Can My Ex Take Me To Court?

[Hayles969]

Hi, I have been separated from my husband for 16months now and am living 6hrs away from him (separation). We have been to mediation and had a parenting plan drawn up and signed last October. Not once has my ex come to visit our daughter or done anything he said he would do in the parenting plan.

I've been frequenting Sydney to take our daughter to him and I've had enough of making all the effort all the time.

My question is, if he turned around and wanting to take me to family law court do we have to go back to mediation first to try and sort a new arrangement out? Thank you

 

[AllForHer]

The s60i certificate that you would have received in October remains valid for a period of 12 months, so no, you would not have to go to mediation again, but I would strongly suggest that you do so anyway. Court is a deeply stressful process that only serves to further rupture co-parenting relationships, so it's better for your child to avoid court at all costs.

Perhaps begin my finding out why dad isn't abiding the plan. Is the frequency of time spent with the child too much considering the distance, or perhaps too little in that dad feels like it's impossible for him to be properly involved in the child's life? Is there still a lot of conflict? If so, could you both attend post-separation parenting courses to perhaps try and build the all-important 'parents, not partners' business relationship?

There's usually a reason why one doesn't follow the plan, and usually plenty of other options so that it's more likely to be followed. I would try and avoid court, if possible.

 

[Hayles969]

Thank you, i of course want to keep this out of the court system, it's the last thing i need. He always says he's going to come and visit her and then he doesn't follow through with it. He tells me things like 'i can't afford it' 'i can't get time off work' etc... But i know that is not true at all, it's just excuses, so that i'm the one making all the effort.

So if he wanted to take me to court he could just go straight to the courts? I thought you had to have a certificate from mediation to show you couldn't resolve the situation. In our mediation we did agree on everything and signed it happily. He just hasn't followed through with his side?

 

[AllForHer]

No, the s60i certificate does not have to say that you couldn't reach an agreement, though obviously, it works in your favour if it says an agreement has been reached and it's dad who brings the initiating application.

Try and remember that it's his responsibility to follow through on the parenting plan, and it will do your head in if you try and take responsibility on his behalf. All you have to do is uphold your end of the bargain and keep your child out of parenting matters. For example, if he is unreliable about visits, it would be better for your child if you did not to say times/days relating to the next time he/she should be seeing dad. This means you don't have to play the bad guy, and you won't be tempted to follow the path of 'sorry mate, your dad didn't want to see you this weekend' (trust me, it happens!). If dad does take you to court, you want to make sure you have done your utmost to facilitate the relationship between dad and child.

 

[Hayles969]

But we didn't get any kind of certificate, just a 'Parenting Agreement'?

 

[AllForHer]

In that case, then yes, you will need to attend another mediation with a practitioner qualified to give you and your ex a s60i certificate. Your former spouse cannot lodge an initiating application without one.

 

[Hayles969]

Thank you so much, that is what i wanted to hear. I'll sleep a little better tonight