QLD Custody dispute between grandmother and mother

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laura bilek

Member
11 December 2017
2
0
1
I am currently in a custody dispute with my own mother. A few years ago i made bad choices and had to go to jail for 19 months. While i was in prison my mother looked after my daughter. Now that i am out and want my daughter back she doesnt want to give her back. Even though i have been clean for almost 2 years and havent been in any trouble since i got out. B
She is now desperately trying to prove that i havent changed or that i am doing something wrong so that she can use that to try and keep my daughter. She is only 2 and a half and there has never been any docs involvement. We go back to court in March and i hope the judge or the ICL can see right through her attempt to make me look unfit. I have been trying to find comparative cases and i cant find any maybe u can help so i can see what happened in those cases thanks
 

laura bilek

Member
11 December 2017
2
0
1
I am currently in a custody dispute with my own mother. A few years ago i made bad choices and had to go to jail for 19 months. While i was in prison my mother looked after my daughter. Now that i am out and want my daughter back she doesnt want to give her back. Even though i have been clean for almost 2 years and havent been in any trouble since i got out. B
She is now desperately trying to prove that i havent changed or that i am doing something wrong so that she can use that to try and keep my daughter. She is only 2 and a half and there has never been any docs involvement. We go back to court in March and i hope the judge or the ICL can see right through her attempt to make me look unfit. I have been trying to find comparative cases and i cant find any maybe u can help so i can see what happened in those cases thanks
Sorry i forgot to add that i live in Bundy and mum in Brisbane the order states that i get 3 days in a row with her but she says that it doesnt say how many hours per day and she is cutting it shorter and shorter. When the order says a day what does that meAn? 9-5? There is still 3 months before our next court date so i need to know. Also the other day i asked if i could video call her and she tells me no and that from now on i can only speak to her on my 3 days. Can she do that? I dont know who to ask and cant offord solicitor and legal said no
I cant believe they said no but they did. Any advice u have would be appreciated. Ty
 

DMQC

Well-Known Member
29 June 2016
94
11
314
Hi Laura, happy to help with your situation. Can you clarify though, you said DoCS were not involved, yet go on to say that the order provides you have custody of your daughter three days per week. When was this order made?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
680
2,894
Think about this in perspective.

You have as little as six months, and no more than a year of experience actually parenting your daughter, and in that very short period, you committed a crime that landed you in jail for 19 months. For what little time you were tested as a parent, you didn't perform very well, so to suggest that you're a fit parent is grossly speculative in the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?

Your daughter's primary attachment figure at this point is also your mother, not you, so she's got the upper hand in the parenting dispute because the Court is going to be very hesitant about taking a child of tender years away from the adult figure who they have the most attachment to.

Remember, the only person responsible for the way things are is yourself, so rather than imply that your mother is the problem, maybe look a bit closer to home and ask yourself if perhaps the better course of action is to do everything in your power to show that you are, or can be, a fit parent. Do a parenting course, get a job, find a place to live, support your kid and be polite and respectful to the person who raised her while you were serving jail time.

I don't say any of this to bring you down, I'm just trying to give you some perspective so you can change your approach and actually do what's best for your kid, which is all the Court is interested in - the child's best interests.
 
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Vera

Member
22 August 2019
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1
Sorry i forgot to add that i live in Bundy and mum in Brisbane the order states that i get 3 days in a row with her but she says that it doesnt say how many hours per day and she is cutting it shorter and shorter. When the order says a day what does that meAn? 9-5? There is still 3 months before our next court date so i need to know. Also the other day i asked if i could video call her and she tells me no and that from now on i can only speak to her on my 3 days. Can she do that? I dont know who to ask and cant offord solicitor and legal said no
I cant believe they said no but they did. Any advice u have would be appreciated. Ty
 

Vera

Member
22 August 2019
4
0
1
Wow, I only just found this .
My name is Vera , I am Laura’s mother .
Sadly my daughter is back in jail. It breaks my heart , but I have an obligation to my granddaughter who was with me from 6 months old , she is now a little over for years old and doing beautifully, surrounded by friends and family, attends a private kindergarten and loving life . I will protect my granddaughter with everything that’s with in me and will continue to fight for her life , safety and happiness.
My daughter did not just make some mistakes at the age 19 , she lived like this most of her life and kept away from her entire family , because we didn’t agree with her lifestyle. She contacted me after many years when she got pregnant.
I’m not out to just take people’s kids , I had 4 of my own and at this time in my life I only wanted to support and be around my grand babies, not starting again to raise another baby , I had a good job and was doing well, but for this wonderful child who had no voice I gave up everything and will continue to do so . I hope and pray that my daughter will one day turn her life around and have bigger part in our lives , but I do not trust her with this precious little life .
Thank you
 

Vera

Member
22 August 2019
4
0
1
Think about this in perspective.

You have as little as six months, and no more than a year of experience actually parenting your daughter, and in that very short period, you committed a crime that landed you in jail for 19 months. For what little time you were tested as a parent, you didn't perform very well, so to suggest that you're a fit parent is grossly speculative in the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?

Your daughter's primary attachment figure at this point is also your mother, not you, so she's got the upper hand in the parenting dispute because the Court is going to be very hesitant about taking a child of tender years away from the adult figure who they have the most attachment to.

Remember, the only person responsible for the way things are is yourself, so rather than imply that your mother is the problem, maybe look a bit closer to home and ask yourself if perhaps the better course of action is to do everything in your power to show that you are, or can be, a fit parent. Do a parenting course, get a job, find a place to live, support your kid and be polite and respectful to the person who raised her while you were serving jail time.

I don't say any of this to bring you down, I'm just trying to give you some perspective so you can change your approach and actually do what's best for your kid, which is all the Court is interested in - the child's best interests.
Sorry i forgot to add that i live in Bundy and mum in Brisbane the order states that i get 3 days in a row with her but she says that it doesnt say how many hours per day and she is cutting it shorter and shorter. When the order says a day what does that meAn? 9-5? There is still 3 months before our next court date so i need to know. Also the other day i asked if i could video call her and she tells me no and that from now on i can only speak to her on my 3 days. Can she do that? I dont know who to ask and cant offord solicitor and legal said no
I cant believe they said no but they did. Any advice u have would be appreciated. Ty
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,166
597
2,894
Hey Vera,
No one here has made any negative judgements of you. Indeed those who gave advice correctly supported the fact that you were the primary carer of the child and changing that would be detrimental to the child.

I hope you and child are well and I hope your daughter sorts herself out.
cheers
 

Vera

Member
22 August 2019
4
0
1
Hey Vera,
No one here has made any negative judgements of you. Indeed those who gave advice correctly supported the fact that you were the primary carer of the child and changing that would be detrimental to the child.

I hope you and child are well and I hope your daughter sorts herself out.
cheers
Hey Vera,
No one here has made any negative judgements of you. Indeed those who gave advice correctly supported the fact that you were the primary carer of the child and changing that would be detrimental to the child.

I hope you and child are well and I hope your daughter sorts herself out.
cheers
Hi there
No I know that and very much appreciated, I was just mostly writing so so people know a bit about it .