Hello,
Lengthy story, but will try keep it brief.
My partner and I are both going through separations. Full disclosure, us and our respective partners were all friends, and our relationship started prior to the eventual dissolve of both of our marriages. (many pre-existing issues in both of our marriages, but not really relevant, except to say there is a lot of anger).
Our 4 children (2 each), were all very close. The older 3 especially. The 4th is younger and opposite gender. All children are aged 10 and under.
We shared things such as holidays, sports, regular babysitting/sleepovers, I'd look after their children and take them to school every week.
One of my children child has ASD and ADHD, diagnosed within the last few years, under care of paediatrician, and attends regular various therapies. Partners ex was very aware of this and the challenges my child faced, and supportive of the children's close bond and friendship.
After separation, we initially had our children at the same weekend. My children are 50/50 with their other parent. Ex has majority time with their children, 10 nights out of 14. Refuses to allow any additional time with us.
One time we had children together, an incident arose, we dealt with appropriately. However, once partner's children returned to other parent, a different version was told to that parent, who has absolutely flown off handle, and gone to the police. My partner tried to discuss this to explain, however other parent refused to attend at the same time.
There is absolutely no substance to the ex-partners claims, the children have been manipulated and force fed a story, they are too young to know any different.
I don't want to put details on here but happy to elaborate for context in private message.
The next thing was a letter saying the children were not to be handed over to my partner. Ex withheld access until mediation could be arranged (ex delayed this session for several months). The only option was for my partner to agree to our children being separated, or ex refused to allow any handing over of children. Partner had to agree at that time as no other choice was offered to enable time.
Ex has so far accessed free legal support through a legal service. Works minimum hours, with holds access to children unless on ex's terms. Ex is dragging out property settlement and pursuing 65% plus other various things wanting financial costs for. (it's a small property pool between them, less than 100k)
My partner is self funding all legal costs, pays all child support and has always done so. Is an excellent parent whom children adore and desperately wish to spend more time with. Income is on par with average Australian, so not huge. There have never been any domestic issues or voilence etc, however many arguments over the years.
Ex films partner at every exchange of children (at police station) in a concealed manner, however partner has realised this is what is happening.
So, with that as a background, has proposed consent orders. These appear aimed at minimising my partners time with children, with no allowance for any more than 4 nights per fortnight, but give ex extra time in school holidays, and specifically at removing me from any inclusion in their school life/other aspects. (I have a very good relationship with partner's children, however the youngest comes out with gems such as: you hit my parent, you punched my parent, i'm not allowed to talk to you about X eg birthday party with cousins etc), Parent smacks my bum if I talk about you (me). You and parent aren't allowed to take us camping, I'm not allowed in your car etc because (parent) said so.There are many others, all of which am trying to keep documented. They come out with this all by themselves, as young children do!
They also request an injunction against any contact ever with my 2 children (the children constantly ask when they can see each other again). My child is 10, certainly has challenging behaviours at times, however these are being addressed, and i have supporting written documentation from treating clinical psychologist explicitly stating separation is not only unnecessary and unwarranted, but also damaging to all of their children, especially given their pre-exisiting relationship. Said psychologist is happy to testify in court if needed.
Ex has now enrolled children in a private school and is requesting via consent orders partner pay 50% of all fees and costs/uniforms etc, despite being told in mediation this is not financially an option. My partner was not consulted on change of schools at any stage, in fact has not been formally notified in any communications except to receive paperwork for after school care.
I guess I have many questions, we have a meeting coming up with lawyer to address. I honestly don't see there being an agreement reached amicably, the ex has said and communicated very clearly to various parties their aim is that my partner and I, not be involved or have any more than bare minimum involvement with kids, as punishment. Even to the yelled statement at police station 'you cheated on me you will never get your kids'.
The consent orders proposed are 4-5 pages of what come across as petty, however upon reading the handbook I see many tend to follow a similar format. I really feel that given it very unlikely ex will ever agree to anything proposed my my partner (ex loses too much in child support/centrelink payments to allow any increase in shared time). Is my partner better off proceeding to court in the very first instance, however funds are extremely limited and tight, already spent thousands, and Ex has free legal support and funding. it's not practical for us to build a happy and supportive environment for our children when they are prevented from seeing each other. We all had unhappy marriages and are very keen to provide a safe and happy environment for all the kids. As a child of divorced parents I'm acutely aware of what kids are exposed to, we are very conscious of this around all 4 children to make sure we don't expose them or use them as pawns in this situation.
Just don;t know if judge is likely to agree to an injunction against my children. I work in a field where I am a mandated reporter, there is no criminal or abuse or violence issues or anything like that involved. Just a very angry party, using children as a power and control and revenge tool.
