Hi All. Im just starting my legal battles and have concerns I am going to pay through my nose as my ex is highly litigious. I also was very disappointed with a recent outcome in court despite paying huge sums to my legal team. I am just wondering if anyone with legal background can comment whether it seems normal.
I have very young children (2x under 4) and had 6 nights per fortnight for the first 9 months of separation. She made false claims for and an FVIIO was taken out. After liaising with the informent and providing alternative evidence in the aim of seeking an undertaking/withdrawal, the cops said they'd charge her criminally with DV. Inaddition, i have numerous witness statements (including from our nanny) of both physical and emotional abuse committed by here to me including in the presence of kids. I have hospital reports, etc too of DV. She has provided no evidence in the FVO or in the recent interim court hearing where her affidavit made claims of abuse. I provided my lawyer an indexed 130page document of evidence of her bad behaviour. Including alienation such as 'he always tells me he hates you' etc, tenants of our investment property wanting a restainer order on her, and the list goes on. She often said to my eldest 'dont we hate daddy' including infront of me. I have evidence of alienation but not video evidence (text). There is also a baby on the way and will come any day now. I was smoking a few joints a week but have quit as it was a free kick as she was screaming 'drug addict' at every possible opportunity.
In the recent interim court appearance which i was the respondent, my legal team wanted me to take 5 nights (in negotiations pre judge) as they thought going up against the judge could give me a worse result. She wanted me to have 4. The evidence against her in undeniable. I am wondering why i would have to have days cut despite what is happening. When she applied for the interim hearing, the FVIIO was in place and no DV charges pending. Her basis for her requests were almost all DV related which basically flipped on her before court date as i had a letter from the cops saying theyd support a withdrawal of the FVIIO and intended to be charge her. Since then she has thrown more basless and falso allegations at police who are now not supporting a withdrawal at this time (the case was ajorned rather than withdrawn due to the pending birth and the red flag period)
So how am i losing days? I am highly concerned for my kids. For instance, tonight, i had to rush off to daycare to grab them as she didnt pick them up (its her night) and they are now staying tonight with me. This is just a week after court and the change of roster. She is so desperate for conclict and i get daily correspondemce from her that a third party would consider wierd, irrational and abusive. Despite her affidavit having multiple contradictions within it (ie, saying i had the kids 6 nights since separation, then in another section saying i have had 6 night only for 2 fortnights), tonight she emailed me and said she went to the cops (i assume on the phone and all heresay so im not too worried) and she has the option, if she so desires (but she is holding off for now) to charge me with purjury, that she claims to have video of me hitting her and for breaches of the FVIIO (me supposedly gaslighting her). She said the cops told her she'd be successful. Ive never touched her, didnt lie in my affidavit, and if i have breached the FVIIO its very minor (ie, emailing her about something other than the kids). 95% of the time in an angel in correspondence and the other 5% is frustration (and in no way abuse. Im not stupid enough to do that).
My question is why with all this am i losing days with the kids? What do people here think? Should i have gone to the judge and taken the risk? Im paying my legal team a fortune and this outcome doesnt seem in the best interest of the kids and i feel they didn't get the best outcome. Tje whole system and the way it works seems so outdated. On court day i was advised 'this is an highly unusual case, amongst other things, as its not a father that works and the mother as full time stay home carer'. WTF? Its not 1960. I think its pretty normal both parents work even if children are young.
My lawyers say im the luckiest guy in the worldvto get 5 nights a fortnight but i certainly don't feel that way.
I have been defendeding myself in the FVIIO case and feel i could have done just a good of a job in this recent hearing.
I have very young children (2x under 4) and had 6 nights per fortnight for the first 9 months of separation. She made false claims for and an FVIIO was taken out. After liaising with the informent and providing alternative evidence in the aim of seeking an undertaking/withdrawal, the cops said they'd charge her criminally with DV. Inaddition, i have numerous witness statements (including from our nanny) of both physical and emotional abuse committed by here to me including in the presence of kids. I have hospital reports, etc too of DV. She has provided no evidence in the FVO or in the recent interim court hearing where her affidavit made claims of abuse. I provided my lawyer an indexed 130page document of evidence of her bad behaviour. Including alienation such as 'he always tells me he hates you' etc, tenants of our investment property wanting a restainer order on her, and the list goes on. She often said to my eldest 'dont we hate daddy' including infront of me. I have evidence of alienation but not video evidence (text). There is also a baby on the way and will come any day now. I was smoking a few joints a week but have quit as it was a free kick as she was screaming 'drug addict' at every possible opportunity.
In the recent interim court appearance which i was the respondent, my legal team wanted me to take 5 nights (in negotiations pre judge) as they thought going up against the judge could give me a worse result. She wanted me to have 4. The evidence against her in undeniable. I am wondering why i would have to have days cut despite what is happening. When she applied for the interim hearing, the FVIIO was in place and no DV charges pending. Her basis for her requests were almost all DV related which basically flipped on her before court date as i had a letter from the cops saying theyd support a withdrawal of the FVIIO and intended to be charge her. Since then she has thrown more basless and falso allegations at police who are now not supporting a withdrawal at this time (the case was ajorned rather than withdrawn due to the pending birth and the red flag period)
So how am i losing days? I am highly concerned for my kids. For instance, tonight, i had to rush off to daycare to grab them as she didnt pick them up (its her night) and they are now staying tonight with me. This is just a week after court and the change of roster. She is so desperate for conclict and i get daily correspondemce from her that a third party would consider wierd, irrational and abusive. Despite her affidavit having multiple contradictions within it (ie, saying i had the kids 6 nights since separation, then in another section saying i have had 6 night only for 2 fortnights), tonight she emailed me and said she went to the cops (i assume on the phone and all heresay so im not too worried) and she has the option, if she so desires (but she is holding off for now) to charge me with purjury, that she claims to have video of me hitting her and for breaches of the FVIIO (me supposedly gaslighting her). She said the cops told her she'd be successful. Ive never touched her, didnt lie in my affidavit, and if i have breached the FVIIO its very minor (ie, emailing her about something other than the kids). 95% of the time in an angel in correspondence and the other 5% is frustration (and in no way abuse. Im not stupid enough to do that).
My question is why with all this am i losing days with the kids? What do people here think? Should i have gone to the judge and taken the risk? Im paying my legal team a fortune and this outcome doesnt seem in the best interest of the kids and i feel they didn't get the best outcome. Tje whole system and the way it works seems so outdated. On court day i was advised 'this is an highly unusual case, amongst other things, as its not a father that works and the mother as full time stay home carer'. WTF? Its not 1960. I think its pretty normal both parents work even if children are young.
My lawyers say im the luckiest guy in the worldvto get 5 nights a fortnight but i certainly don't feel that way.
I have been defendeding myself in the FVIIO case and feel i could have done just a good of a job in this recent hearing.