VIC Care of kids

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tigerman2705

Well-Known Member
22 April 2021
25
6
154
Well, I just got an email from her telling me the oldest two can spend time with me “in accordance with their wishes” which is 85-100%, but still only every second weekend for the youngest which is about the only person/thing she can control. It’s a big step in the right direction towards getting this mess sorted out. Moved into a nice rental today. The oldest two will be with me after they finish school in half an hour. I’m very happy.
 
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GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
480
45
714
That's great. Like Sammy said though, because you don't have court orders, the youngest can still change their mind. Keep the door open, let the dust settle. If the youngest does change their mind and move in, you will be in a stronger position because you will effectively be able to establish the status quo of primary care while waiting for her to file in court for orders. Your ex will have far less leverage over the situation by then.
 
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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,853
690
2,894
U'm so you have a nice rental? how long is the lease... Take a seat. Calm down... If the kids are living with you the majority of the time.... And the logic of keeping her in the house was to give the kids stability. U'm well that argument leaves the building when the kids leave the building... Maybe, she should move out and you can clean the house and get it ready to sell. Are you in a position to buy her out?
 

tigerman2705

Well-Known Member
22 April 2021
25
6
154
Hi Sammy
I could buy her out but I don’t want to. It’s a 64 acre property and it’s 25 mins to the town where they go to school. I’m literally 60 metres from my eldest daughter’s school now - makes it so much easier to care for them and I can work from home a few days a week, covid or non-covid, which makes it simple to stay on top of all the household “stuff”.
Apart from needing a coat of paint on some of the walls I quite like it. Kids have top floor, I have ground floor. 10 minute walk to town/gym etc.I didn’t choose to keep her in the house as she flexed her IVO muscle when it suited her. She wants to sell as well. 12 month lease which suits me fine. When we have divided everything we will each be able to buy a house in town with a negligible/nil mortgage. She literally brought nothing into the relationship besides a clothes dryer and a crap car. She’ll walk away quite well off. Them’s the breaks.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,853
690
2,894
Them's the breaks... YUP. When I was 18 I was stacking shelves. The CEO visited the store and had a brief chat to me... He took some condoms off the shelf near where I was working and threw them at me. He then said.... "I just saved you a million dollars."
I love my kids. But I see your point about an ex who came in with nothing and just because a few humans came out of her body in a way that has been happening for thousands of years, somehow I had to give her most of my life savings...
 

tigerman2705

Well-Known Member
22 April 2021
25
6
154
Hi all - well, I had what I hope is my final hearing ever in the magistrates court and got everything I wanted. IVO was split in two. A basic one condition order with the kids on it (condition is “don’t commit family violence) and a separate order for the ex, with a clause that I can go to the former family home by agreement with her via text (this is to prepare it for sale) and also a clause that I can communicate with her via text or social media. I don’t want to communicate with her at all if I can help it, but this is just a safety net if I really needed to get in touch with her.
Had a wonderful Fathers Day yesterday, the youngest definitely wants to spend time with me and her sisters at the néw place, I think I will end up with 50-50 care which would be great. She and her sisters are very close.
By the way, I self represented in court, so it is possible to make IVOs more manageable than they first appear, but it does take a little patience, and a decent magistrate. Cheers