Hi
Divorce has occurred, all sorted etc etc but now I wonder if the mother is providing a suitable environment for the children and if I need to act. I don't have a family lawyer as during the process it became so protracted and drawn out I got sick of the $500 and $1000 letters that were never replied to, so I ended up self representing with excellent results, despite going up against a barrister.
The current children's arrangements are the two children M11 and F8 are with their mother 6 nights one week and 3 nights other week, plus I have some holiday time, all adds up to 6 nights a fortnight, I have asked the mother for some time now to go to week about (the children want this too), but the mother does not want this, mainly as she feels it would impact her payments from child support etc. I have avoided asking the question of the court as it is disruptive to everyone concerned, including the children, but I am comfortable engaging with the court if need be as I have a good handle on the process, forms, lodging etc.
Now the mother has moved to a new rental, after being kicked out of the old one for failing too many inspections, not doing gardens etc and moved into a two bedroom place where the children must share a room - I think not so good as while they are very close siblings, the boy has definitely started puberty. Also it has been some weeks and the children don't have beds as the two single beds won't fit in the room so they need a bunk. They tell me they are sleeping on the floor, or in her bed with her. She says she has no money to buy a bunk, but she gets over $3k a month from me in assorted payments and I could find multiple bunks for sale in the area for $100 or less, and yet she just got herself a new iphone.
Also, last week had meeting with the teachers at school and they mentioned both children a very tired and I raised the issue of bedding with the teachers. One of them commented the school was affiliated with people that could help with essential furniture etc in cases like this, but I feel the issue is not really financial, given the 3k a month..
I have a house where they have their own rooms and beds, in the same school zone, etc etc. All the requirements to allow 50/50 according to the Family Law rules are met. Plus a number of times she has asked for me to look after them out of designated times, so she can't argue that she considers my house unsuitable for them.
There have been other issues in the past, she had no fridge for six months because the other one failed, yet I when I checked I found four fridges for free in the same suburb, just needed pickup. More recently before being kicked out of her previous rental she had no hot water (so the children told me when I was asking them when they last had a shower one time) for some months as she had not paid the gas bill. For some reason I still get emailed copies of her gas bill, so I know this to be correct.
There are other issues, she is a hoarder and the children tell me they have "clear a path" to get to the toilet etc etc, but hard to know how this could be proved in court unless I ask child services to visit and when I tried this a while ago they seemed somewhat disinterested.
I am trying to go down the path of minimal disruption/harm to the children, as any court action will unsettle them, they know things are going on and I have seen it previously come out int heir behaviours when the parents are unsettled. Plus I am guessing at their age they would possibly be involved in the proceedings in some way, possible interview with court lawyer/psychologist etc.
The question is, does this reach the point where I need to act immediately and should go the court and ask to have the children live with me and visit her? If I fail to act now and decide to later, would I be viewed as accepting the current situation?
Thanks
Divorce has occurred, all sorted etc etc but now I wonder if the mother is providing a suitable environment for the children and if I need to act. I don't have a family lawyer as during the process it became so protracted and drawn out I got sick of the $500 and $1000 letters that were never replied to, so I ended up self representing with excellent results, despite going up against a barrister.
The current children's arrangements are the two children M11 and F8 are with their mother 6 nights one week and 3 nights other week, plus I have some holiday time, all adds up to 6 nights a fortnight, I have asked the mother for some time now to go to week about (the children want this too), but the mother does not want this, mainly as she feels it would impact her payments from child support etc. I have avoided asking the question of the court as it is disruptive to everyone concerned, including the children, but I am comfortable engaging with the court if need be as I have a good handle on the process, forms, lodging etc.
Now the mother has moved to a new rental, after being kicked out of the old one for failing too many inspections, not doing gardens etc and moved into a two bedroom place where the children must share a room - I think not so good as while they are very close siblings, the boy has definitely started puberty. Also it has been some weeks and the children don't have beds as the two single beds won't fit in the room so they need a bunk. They tell me they are sleeping on the floor, or in her bed with her. She says she has no money to buy a bunk, but she gets over $3k a month from me in assorted payments and I could find multiple bunks for sale in the area for $100 or less, and yet she just got herself a new iphone.
Also, last week had meeting with the teachers at school and they mentioned both children a very tired and I raised the issue of bedding with the teachers. One of them commented the school was affiliated with people that could help with essential furniture etc in cases like this, but I feel the issue is not really financial, given the 3k a month..
I have a house where they have their own rooms and beds, in the same school zone, etc etc. All the requirements to allow 50/50 according to the Family Law rules are met. Plus a number of times she has asked for me to look after them out of designated times, so she can't argue that she considers my house unsuitable for them.
There have been other issues in the past, she had no fridge for six months because the other one failed, yet I when I checked I found four fridges for free in the same suburb, just needed pickup. More recently before being kicked out of her previous rental she had no hot water (so the children told me when I was asking them when they last had a shower one time) for some months as she had not paid the gas bill. For some reason I still get emailed copies of her gas bill, so I know this to be correct.
There are other issues, she is a hoarder and the children tell me they have "clear a path" to get to the toilet etc etc, but hard to know how this could be proved in court unless I ask child services to visit and when I tried this a while ago they seemed somewhat disinterested.
I am trying to go down the path of minimal disruption/harm to the children, as any court action will unsettle them, they know things are going on and I have seen it previously come out int heir behaviours when the parents are unsettled. Plus I am guessing at their age they would possibly be involved in the proceedings in some way, possible interview with court lawyer/psychologist etc.
The question is, does this reach the point where I need to act immediately and should go the court and ask to have the children live with me and visit her? If I fail to act now and decide to later, would I be viewed as accepting the current situation?
Thanks