Recovery Order?

[sammy01]

oh wow. You'd better start planning on how you're gonna be changing your world around so that you can manage being primary carers. GOOD.

Just make sure you focus your case on how you're prepared to facilitate the relationship between mum and kid... Clearly something she can't do.... That will stop the judge being in a position of choosing one parent over the other and choosing HER because that is what the kid is used to. Look, I don't think you have much to worry about and I think you mentioned a 11/3 split... Good.

 

[Immismum]

So I suppose the next question is, will she send the child to school on Monday, and if she does, will go you and try to pick him up?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Yes we've asked for 11 days a fortnight and even though we have concerns with the mother's parenting, we understand how important it is for the child to have a relationship with her.

My partner happens to have tomorrow off of work, so if the child does go to school now the lock down has been lifted (mother has been ordered to take the child to school) he will try to pick up the child.
Usually it's hard because we both work so the child would go to after school care and the mum would go get him from there. The judge actually asked my partner why he hadnt gone to get the child (becuase the child wasnt going to school) so he wants to be seen to be doing everything he can. But we do worry that the mother will just go in early to collect the child from school the following day. She doesn't work so can go anytime.

Out of curiosity. If we were to be ordered 11 days a fortnight, or full custody on an interim basis, what would happen if the mother went into the school and took the child and continued to refuse to facilitate time? Would we just have to wait until the next court date?

We are hoping the judge will approve an ICL, but I'm not sure what power they have over issues like this.

 

[sammy01]

Remind me... Do you have a solicitor.
BTW I just PM'd you... Have a look at the top right of the screen. There is an envelope... Click that...
I reckon you need to chill. IF mum picks up the kid in your week SWEET. You wanna seek an order that give you sole parental responsibility for education. Basically you want something that tells the school that they MUST NOT release the kid into mum's care unless it is an emergency and you can't be located. That is achievable, especially if mum picks the child up from school during your time.

 

[Immismum]

i Imagine part of the reason your partner has t gone to her house to pick the kid up would be a fear of the mother using that to get an intervention order which would further put at risk the fathers relationship with the child. You might like to think about how to word that to a judge.

 

[Immismum]

Does the mother have a solicitor? Or is she self represented too?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

We are both currently self-representing. However, we used a lawyer to write the application and orders at the start.

My partner would definitely never go to the mother's house, the drama that would cause. Changeover is at the school, which is why the judge asked why my partner hadn't collected the child. Time will tell if he goes tomorrow. If he does we will contact his school and see if they can suggest the most appropriate way for us to collect him without causing a scene.

Really hoping we hear from the Judge's chambers soon regarding a court date, so we can be advised of the Judge's decision for our interim application. He said likely within two weeks. Tomorrow it is a week since the first hearing, and I am presuming they will need to provide a weeks or more notice to ensure both parents can attend.

 

[Immismum]

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m more curious than I should be. Did the child go to school on Monday? And did you get to go and pick them up?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

The child did go to school and we did try to pick him up and it was horrible.
The mum seems to have had a plan for the school to follow and the child was notified we were coming and put into a seperate room with 2 teachers before we got there, and were fairly sure they called the mum and let her speak to the child.

The child was in a really bad way, kept yelling and screaming he couldn't go, but he couldn't tell us why. It seems the mum's brainwashed him and he thinks something bad will happen if he comes with us.

My partner was in pieces as we've never seen my step son like this before. We didn't end up taking him as it's likely his mum would have taken him back the next day and we think it would have been too upsetting for him. How can we promise he's allowed to spend time with us and not get in trouble if she can take him back and say he's not? He wouldn't trust us.

We're going to ask for orders stopping the mum from being allowed on the school premises when the child is in our care, but not sure how the judge will make her comply. Were also requestint an ICL and a therapy for the child by someone trained in kind of thing.

We're honestly heartbroken someone would do this to a child.

 

[Immismum]

How utterly heartbreaking for you and your partner. I’m so sorry it has come to that. I hope something can be sorted so that he feels safe spending time with you.
Just curiously, has the ex put an application in for child support to be assessed as 100% care her way? Could that be a motivating factor?