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VIC Custody of Children and Intervention Order through Lies - What to Do?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Harry Brown, 25 November 2015.

  1. Harry Brown

    Harry Brown Member

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    My partner recently migrated to Australia and our 2 young children were both born overseas but have Australian citizenship and I have been the sole primary carer of both children here in Australia without any help since my son was 8 months and now he is 5 years old, my daughter since she was 5 months and now she is 26 months old.

    After supporting and sponsoring her and signing a lease on a house, she told me that she did not want to be with me and demanded I give our 2 children to her and leave now that she has permanent residency but she knows I have been an exemplary father as witnessed by many people and she has also been informed that she will have difficulty getting custody of children because of the emotional attachment we have, so now she is attempting (for the second time) to abuse the legal system to destroy my credibility and take the children by bypassing the Family Court and applying for an intervention order against me based on terrible lies and distorted truths. (The first time she endangered my children, injured my son, attacked me (after drinking) but fell and hurt herself and then accused me of assault resulting in an intervention order that was withdrawn)

    She has many people from her cultural group who also abused the system, left the man who sponsored them, took the children and found new partners who are advising her on what to say and ways to beat the system and she knew none of them before we broke up last month, while she was in court having a 12 month final intervention order placed against her for an assault on my ex-wife she was heard conspiring with other women on ways to discredit me and being advised on how to take the children from me.

    I have serious concerns that the courts will not give me the opportunity to present the abundant proof I have of her history of deceit, betrayal, violence, neglect and intentional deception, allowing the children to be placed even temporarily in her care without the facts being known as she is the violent one but her accusations make me out to be a monster which could not be further from the truth as I am the most decent man and loving father around and have dedicated my life to raising my children and had no social life or companions in the 6 years.

    She knows she cost me the greatest love of my life 6 years ago with her lies. I have cancer, I am an exemplary father, I supported her for 6 years overseas while I was also taking care of the children myself, I sacrificed everything to pay for her migration and used my last ever chance to sponsor a partner. I forgave her countless betrayals and lies, she made endless promises of a wonderful, loving, affectionate and happy family life that never happened and she just wants to take everything from me and leave me with no life and no future, but I have been told there is nothing I can do about it legally.

    If her intervention order is successful then it will destroy what is left of my life in many ways, not only have I been the best father you would ever meet but I am a forgiving, generous, patient, gentle, supportive and loving partner who has never hurt her or done anything bad to her. I will never recover from this or be able to have another relationship or family because of what she has done to me and cost me and it will be too late for me but the laws must change to stop people like her abusing the system and especially intervention orders and taking very valuable resources away from the people who genuinely need help, it happened to me and it will keep happening to other men.

    Is there anything I can do to protect my children, stop her from destroying my reputation with her lies or take action against her for what she cost me (not only money) under Family Law?
     
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    sorry to hear about your situation.

    Can you give some more details about the current living arrangements for yourself and the kids? Are they named as protected persons on the AVO?
     
  3. Harry Brown

    Harry Brown Member

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    Thanks, Sammy

    She has put both the children on the application for an intervention order which will be heard on December 1st so that she can take the children before the family court proceedings and if she is successful with the order it will make it much harder to be successful through the family court.

    She and I were both told that I would be preferred as the primary carer because of our attachment and I have an exemplary reputation as a father so she has been advised by her cultural group on ways to beat the system.

    Both children have been in my sole care since they were only months old and my son is now 5 and currently with his mother and our daughter is 26 months old and is currently with me as that was the situation on the day we broke up. She demanded I leave our son with her, give her our daughter and leave but on advice, my daughter is still with me.

    We had just signed the lease on the house where she is living, but I never had the chance to sleep there before she told me she did not want to be with me so I am temporarily renting a bungalow with the option to rent the full house on this property if the children live with me.

    She is the one with the history of violence, in the past. She "unintentionally" injured our son while she was trying to attack me and has a current 12 month intervention order against her for assault on my ex-wife and my older daughter and I have seen her mistreating our son on the last 2 occasions we visited her house before she said she did not want me there.
     
  4. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    have you spoken to a solicitor...

    Look I reckon you should resist the AVO or at least ask that the kids be removed..
     
  5. Harry Brown

    Harry Brown Member

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    Yes, thanks Sammy

    As humiliating and embarrassing it will be to stand up in front of people thinking her accusations may be true, I will be there and have engaged a solicitor, to request a contested hearing in the hope that I can present evidence and witnesses but most of all I do not want my daughter to be placed with her even temporarily until that hearing because she has an issue with anger and violence, admitting she cannot control our son so how much more if she has our daughter there as well because she is going through the "terrible 2's"? She is an amazing and very smart little girl but very strong headed and has attitude, so I know first hand that she can be a handful and when she is with our son it can be a nightmare so without experience in raising children or acceptable methods of discipline, I am genuinely concerned for their welfare and safety.
     
  6. N Knight

    N Knight Well-Known Member

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    It is unfortunate what she has done to you, more and more women use the IVO system as a means to get "a quick fix". If you have been the primary carer for the children, and your 26-month-old daughter and DHHS has never been involved, I would resist the IVO application and in fact, advise the Magistrate that the children should be off the order. I would also ask the Magistrate to make an order that you have a lawyer appointed by Legal Aid.
     
  7. Harry Brown

    Harry Brown Member

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    Thank you, Nickita

    The police and nearly every legal adviser I have spoken to agree that the system is being abused and the worst thing is the new law amendments give them permission to make any lie or accusation with no need for proof and the promise of no punishment if they are proved to have lied in court. I am so disheartened as I believed in strength of justice and truth in the law and courts, but it has nothing to do with it now.

    She only made the accusations some time after we broke up and one week after I refused to withdraw from my family court application because she was advised I would have a preference as primary carer.

    The sad thing is that our children have only ever been harmed by their mother and while in her care and even recently another person and myself witnessed mistreatment of my son which was a reportable offence on 2 occasions. It was reported to DHS in detail with a full history of the situation but their reply was "we have looked into the claim but will not be taking the matter any further" yet if it was a man I know DHS would have taken the children within the hour.

    The mother is neglectful and has violence and anger issues and admitted not being able to control our son when he was only being a typical 5-year-old, so how much more when he is out of control or when my daughter is with her as well?

    A serious issue is also that my son is physically violent with our daughter and needs constant supervision when they are together. I saw him push her from the top of the steps but I was there to catch her and he constantly hits her and pushes her over but their mother sits watching TV while the children run through the house slamming doors so I am terrified what will happen if they are together and not supervised. When my daughter is injured it is too late and too worthless for me to say "I told you so".

    Legal aid were useless, they just told me to go to the courthouse and apply for a recovery order which was not possible because of the high threshold at the moment and they told me to get FLAPS to help me start the process.

    I feel so helpless and alone seeing what she is able to do to me and I am powerless to do anything.

    I had to go further into debt to retain a solicitor for the mention and at this point still have my daughter with me as the intervention order was still not issued but I fear I will lose her at the directions hearing as she may be granted an interim order at that time and she said she wants to go straight to the contested hearing.

    She has also been in contact with my church group and all of the people who were willing to stand up for me in court and swear what an exemplary father and wonderful man I am but now they have all turned against me based purely on her lies even though before speaking to her they were constantly complimenting me on how good I am as a father and they knew the stress and suffering I went through in order to make her migration possible even though she had betrayed me and used me so much.

    I honestly have no faith in the legal system as it is allowing her to say and do whatever it takes to discredit me and they only have to be "convinced" that she believes it and she is an amazing performer, that is how she got me to constantly forgive her and give so many "last chances".
     

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