Hi,
This is my first time posting so I hope I’m doing it correctly.
I also apologise for the long post.
As my username states I’m a broken man, I’ve lost everything, Ive lived in a deep depression and cried daily most of the past 2 years due to the actions of my ex wife.
I’ve got two amazing kids, 8 and 13 who always loved their dad and always wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. And I absolutely feel the same way with them.
We had an amazing relationship and I cared and loved them from the minute they were born. I still do and just thinking about them hurts like hell and it’s a pain that hasn’t gone away and has only got worse with time.
My marriage started to break down over the past few years and as I could no longer handle her abusive, narcissistic, manipulative and gas lighting behaviour which was affecting my mental health and I had no option than to move out.
The first month living alone was tough as I missed my kids and our family life. They would come and visit and we’d still have fun but when it was time to go home they would break down and cry because they missed me and didn’t want to leave. There was also a sadness in their eyes that I had never seen before.
This broke my heart every time the had to leave and would keep me up all night crying and sobbing.
When it was evident I wasn’t going back to my ex, I noticed that my kids gradually stopped coming around and stopped phoning and FaceTiming me.
I still went around to visit and while I was there one day the police turned up and charged me with domestic violence. I was stunned as I was going about my day and the next thing I’m in hand cuffs in a paddy wagon and then in a cell for 6 hours and having my finger prints and a mug shot taken.
I can’t believe someone who I was married to for 15 years did this to me.
I’m then released with charges of domestic violence and a very restrictive ADVO stating I couldn’t go anywhere near the house, her or the kids.
I spiralled into a deep depression and was unable to function for about a year.
As I couldn’t see my kids the only option was to take her to court and obtain orders to see the them.
The best I got was an hour a week with each of my kids on the phone with the pleasure of paying a supervisor to listen in. It was humiliating, degrading and horrible. At $200 per hour and s report it was also sending me broke and into a bigger debt.
Of course this didn’t last more than a few months until she stopped these supervised calls and the court did nothing.
Very expensive family lawyers went no where due to her hiding behind the ADVO and I got into so much debt that I’ve had sell everything I own to finance the right to see my kids.
This has lasted two years and after reaching breaking point and spending close to $200K I’ve gotten nowhere because of the interim ADVO that remains in place and has been used as the main point of restricting access to my children.
The interim ADVO has stayed in place as my criminal hearing for the fabricatedy DV charges has been delayed a number of times due to COVID. Plus it will most likely turn into a final ADVO after my hearing restricting me for another two years.
After being destroyed as a person and a father and being broken permanently I decided that I could no longer do this.
I had no option than to give my lawyers notice and to give up. I tied to convince myself that I was a good dad and fought for my kids for this long but just couldn’t do it anymore, but the thoughts of being a bad father always persisted and so did the thoughts and memories of my kids.
Before I lose even more I want to file with the court that she can have sole parental custody as she’s coached the kids on everything and I’m fighting a losing battle and slowly losing my mind.
I guess my question is how do I admit defeat and arrange with the court to give her sole custody and just give up the fight?
As I was the applicant taking her to court I’ll also be liable for costs as I’m withdrawing myself from the proceedings. I
I really don’t know what to do or how to put an end to this and salvage whatever I have left of myself.
I just really want this torture to end.
Thank you for reading.
This is my first time posting so I hope I’m doing it correctly.
I also apologise for the long post.
As my username states I’m a broken man, I’ve lost everything, Ive lived in a deep depression and cried daily most of the past 2 years due to the actions of my ex wife.
I’ve got two amazing kids, 8 and 13 who always loved their dad and always wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. And I absolutely feel the same way with them.
We had an amazing relationship and I cared and loved them from the minute they were born. I still do and just thinking about them hurts like hell and it’s a pain that hasn’t gone away and has only got worse with time.
My marriage started to break down over the past few years and as I could no longer handle her abusive, narcissistic, manipulative and gas lighting behaviour which was affecting my mental health and I had no option than to move out.
The first month living alone was tough as I missed my kids and our family life. They would come and visit and we’d still have fun but when it was time to go home they would break down and cry because they missed me and didn’t want to leave. There was also a sadness in their eyes that I had never seen before.
This broke my heart every time the had to leave and would keep me up all night crying and sobbing.
When it was evident I wasn’t going back to my ex, I noticed that my kids gradually stopped coming around and stopped phoning and FaceTiming me.
I still went around to visit and while I was there one day the police turned up and charged me with domestic violence. I was stunned as I was going about my day and the next thing I’m in hand cuffs in a paddy wagon and then in a cell for 6 hours and having my finger prints and a mug shot taken.
I can’t believe someone who I was married to for 15 years did this to me.
I’m then released with charges of domestic violence and a very restrictive ADVO stating I couldn’t go anywhere near the house, her or the kids.
I spiralled into a deep depression and was unable to function for about a year.
As I couldn’t see my kids the only option was to take her to court and obtain orders to see the them.
The best I got was an hour a week with each of my kids on the phone with the pleasure of paying a supervisor to listen in. It was humiliating, degrading and horrible. At $200 per hour and s report it was also sending me broke and into a bigger debt.
Of course this didn’t last more than a few months until she stopped these supervised calls and the court did nothing.
Very expensive family lawyers went no where due to her hiding behind the ADVO and I got into so much debt that I’ve had sell everything I own to finance the right to see my kids.
This has lasted two years and after reaching breaking point and spending close to $200K I’ve gotten nowhere because of the interim ADVO that remains in place and has been used as the main point of restricting access to my children.
The interim ADVO has stayed in place as my criminal hearing for the fabricatedy DV charges has been delayed a number of times due to COVID. Plus it will most likely turn into a final ADVO after my hearing restricting me for another two years.
After being destroyed as a person and a father and being broken permanently I decided that I could no longer do this.
I had no option than to give my lawyers notice and to give up. I tied to convince myself that I was a good dad and fought for my kids for this long but just couldn’t do it anymore, but the thoughts of being a bad father always persisted and so did the thoughts and memories of my kids.
Before I lose even more I want to file with the court that she can have sole parental custody as she’s coached the kids on everything and I’m fighting a losing battle and slowly losing my mind.
I guess my question is how do I admit defeat and arrange with the court to give her sole custody and just give up the fight?
As I was the applicant taking her to court I’ll also be liable for costs as I’m withdrawing myself from the proceedings. I
I really don’t know what to do or how to put an end to this and salvage whatever I have left of myself.
I just really want this torture to end.
Thank you for reading.