Hello to all,
I've been reading this forum and am impressed with the quality of responses and the generosity of time members provide to others. I would like to hire and pay one of you for a day rather than the numerous solicitors I've been making enquiries on who don't really seem to be listening.
I have so many questions i don't know where to start. Not sure either how to keep this brief. Sorry in advance as not exactly sure this will be in correct posting format.
Questions involve seperation/divorce, property settlement, caveat, parenting.
My main stress point this evening is deciding whether to engage a solicitor for my famly and property matters, or whether to self-represent. Never involved in personal law matters before but I have some minor involvement in my professional work. I'm a capable researcher, writer, and speaker, just not a lawyer. And i fully recognise that they have skills and experience that i don't.
I've got very differing advice from family and friends; from go it alone as what lawyers add does not justify their fees; to make sure you lawyer up.
Previously we attended family mediation and agreed to shared parenting - not yet formalised though through Consent Orders???
I've recently found what seems to be an engaged and caring lawyer who has agreed to defer fees (with 20% uplift ???) and am due to properly meet with them later this week.
But i feel taking this step will prove too expensive when considered against the asset pool.
The matrimonial asset pool is not overly much, $400k or so, with my ex privately offering 90/10 split in her favour and now asking for 75/25 in her Initiating Application. I had offered her a 60/40 split in her favour which she rejected.
I am broke. But I work full-time on a good income ($100k) and the matrimonial house is 100% in my name on title, with a mortgage in joint names. Living pay to pay, two children aged 5 yrs and 2 years - we started falling behind on the bills this past January 2018. By April I got my 1st Default Notice on a credit card and within a couple of weeks of that, my ex stated she wanted a divorce, apologised for stringing me along for so long, and admitted she didn't love me. Long story short is i feel i was used for my income and high credit rating so she could get house/s.
We are all living under the same roof - which is very difficult. I am constantly in fear she'll try for a DVO. She has become antaganistic, uncommunicative, paranoid, irrational and unpleasant. I am facing a smear campaign at the moment whereby everyone she talks to, she makes me out to be a monster. Neighbors, family and friends.
FACTS:
Together for 8 years and married the last 4.5 years. Seperation May 2018.
She contributed a house (she rents out) pre-marriage with ~$60k equity and about $10k super. I contributed only super, about $70k. Her income, averaging 1/4 - 1/2 of mine, went mainly to the upkeep of her house, but she also contributed to living costs. Her income was reduced due to our decision for her to be a stay at home mum when our 1st was born. She had some sole trader income during the last 5 years. My income paid for living expenses and credit card bills.
During marriage we built a new home. We couldn't afford it but under severe duress i signed up. She organised everything as property is her number 1 passion in life. There are various aspects involved in the house build that i won't ho into here.
She lawyered up and asserts because she had a property pre-marriage, did most of the 'work' to build matrimonial home, and is primary caregiver to children (she works from home, i work 1 hour away) - she is entitled to such a large share. Apparently ours is considered a 'short marriage' as well but I can't find out anything on this.
We agreed to put home on market in July if i paid some painters to touch up living room. I did.
She then stated she wanted to keep house as she built it. I said she could pay me out and I'd transfer it to her.
We couldn't agree on payout/split.
I engaged two real estate agents and she engaged 1 real estate agent, but she never let me sign any of them up.
She stated she feared I'd take all the sale proceeds as house was 100% in my name.
I provided her with an undertaking that 60% of proceeds would be held in solicitors trust and we each would get 20% so we could move out and set up new places to live. She said me getting 20% was too much.
I find out in October that she'd placed a caveat on the property back in July - i never got any of the paperwork from Land Titles - its still 'missing in post'.
3 days before the 3 month expiry deadline for Court action to be lodged in relation to caveat, her Initiating Application is lodged, soley for property matters - no mention of parenting.
We have been going back and forth in emails privately trying to negotiate a settlement, but she is not backing away from 75% despite knowing her legal costs would eat away a lot.
She is very emotional and i am very matter of fact. I have not progressed property mediation as i believe it is doomed to fail and see no reason to spend/waste $2-3k.
Q. Having said all above, do i get a lawyer and potentially eat 30%-50% of my settlement? Or self-represent?
Thank you to anyone who reads this and responds (even if just to say good luck).