Lengthy story, but will try keep it brief.
My partner and I are both going through separations. Full disclosure, us and our respective partners were all friends, and our relationship started prior to the eventual dissolve of both of our marriages. (many pre-existing issues in both of our marriages, but not really relevant, except to say there is a lot of anger).
Our 4 children (2 each), were all very close. The older 3 especially. The 4th is younger and opposite gender. All children are aged 10 and under.
We shared things such as holidays, sports, regular babysitting/sleepovers, I'd look after their children and take them to school every week.
One of my children child has ASD and ADHD, diagnosed within the last few years, under care of paediatrician, and attends regular various therapies. Partners ex was very aware of this and the challenges my child faced, and supportive of the children's close bond and friendship.
After separation, we initially had our children at the same weekend. My children are 50/50 with their other parent. Ex has majority time with their children, 10 nights out of 14. Refuses to allow any additional time with us.
One time we had children together, an incident arose, we dealt with appropriately. However, once partner's children returned to other parent, a different version was told to that parent, who has absolutely flown off handle, and gone to the police. My partner tried to discuss this to explain, however other parent refused to attend at the same time.
There is absolutely no substance to the ex-partners claims, the children have been manipulated and force fed a story, they are too young to know any different.
I don't want to put details on here but happy to elaborate for context in private message.
The next thing was a letter saying the children were not to be handed over to my partner. Ex withheld access until mediation could be arranged (ex delayed this session for several months). The only option was for my partner to agree to our children being separated, or ex refused to allow any handing over of children. Partner had to agree at that time as no other choice was offered to enable time.
Ex has so far accessed free legal support through a legal service. Works minimum hours, with holds access to children unless on ex's terms. Ex is dragging out property settlement and pursuing 65% plus other various things wanting financial costs for. (it's a small property pool between them, less than 100k)
My partner is self funding all legal costs, pays all child support and has always done so. Is an excellent parent whom children adore and desperately wish to spend more time with. Income is on par with average Australian, so not huge. There have never been any domestic issues or voilence etc, however many arguments over the years.
Ex films partner at every exchange of children (at police station) in a concealed manner, however partner has realised this is what is happening.
So, with that as a background, has proposed consent orders. These appear aimed at minimising my partners time with children, with no allowance for any more than 4 nights per fortnight, but give ex extra time in school holidays, and specifically at removing me from any inclusion in their school life/other aspects. (I have a very good relationship with partner's children, however the youngest comes out with gems such as: you hit my parent, you punched my parent, i'm not allowed to talk to you about X eg birthday party with cousins etc), Parent smacks my bum if I talk about you (me). You and parent aren't allowed to take us camping, I'm not allowed in your car etc because (parent) said so.There are many others, all of which am trying to keep documented. They come out with this all by themselves, as young children do!
They also request an injunction against any contact ever with my 2 children (the children constantly ask when they can see each other again). My child is 10, certainly has challenging behaviours at times, however these are being addressed, and i have supporting written documentation from treating clinical psychologist explicitly stating separation is not only unnecessary and unwarranted, but also damaging to all of their children, especially given their pre-exisiting relationship. Said psychologist is happy to testify in court if needed.
Ex has now enrolled children in a private school and is requesting via consent orders partner pay 50% of all fees and costs/uniforms etc, despite being told in mediation this is not financially an option. My partner was not consulted on change of schools at any stage, in fact has not been formally notified in any communications except to receive paperwork for after school care.
I guess I have many questions, we have a meeting coming up with lawyer to address. I honestly don't see there being an agreement reached amicably, the ex has said and communicated very clearly to various parties their aim is that my partner and I, not be involved or have any more than bare minimum involvement with kids, as punishment. Even to the yelled statement at police station 'you cheated on me you will never get your kids'.
The consent orders proposed are 4-5 pages of what come across as petty, however upon reading the handbook I see many tend to follow a similar format. I really feel that given it very unlikely ex will ever agree to anything proposed my my partner (ex loses too much in child support/centrelink payments to allow any increase in shared time). Is my partner better off proceeding to court in the very first instance, however funds are extremely limited and tight, already spent thousands, and Ex has free legal support and funding. it's not practical for us to build a happy and supportive environment for our children when they are prevented from seeing each other. We all had unhappy marriages and are very keen to provide a safe and happy environment for all the kids. As a child of divorced parents I'm acutely aware of what kids are exposed to, we are very conscious of this around all 4 children to make sure we don't expose them or use them as pawns in this situation.
Just don;t know if judge is likely to agree to an injunction against my children. I work in a field where I am a mandated reporter, there is no criminal or abuse or violence issues or anything like that involved. Just a very angry party, using children as a power and control and revenge tool.
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