TAS Grandmother Access to Deceased Son's Child

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HW's Nanny

9 September 2018
I am trying to obtain access to my recently deceased son's young child after the mother has suddenly decided to refuse me and my son's only sibling who actually found her brother deceased from an (previously unknown to us) medical condition, any further access after having him every weekend for 7 weeks after my son's death. After supporting her and helping her and being there for her 24/7 and doing so much for her for the first 3 months, we had to pull back a bit as it had become way too draining and was not allowing us to grieve ourselves. A very high maintenance personality became exhausting for us.

We sought advice and went to R/Australia and attended 2 appointments but the mother refused to respond but instead engaged a Lawyer, when we were told by L/Aid that we had to go through RA.
I received a letter from her Lawyer making some totally absurd allegations which then made me feel I needed to contact a Lawyer for advice.
My lawyer is negotiating with her Lawyer currently but daughter in law has her Lawyer totally hoodwinked. Having such an amazing relationship with this little boy with my daughter and her two much older cousins who absolutely adores and had such a bond with, it has ripped our hearts out again.

We very much need this dear little man in our lives and truly believe he needs us to keep his daddy's memory alive as we make new memories with him going forward. He is the only connection left of my son. We are the only connection left of his daddy.

I do not believe this child's mother, wife of only 26 days when son passed, is going to co-operate at all with mediation as we would like. It has been a month since we have had access to this little boy and it feels like we have lost one of our own.

It is devastating.

What are the options, we can't give up on this little man. We can't allow her to continue to manipulate people, and using tears and her son to play victim against the remaining small family of her son's father. Grandmother, Auntie and 2 male cousins.

There is absolutely no grounds for her actions and is motivated purely by spite and using the only weapon she has and that is just so wrong.

We didn't want a fight to have our continued access with this little boy, but give up on him we won't. We have had no direct contact with the mother since receiving Lawyers letter. Will not engage her at all for fear of the all too easy to obtain restraining orders. That is the last thing we need and feel she would be waiting for us to breathe the wrong way and that is the action she will take.

We will not give her any reason for her to take that action.

What do we need to do to state our case and expose her unjust motivations and do what is best for her son and not act out of spite.

Please, if anyone can help with knowledge and wisdom, it would be so appreciated.

We are just so broken right now.



Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
Ok...the good thing is your grandson has every right to continue to be in your life...Don't bother ever saying it the other way around...you don't have any rights in this ridiculous system. It's all about the "best interests of the child"...well so they tell us.

Ok, first up, what did the idiots at RA actually achieve other than nothing? Do you have a s60i certificate so that you can proceed to court? If not, then you will have to contact RA tomorrow and ask them for one, and/or they will say oh we will have to organise meditation first... keep the pressure on them if they do this as they have been known to take upto 3 months to make this mediation take place.

I'll cut n paste the rest. You've done upto point 5...

Heres how it works;
1. Contact Relationships Australia in your township or nearest town.
2.Tell them you would like to carry out Mediation in the hope of working out a "Parenting Plan" with your ex. Hand over all of their details as well.
3. Carry out mediation and make sure you are issued with a Certificate 60i. Even if mediation fails, get this certificate issued to you.
4. Even if you were or weren't successful in carrying out mediation...next step is Federal Circuit Court to turn the parenting plan into court orders.
5. Go to the Federal circuit court website, download an "Initiating application ( form ) " fill it in. Include in it really good "interim orders" and "final orders". Do some research on this.
6. Prepare your Affidavit, your Annexures, and your "Notice of Risk". I would advise you see a family lawyer at this point for an hour or two just to get some help. Cost $200 to $600
7. Get it signed by a JP.
8. File it with the Federal Circuit Court you can do this online as well it will cost a few hundred dollars. But cheaper than a Barrister.
9. When the documents are stamped by the Federal Circuit Court and you are given your court date. Then print them all out.
10. You have to "serve" them on your ex. You will have to use an outside firm to do this you cannot do it yourself. Approx $150
11. Wait for your court date
Hope this helps and keeps the costs down

The good thing is if you act quickly you might actually get a few hours of visitation this Christmas Day. I hear the courts down your way are very proactive when it comes to Child-Grandparent relationships.