Joshua
I've been reading this forum and am impressed with the quality of responses and the generosity of time members provide to others. I would like to hire and pay one of you for a day rather than the numerous solicitors I've been making enquiries on who don't really seem to be listening.
I have so many questions i don't know where to start. Not sure either how to keep this brief. Sorry in advance as not exactly sure this will be in correct posting format.
Questions involve seperation/divorce, property settlement, caveat, parenting.
My main stress point this evening is deciding whether to engage a solicitor for my famly and property matters, or whether to self-represent. Never involved in personal law matters before but I have some minor involvement in my professional work. I'm a capable researcher, writer, and speaker, just not a lawyer. And i fully recognise that they have skills and experience that i don't.
I've got very differing advice from family and friends; from go it alone as what lawyers add does not justify their fees; to make sure you lawyer up.
Previously we attended family mediation and agreed to shared parenting - not yet formalised though through Consent Orders???
I've recently found what seems to be an engaged and caring lawyer who has agreed to defer fees (with 20% uplift ???) and am due to properly meet with them later this week.
But i feel taking this step will prove too expensive when considered against the asset pool.
The matrimonial asset pool is not overly much, $400k or so, with my ex privately offering 90/10 split in her favour and now asking for 75/25 in her Initiating Application. I had offered her a 60/40 split in her favour which she rejected.
I am broke. But I work full-time on a good income ($100k) and the matrimonial house is 100% in my name on title, with a mortgage in joint names. Living pay to pay, two children aged 5 yrs and 2 years - we started falling behind on the bills this past January 2018. By April I got my 1st Default Notice on a credit card and within a couple of weeks of that, my ex stated she wanted a divorce, apologised for stringing me along for so long, and admitted she didn't love me. Long story short is i feel i was used for my income and high credit rating so she could get house/s.
We are all living under the same roof - which is very difficult. I am constantly in fear she'll try for a DVO. She has become antaganistic, uncommunicative, paranoid, irrational and unpleasant. I am facing a smear campaign at the moment whereby everyone she talks to, she makes me out to be a monster. Neighbors, family and friends.
FACTS:
Together for 8 years and married the last 4.5 years. Seperation May 2018.
She contributed a house (she rents out) pre-marriage with ~$60k equity and about $10k super. I contributed only super, about $70k. Her income, averaging 1/4 - 1/2 of mine, went mainly to the upkeep of her house, but she also contributed to living costs. Her income was reduced due to our decision for her to be a stay at home mum when our 1st was born. She had some sole trader income during the last 5 years. My income paid for living expenses and credit card bills.
During marriage we built a new home. We couldn't afford it but under severe duress i signed up. She organised everything as property is her number 1 passion in life. There are various aspects involved in the house build that i won't ho into here.
She lawyered up and asserts because she had a property pre-marriage, did most of the 'work' to build matrimonial home, and is primary caregiver to children (she works from home, i work 1 hour away) - she is entitled to such a large share. Apparently ours is considered a 'short marriage' as well but I can't find out anything on this.
We agreed to put home on market in July if i paid some painters to touch up living room. I did.
She then stated she wanted to keep house as she built it. I said she could pay me out and I'd transfer it to her.
We couldn't agree on payout/split.
I engaged two real estate agents and she engaged 1 real estate agent, but she never let me sign any of them up.
She stated she feared I'd take all the sale proceeds as house was 100% in my name.
I provided her with an undertaking that 60% of proceeds would be held in solicitors trust and we each would get 20% so we could move out and set up new places to live. She said me getting 20% was too much.
I find out in October that she'd placed a caveat on the property back in July - i never got any of the paperwork from Land Titles - its still 'missing in post'.
3 days before the 3 month expiry deadline for Court action to be lodged in relation to caveat, her Initiating Application is lodged, soley for property matters - no mention of parenting.
We have been going back and forth in emails privately trying to negotiate a settlement, but she is not backing away from 75% despite knowing her legal costs would eat away a lot.
She is very emotional and i am very matter of fact. I have not progressed property mediation as i believe it is doomed to fail and see no reason to spend/waste $2-3k.
Q. Having said all above, do i get a lawyer and potentially eat 30%-50% of my settlement? Or self-represent?
Thank you to anyone who reads this and responds (even if just to say good luck).
Joshua
