Recovery Order?

[JadeGoldCoast]

We haven't heard from child support which is odd, but I figured that was due to us having orders for shared care still. However, child is diagnosed ASD so mum is on the carers pension, has carers allowance, family tax A and B and child support. I'm gonna guess it's the risk of losing all that which is a motivating factor. But in all honesty she's always had the 'it's my son i make the rules' attitude.

What I forgot to mention last night was as soon as we told the child we weren't taking him home, he completely relaxed. Gave us cuddles and a kiss on the cheek each. Then as we went to leave he called out to my partner, we turned around and he had stood up with his arms wide and asked for a cuddle. My parent said of course and he ran and jumped into a bear hug.

This seemed to really confuse the teachers. I'm sure they'ves been informed were abusive, but what child that's been abused does that? He isn't scared of us, he's scared of getting trouble for going with us. The special needs teacher present followed us out and agreed something isn't right and asked for us to see if the courts can help. This is out of their expertise and experience.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

I was wondering if anyone had a suggestion on orders moving forward? Our interim application being considered by the judge is for 11 days per fortnight.
Now we are aware the child is being actively directed not to spend time with us, do we ask for 3 months sole custody? And a family report?

We're going to be asking for an order prohibiting mum from entering school ground during our care, does anyone have this order? Can schools say they're not aware who the child should be with? Do we request full educational responsibility and say my partner needs to approve the mother collecting the child?

We are really concerned about the childs mental health and know we will need to spend time convincing him he is allowed to see us without something bad happening. If anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears!

 

[sammy01]

Yep - sole parental responsibilty re: education and a clearly articulated order stating the mother must not pick up the child from school early.
3 month stint with you guys to re-train him to not fear being caught between a rock and a hard place AND frankly, to get mum to understand that she has to stop with the BS....

As far as the school goes. You want clearly defined orders about school. And then you take the school to task if they're intervening in a way that prevents the orders from applying. If the principal doesn't play nice, you want to write to the director... But i reckon when you ask the principal for the complaint handling procedure and information on who you should write to if you're not satisfied with the way the school has handled this, you're gonna have one very anxious principal... GOOD.

You guys become primary carer. Look you might still wind up only with 50/50 BUT 50/50 is a huge win. Most blokes can only dream of 50/50. The fact that you've got that indicates to me that the background is such that the judges know there are issues here.

Look, I'd advise against asking for a family report. If the judge feels he needs an expert report he will order one.

 

[Rod]

Look, I'd advise against asking for a family report. If the judge feels he needs an expert report he will order one.

I agree, don't take the risk the family report will be kind to you.

I'd be asking for 12 months for the retraining.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Thanks Sammy and Rod, thanks for the heads up about the family report. The last court case's report was really positive for us, but with the child in his current mental state I agree it likely won't go in our favour. The judge said he wanted to figure out his interim decision before even considering a family report so hopefully that's good.

I guess we are worried we will look as bad as the mother if we request a time frame of full custody (she always requests sole custody). But we also want to show we have genuine concerns and we do not know how to parent with someone who will simply not follow orders.

Rod, 12 months seems like a long time, would it make sense to request an order for 3 months, or a time frame the judge deems in the child's best interests?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Sorry for the second post. Would requesting time for 'retraining' be the appropriate term to use in an affidavit? We are going to lodge an application in a case so trying to get the wording correct. Thanks

 

[Bananatree]

Thanks Sammy and Rod, thanks for the heads up about the family report. The last court case's report was really positive for us, but with the child in his current mental state I agree it likely won't go in our favour. The judge said he wanted to figure out his interim decision before even considering a family report so hopefully that's good.

I guess we are worried we will look as bad as the mother if we request a time frame of full custody (she always requests sole custody). But we also want to show we have genuine concerns and we do not know how to parent with someone who will simply not follow orders.

Rod, 12 months seems like a long time, would it make sense to request an order for 3 months, or a time frame the judge deems in the child's best interests?

Hello,
Just with your concerns re not being seen as fair when asking for sole custody... I think there is a line whereby under it you want to be seen as fair, once you get over it your job us to show you are protecting the child. In our case we had genuine concerns but requested 50/50 care initially. All of the concerns were basically ignored because 'if you're happy for shared care your concerns must not be genuine' (almost quoting). Shared care was granted and now, 2 years later, we are now in the position where we could have written your posts but have applied back to the court and have an upcoming evatt list hearing because unsurprisingly things just got worse. So my point is if you want your concerns to be taken seriously requesting sole parental responsibility may be the way you need to go.
Good luck! And thankyou for keeping your post updated, I think a lot of us are following with interest and support!

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi Bananatree, thank you for your response. I've just read up about the Evatt list. My partner also had to participate in the lighthouse project, it's unfortunate that our concerns were not as great for the child's safety then so we missed out. It sounds like the pilot study is working well though, I hope you are getting support for your situation quicker than the usual slow process.

I was wondering if anyone could view the amended interim orders for our application in a case and let me know what you think - I have made bold the new orders. I wasn't sure if we should suggest supervised care with the mother or let the judge make that call.

1. That Orders 1 to 4 and 6 to 32 of the Consent Orders made on 4 April 2019 remain in full force and effect.
2. That Order 5 of the Consent Orders made on 4 April 2019 be discharged and replaced with Order 3 hereunder.
3. That the child live with the Father for a period of 3 months – or a period this Honourable Court deems to be in the child’s best interests.
4. That the father has sole parental responsibility in regards to the child’s education.
5. That the mother be prohibited from attending upon XXXX School or Outside Hours School Care to collect the child unless authorised by the father, or in an emergency situation if the father and the father’s listed emergency contacts cannot be contacted.
6. That the mother’s family be prohibited from seeking the child out at his school and passing on messages from the mother.
7.That the mother and mother's family be prohibited from seeking the child out at the father's home or at the child's extra curricular activity locations.
8. That the Father have leave to further particularise the Orders he seeks on a final basis.
9. That the mother pay the Father’s costs and incidentals to this Application.
10. Such other Order as this Honourable Court deems meet.

In regards to order 6, the child's maternal grandmother has 4 children in the same school and seems to always be there acting like she runs the place. This I believe is one of the main reason we are receiving no support from the school, she is friends with some of the staff in the office and the school admin seem to believe we are abusive drug dealers or something.

In regards to order 7, we got a call from the child's swimming school (has attended two times a week in our care for 2.5 years because the mother wasn't interested in taking him) advising the maternal grandmother had advised that mother now has full custody of the child and wants to cancel our swimming contract and start her own. Manager of swim school called concerned as she said this could cause problems for us in the long term as we would effectively need permission from grandma for child to attend classes in our care. We advised we are in court and to change nothing for now.

Trying to make the courts as specific as possible but don't want to come across petty?

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Sorry, should I also add an order for an ICL to be appointed? And is there a way to request a recovery order if these orders are not followed? For example if the mother doesn't take the child to school.

 

[Rod]

I'd be making order 3 for 6 or even 12 months. Psychological issues can take a while to sort out and 3 months will go very very quickly.

Not sure why you use the term 'seeking'. My preference would be use words like " ... must not communicate or remove ..."

While it is unusual, you may want to ask the court to consider making the school a party to the orders by prohibiting them from releasing the child into the care of anyone but the people you nominate. Courts generally do not like putting orders on non-parties but it may be warranted here if the maternal side has such a strong influence at the school.