NSW Are We Breaching Consent Orders?

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Stevie_Beavie

Active Member
6 February 2017
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31
Hi,

My wife has consent orders from the family court, interim not final. At the end of the orders, there is a notation that she confirms that I was not living with her when the orders were made, which is true. However, there is no actual order that I cannot live with her. There is an order that states that she must let her ex know of the particulars of anyone who will reside in the property for more then 10 days at a time.

My wife recently let me move back in full time and has emailed her ex and informed him that I will be living with her from now on. We decided on this because her ex's wife and in-laws have made my wife feel unsafe. Can my wife get into trouble for letting me move back in?

Her ex never replied to the email. However she just found out that her ex's lawyer is investigating me. Can they do that? The consent orders are between my wife and her ex solely, no third parties are listed in the court proceedings.

What can I do to stop this invasion of my privacy? There is nothing to find - I have no criminal record, no AVO against me nor has there ever been, no police reports have ever been made in relation to me. I still feel that they are doing the wrong thing here.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
OK, so she has to provide the ex with some of your details. Fine...

You have no history - and even if you did, so what... They are not gonna find anything, right? So why worry?
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
61
794
My wife has consent orders from the court, interim not final. At the end of the orders there is a notation that she confirms that I was not living with her when the orders were made, which is true.

Although not exactly an order itself, notations generally have some relevance to orders.

The question here is, why has such a notation been made?
 

MummyOf2

Well-Known Member
18 September 2015
28
0
121
why worry
They have been denigrating me to whomever will listen, spreading slanderous lies. I am worried they will also tell people they are having me investigated defaming me even more.

why has such a notation been made?
The wife and mother-in-law of my wife's ex have tried to say that my previous relationship with my wife is creating a toxic environment for my wife's son. Everything they said about me was lies and they even admitted to the barrister at the previous court hearing that they had nothing to go on. They only made my wife sign it to spite us.

The judge that presided over the case understands that there is no weight to my wife's ex's allegations.

Posted on behalf of my husband....
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
61
794
To link this up a little @Stevie_Beavie and @MummyOf2 with the subpoena thread. Who do the other sides lawyers want to issue the subpoena on? Police? Medical?

In terms of settling this dispute about safety for the children, and given that you have both said that there is absolutely nothing to hide, while I do understand that it might be invasive, it might also put certain issues to rest. To your advantage.

A lesson for you to learn here MummyOf2...if you don't agree with the orders, or conditions to which they are made, you don't think they are best interests of the children, and you think the Judge may decide differently, then don't sign.

Something you need to fully understand, while your case is still in the system. Although negotiation and compromise between parents is always encouraged and a good thing and it is certainly beneficial to the children, both short and long term, once you have final orders, future changes to them can be very difficult to make.

Parents moving forward and/or increased flexibility and compromise post Court, is hoped but never guaranteed.
 

MummyOf2

Well-Known Member
18 September 2015
28
0
121
Who do the other sides lawyers want to issue the subpoena on? Police? Medical?
My ex and I already have our lawyers subpoenaing information about the other, but now out of the blue they are after police records and for all we know they could be after medical records regarding Stevie. Like we mentioned, there is nothing to hide. It's just very invasive and calculated. My husband is already struggling to find work here because of them hence why he wants to stop them.

it might also put certain issues to rest, to your advantage.
Now that you mention it I can see how their investigation could be to our advantage. At the very least it will prove that my ex is just stringing the courts along longer then necessary. I personally just want to get to the part where we put final orders in place.

if you don't agree with the orders, or conditions to which they are made, you don't think they are best interests of the children, and you think the Judge may decide differently, then don't sign.
I definitely won't be signing anything when we return to court unless I have had more then 5 minutes to read everything properly. Before the interim hearing my lawyer and the barrister that stood in for my ex's lawyer kept negotiating the orders without giving me space to think about what I was reading and my ex kept throwing in new orders each time my lawyer came back to me with it.

Although negotiation and compromise between parents is always encouraged and a good thing and it is certainly beneficial to the children, both short and long term, once you have final orders, future changes to them can be very difficult to make.
I'm really hoping we can agree to something that will work for us in the long run and just move on. The harassment and bullying I have suffered from my ex's wife has stressed me out so much I'm getting physically sick. At this point I just want it to end peacefully. My son has been put in a pretty toxic position that needs to be rectified more then anything else.

I will discuss the option of returning to mediation in the future if changes need to be made to the consent orders. If I could get my ex to talk to me I could probably get him to agree, unfortunately his wife has been the one pulling the strings and making it hard to move forward.