VIC applying to vary intervention order

[Jamie27]

Hello team. Good news. National Police Check came back clean. You beauty. Load off my mind when applying for jobs.

Ex has now offered for kids to see me on my birthday weekend soon. However she says my parents need to supervise while the girls are with me. The problem I have with this is that there’s never been an “incident” involving the girls or anyone else for that matter. We always have fun and adventures. Just feels like family law manoeuvres. Thoughts?

 

[Atticus]

Good news about the NPC...

If she is offering time with the kids I'd take it.... Games?.. In her head? most likley. Doe's it matter?.. No ... Have a good birthday. PS, blowing out candles is frowned upon in this Covid-19 era

 

[Jamie27]

yes I would love to spend time with the kids - but I’m very wary of this condition spelled out in the letter from the lawyer

“one or both of your parents to be in substantial attendance at all times”

I think I’m being extra wary with the IVO expiry creeping ever closer. I don’t see why this condition needs to be in there. There’s never been an issue with the kids in my care. Maybe I’m overthinking it.

 

[sammy01]

She is playing HER game. Her game is called Power and Control. She wins her game when you fart and she goes to the cops to complain. Dont play her game... Your game is called "Do what it takes to see my kids again". Play that game. The rules are simple the title of the game explains it.

 

[Jamie27]

You two are right. I’ll have a good time.
She can get stuffed.

 

[sammy01]

mate - just a word of advice.... I hate my advice sometimes. Keep the valium near by. Expect her to fcuk you around. If you go in with that expectation then if you get the kids you're happy. If you don't you shrug your shoulders. But it means you wont get grumpy and go to her house because she said you could see the kids AND then she calls the cops.

Mate - I've finally got rid of it all - the emails, the letters... THE RECIEPTS from maccas to prove that I was there as per orders - but she wasn't. I reckon one of my lowest moments was buying a cheesburger just to get the reciept to show I was there, only to chuck the burger in the bin because I couldn't swallow their 'food' just like I couldn't swallow the sadness of sitting at maccas waiting for the kids.

 

[Jamie27]

Sammy, unfortunately I’ve become used to setting my expectations quite low in this relationship. It’s been that way for a long time.
Thanks for all the kind words.

 

[Jamie27]

Hello,
Just a footnote to all this... had a great weekend with the kids who are missing me terribly. Lots of tears when we said goodbye. They're all doing it tough. Don't know when I'll see them again but there are less than 7 weeks to go on intervention order. 6 weeks and 5 days to be precise. Yes sammy I'm shopping around for a lawyer to get regular time with them.
Saw ex when she dropped off and picked up from mum's. Didn't say a word.
Regarding police action over alleged breaches - the girls told me when they were spoken to by the attending officers they told them that their mum exaggerates and fabricates... that her claims were rubbish, and their dad is a good person. Maybe that's why I haven't heard anything regarding charges. By this Friday it will be 9 weeks since being interviewed. Good on the girls for speaking their mind. Gutsy. I am so proud of them for standing up for themselves and me as well.
Went to see the psychologist to get the piece of paper she wants... have to go back next week, but his view was pretty much "mate she sounds nuts".
Got a letter from ex's lawyer today asking for all my financials but I'm in no rush to sort that out - need to find a job first.... unless there's an advantage to me of any kind doing the property stuff whilst unemployed?
Cheers

 

[sammy01]

Get working on the financial stuff. I'm thinking all they're gonna want is your superannuation. Value of assets. i'm thinking you wont have much. But you're doing what she tells you... While you write to her solicitor offer an interim parenting plan and an intention to find an amicable agreement that can be formalised into a parenting plan. Get started on that and get the letter from the shrink to throw into the mix. And the best bit? you can do it without a solicitor BUT it will cost HER to have the solicitor read it.... So get writing and post it here to get some advice (obviously redact all info that identifies you)

 

[Jamie27]

So it looks like I am going to be charged with breaching the intervention order. The information came via a police check as part of a job application. Just the fact I am facing a charge.
Police officer involved says it’s because I went back and retrieved my computer. I hope this doesn’t torpedo my chance of getting the job but I am feeling pretty crap right now.