QLD Mum of 3 father moved my kids to Victoria without my consent

[Sharon Maree Lyndon]

Hi my ex partner and split 9yrs ago and at first I had my children but after some health issues my children ended up with their father which at the time they were only 6mths, 2yrs, 6yrs, 12yrs and 14yrs. My ex was a violent towards me when we we're together and every other kind of abuse you can think of, I had numerous DVO taken out on him over the 15yrs we were together and back then he broke them more times than I could court without any action from police except a few hours in the watch house. My ex's violence has extended to my two older children who r 23 and 21 and for my 2 daughters they put up with him abusing them and telling them how much they were like me, and for my boys well my eldest son ended up meeting his father's fist once he became 16ish, and I worry everyday what is going to happen to my younger boys as they were brought up to say the nastiest things to my face and over the phone when I did have contact which was always very limited and my ex even telling my children I never wanted them. Myself and my brother, sister and mother all called DOCS and asked them to investigate and I even told them to do surprise visits and all I got was a letter informing me that he was an outstanding parent. Even through he drinks everyday from the time he get up, smokes pot and even uses ice, my daughter even rang DOCS and the police and told them everything when she left at 16yrs old to the point she told them where he stashed everything and nothing came out of that either. It was like everytime the police were called or anything he got away with it. So he has been in Victoria now for 4yrs I have only seen my children once since they have been there and the 3yrs the were in Queensland before they left I only saw a handful of time as my ex limited me on when I could see them. I have lived with the threats of be hurt by him if I ever go near my children without his permission and I had to see them when he said and under his roof which I didn't do without someone knowing where I was or with me as I did not trust him as he has hurt be badly before a his poor elderly father who has lived with him has put up with abuse as well and only stayed because of the children and in the process was robbed of his pension every week.

So I don't know if I have a case but I would sure like to find out where I stand as I miss my children so much and they deserve better than what they are getting from him, he just gives them money and sends them off to the shop and out of his hair.

 

[Hummingbird]

What sort of arrangement are you looking for? Are you wanting to get visitation on the odd weekend and school holidays, or are you now requesting full custody?

What does not work in your favour is the length of time between when the relocation happened, your visitation was severely reduced, and now. The longer the kids are away before you take action, the lower your chances of success. This also applies to domestic violence and safety issues. Either the kids were in danger and you could have kept them then and filed, or you have been aware of continued risk to the kids but at some point stopped acting once they arise. You could probably get an order to enable some contact but if your ex has been able to dodge all those DVOs and drug allegations, change in primary custody sounds unlikely. Take whatever evidence you have of threats against you or other interference with allowing you to see your kids, and consult a lawyer for your options.

 

[Sharon Maree Lyndon]

I'm after whatever I can get anytime with my children is better than no time at all and it took me four yrs to find him in Victoria. He doesn't allow phone calls or any contact even when they lived in Queensland and I have only recently found out about the recovery order and I don't have proof of the threats. Also I have tried everything to get the police and DOCS to do something about the safety of my children and no one would listen to me or my family, even my eldest daughter tried with no success. Also when my ex live in Queensland I didn't know where he was until about six or so months before he upped and left. I have never been able to talk on the phone with my children as he was always right beside them and always making rude and abusive comments even in front of them about me. I was with my ex partner for 15yrs. I was only 16 when we meet and he was 24 and within the first 12mths is when the physical abuse started even while I was pregnant with our daughter. By that time he had full control of every part of my life and I was young and I was so badly abused as a child by my grandfather, that I thought he loved me and just put up with it. He put me in hospital and nearly ended my life twice and after that is when I got the courage to leave. But even after I left I didn't realize he would still control most of my life especially my relationship with my children. I have struggled every day with what he has done to me and my kids and I don't know how I could ever repair the emotional damage he has done to me and my children. I still have nightmares about him waking me in the middle of the night when he would come home drunk and on drugs and start punching me for no reason at all. So if there is some hope I will hold on to it......

 

[Hummingbird]

It sounds like you need to get some orders in place. Despite the fact he is not currently negotiating with you and won't allow time at all, try mediation, either privately or through Relationships Australia. That way you can get the 60i certificate if he doesn't participate, which you can then take to start getting court orders. If you go straight to court they will most likely not proceed further until mediation is attempted or court ordered.

Document absolutely everything from now on. If you can and its legal, record phone calls between youraelf and the ex. Have a backup for texts, and emails. From now on every time he makes threats or abuses you, or denies requests to see kids, it's evidence. You have a complicated history pattern with this ex being able to continue to abuse your kids, you need a lawyer to sit down with you even for one appointment and set out what your pathway to orders should be. Have you tried legal aid?

 

[Sharon Maree Lyndon]

It sounds like you need to get some orders in place. Despite the fact he is not currently negotiating with you and won't allow time at all, try mediation, either privately or through Relationships Australia. That way you can get the 60i certificate if he doesn't participate, which you can then take to start getting court orders. If you go straight to court they will most likely not proceed further until mediation is attempted or court ordered.

Document absolutely everything from now on. If you can and its legal, record phone calls between youraelf and the ex. Have a backup for texts, and emails. From now on every time he makes threats or abuses you, or denies requests to see kids, it's evidence. You have a complicated history pattern with this ex being able to continue to abuse your kids, you need a lawyer to sit down with you even for one appointment and set out what your pathway to orders should be. Have you tried legal aid?

Thank you so much for the information I will do what I need

 

[Jess_maree95]

It sounds like you need to get some orders in place. Despite the fact he is not currently negotiating with you and won't allow time at all, try mediation, either privately or through Relationships Australia. That way you can get the 60i certificate if he doesn't participate, which you can then take to start getting court orders. If you go straight to court they will most likely not proceed further until mediation is attempted or court ordered.

Document absolutely everything from now on. If you can and its legal, record phone calls between youraelf and the ex. Have a backup for texts, and emails. From now on every time he makes threats or abuses you, or denies requests to see kids, it's evidence. You have a complicated history pattern with this ex being able to continue to abuse your kids, you need a lawyer to sit down with you even for one appointment and set out what your pathway to orders should be. Have you tried legal aid?

Just to give you a heads up, I am the eldest daughter of Sharon and everything she has told you is a lie. She personally left us at my Aunts house in Qld and never returned had to file a missing person's report. She dropped off my 2 youngest siblings to our father before disappearing.

She never once tried making contact with us for years and then suddenly come back in to suddenly leave again, yes she left us with an abusive father but not once tried fighting to get us back. I was 14 when she left us and seen,heard everything that happened.