QLD Seeing to the Best Interest of the Child?

[Brislady]

Hi,

I left my ex in Sept 2014 because he assaulted our son and after lots of verbal and emotional abuse. I have provided to the courts 4 separate reports showing contact with his father was and is still severely affecting the child, yet because he did a parenting course and anger management course, he still gets to see my son.

The teachers have written a statement advising of his developmental delays and his speech therapist plus his clinical psychologist but the judge just wants to hear that the dad is getting to see his son and doesn't care.

I have Legal Aid but my lawyer just keeps telling me that I have to give him more contact and after seeing the clinical psychologist for over 18 months, have been told to take him to a new one as my ex and I used to see her in the past and my ex is saying I'm making it all up.

I have not got the money for a new psychologist and it took months before my son ever said anything to her. She would get both me and my son's Kindy teachers to complete questionnaires and have appointments with my son before she wrote her reports but it just doesn't feel like anyone cares that this effects him every day.

I am home alone with my boy when he cries or has nightmares. Others see him shaking and his erratic behaviours but don't know why. I feel like I'm failing him because I can't cut off the visits to allow him to recover and because I have a interim order I have to make him go to the visits.

 

[Lance]

Hi,
I have a story from when I was 15. My Dad had left my Mum with me and my 2 brothers when I was 14. A year later he filed for divorce and Mum went to legal aid and was told to just sign it and be done with it. I new my Dad and told Mum not to sign yet, I had a gut feeling. Anyway within months of signing legislation changed that would have seen her entitled to Superannuation etc..... My Dad was rich, years later he retired with millions. Unfortunately my message is while there are some good legal aid lawyers there are some not so good. In my Mum's case her lawyer should have know about the changes that would be coming into effect. In your case it sounds like your Lawyer should be pushing the point of all these red flags and find a way to demand supervised visits. I don't have a solution and for that I'm sorry, but you might want to make contact with the Luke Batty foundation Never Alone
They can point you towards help.

 

[AllForHer]

So, the Court isn't interested in reports acquired by you. Unless these professionals have also spoken to and included dad in the process, they're not worth the paper they're printed on to the Court because they are viewed as partisan in your favour.

What you need is a family report ordered ordered by the Court.

It sounds to me like dad is going to great lengths to have a relationship with his child. You are better off appreciating and supporting that effort or risk losing your son all together.

 

[MartyK]

I left my ex in sept 2014 because he assaulted our son and after lots of verbal and emotional abuse.

Was this reported to the police?

I have provided to the courts 4 separate reports showing contact with his father was and is still severely effecting the child yet because he did a parenting course and anger management course he still gets to see my son.

How often is the father presently seeing the child?

The teachers have written a statement advising of his developmental delays and his speech Thearpist plus his clinical phycologist but the judge just wants to hear that the dad is getting to see his son and doesn't care.

Unfortunately, your biggest challenge here will be overcoming the general ingrained mentality of the Court system (i.e. Judges who were previousy lawyers, and lawyers who are not medics!) to treat the reports of 'external' allied health/medical professionals of your son, as being relevant (not all Judges or lawyers will ignore them). But in terms of the Court, moreso, mostly over their own 'internal' investigations i.e. the report of a family consultant which is usually the product of a 1-2 hour interview/observation conducted by a social worker or psychologist, with no previous working relationship with the child/ren and/or the parents, and who, may or may not have any specialist training in the areas raised.

Sorry for being cynical, but I have seen parents try to fight for their children, with known histories of emotional/behaviour difficulties or disabilities and had these real issues, downplayed or dismissed due to ignorance, of 'experts' and the Courts, one too many times.

This has unfortunately also applied to parents fighting to spend time with their children, who have been diagnosed with certain neurological disorders, even when the children have always been, and are, perfectly safe in their care.

I have legal aid but my lawyer just keeps telling me that I have to give him more contact...

Is there a reason for this i.e. is the lawyers position derived from that presently being taken by the Judge?

If you believe your lawyer is acting against the safety and welfare of your son, then you might like to make a formal complaint to Legal Aid and request a new lawyer.

I have not got the money for a new phycologist as the last bilked billed and it took months before my son ever said anything too her.

If your son has been seeing the same psychologist for 18 months then it may be disruptive to his progress (and cause significant regression) if you change his therapist at this point. I would personally suggest that you take caution following any advice given to you in this regard.

She would get both me and my son's Kindy teachers to complete questionnaires and have appointments with my son before she wrote her reports but it just doesn't feel like anyone cares that this effects him every day.

I am home alone with my boy when he cries or has nightmares others see him shaking and his erratic behaviours but don't know why.

Stay strong for your son! At the end of the day, all you can do is present the issues to the Court and hope they will be given sufficient weight.

Keep in mind, that a disability or behavioural or emotional challenges of/for a child, are not usually a good enough reason to prevent a relationship between a parent and a child. My biggest concern from your post is the assault of the child by the father. Good luck