VIC Access in good faith?

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BUNYIP

Member
17 May 2021
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0
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The final court orders provide for my son to be sole parent. Due to mum's delusional disorder, interim orders state she was to have only one overnight weekend access once a fortnight and after school from 3.30pm until 7.00pm each Wednesday and only one week during long school holidays.

Mum is however able to:

  • Communicate with any school or education related professional involved with the child.
  • Receive school reports, newsletters, photographs, forms or any other information usually provided to parents.
  • Attend at the child's school events such as parent teacher interviews, graduations, concerts, sporting events and other any other event that parents are usually invited to attend.

Since final parenting orders were made, mum has been consistently undermining dad's parenting. Mum has been encouraging daughter to believe she will be living with her when she turns 12 and many other inappropriate comments/actions.

(Access orders are to be finalised in a few weeks.)

More recently mum has unilaterally negotiated to assist in the childs classroom each Wednesday afternoon, effectively gaining additional access time outside the court ordered access times.

The child's emeshment with the mother is causing the child to be disrectful and belligerent and with extra access it is felt it will become more so. There is no chance the parents can co-parent.

How could this situation be conveyed to the court without appearing to be petty. It is felt mum has greater influence over the child and results in a negative way on the father-daughter relationship.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,154
721
2,894
Final orders? Look you can apply for contraventions. BUT she isn't really breaching the orders. True?

So no longer legal advice. Just some practical real world stuff.

Have a chat to the principal, show principal the orders and explain your concerns.
child is being dis-respectful? well that is up to your son to learn some parenting strategies. Carrots and sticks work well. But we can't hit kids with sticks anymore. But be firm. But hey this is a law forum, not a parenting forum.

Be strategic. My ex is the same. Tells the kids daddy made her go to court, daddy is brain washing them... Blah blah. Firm parenting and when necessary I communicate to the kids in an age appropriate way.

Final thing - google 'parallel parenting' and do some research on dealing with nuttters - I'm not one for diagnosing people I've never met, but look into borderline personality disorders. What I've worked out is that it is best to say nothing, staly calm. And pour water on fires not petrol. I'll leave you to contemplate that metaphor. But basically, disengage from crazy.

But don't go back to court - Why? well no court can order an idiot to stop being an idion. Instead learn strategies to take back some control.