the fact all he has done is sit on his phone or sleep on the couch the whole time (their daughter often comes home to say thats what he did with her for the day).
- He is supposed to be on medication which he is not taking. Leading to erratic behaviour, including disappearing for weeks without returning calls or messages (during these times none knows where he is, not even his parents).
Also:
A child psychologist they have been seeing for around 2 years has recently concluded that she is profoundly gifted. Meaning she is highly sensitive to change, emotional distress and anything that isn't routine.
She has also seriously recommended that the daughter not see dad, as it would be detrimental to her emotional wellbeing (she has met the dad prior to the abuse and also when it was beginning to happen). She also stated that since their daughter hasn't been in contact with dad in recent times, her emotional state has been far more stable. That the constant inconsistency dad was providing had been causing great amounts of distress for their daughter.
Is there any chance of restricting his access to the daughter (to at least supervised access) to avoid anymore distress to the child as she would be hysterical if she had to spend time alone with him? Or would family court still be in favour of him having equal rights to her? Also, would there be a way of achieving this without having to go through court, like a mediation?
All messages between mum and dad have been recorded, showing how uninterested, abusive and unreliable he has been if this helps at all.
Thank you for your time.