QLD Can Superannuation for Property Settlement be Done Without a Solicitor?
- Thread starter Cockatoo
- Start date
Nope - two concerns:
1- super can only be split with stamped consent orders.
2 - your property settlement ain't binding without consent orders - you can only get them when both parties have independent legal advice.
Look it will cost about $2000 between you to get it all legally binding and if a super split is required, then you'll have to spend the money. Your alternative is to come to an agreement between yourselves but it is bloody risky.
Lots of posts here are from people who had an 'agreement' split the money etc. Then one party goes on a spending spree while the other saves. Then the spender comes back for a second bite of the cherry then things get messy, especially since courts calculate things from time of settlement (a legally binding one - not your handshake agreement.)
Not nice news - sorry. My opinion - spend the $2000 and get it done legally... You wouldn't do dentistry on yourself would you?
Well, this has the potential to cause you a similar sorta pain...
1- super can only be split with stamped consent orders.
2 - your property settlement ain't binding without consent orders - you can only get them when both parties have independent legal advice.
Look it will cost about $2000 between you to get it all legally binding and if a super split is required, then you'll have to spend the money. Your alternative is to come to an agreement between yourselves but it is bloody risky.
Lots of posts here are from people who had an 'agreement' split the money etc. Then one party goes on a spending spree while the other saves. Then the spender comes back for a second bite of the cherry then things get messy, especially since courts calculate things from time of settlement (a legally binding one - not your handshake agreement.)
Not nice news - sorry. My opinion - spend the $2000 and get it done legally... You wouldn't do dentistry on yourself would you?
Well, this has the potential to cause you a similar sorta pain...
I have my portion of the equity that was from the proceeds of the sale of the house. Are you saying he can come back and request some of that back?
In regards to the Super, do I just need to go to a solicitor and ask them to help finalise my share of his super? Whilst doing that is it the best avenue to take with consent orders about parenting as well.
Simply I don't trust him, he refuses mediation. I sent him a parenting plan template for him to consider and jot down his requests, but to date have heard nothing. Except his demands to see the child. Whilst I have no problem with him seeing her, he has an unknown phone number, new car (details unknown) and a new address which he refuses to disclose.
I want all the i's dotted and t's crossed to ensure her safety. I feel he will with hold her if there isn't a legal binding agreement for him to honour.
Are we both responsible for the costs of both consent orders? He has expressed resentment and said that if I want my portion of Super and a parenting order then I have to pay myself.
In regards to the Super, do I just need to go to a solicitor and ask them to help finalise my share of his super? Whilst doing that is it the best avenue to take with consent orders about parenting as well.
Simply I don't trust him, he refuses mediation. I sent him a parenting plan template for him to consider and jot down his requests, but to date have heard nothing. Except his demands to see the child. Whilst I have no problem with him seeing her, he has an unknown phone number, new car (details unknown) and a new address which he refuses to disclose.
I want all the i's dotted and t's crossed to ensure her safety. I feel he will with hold her if there isn't a legal binding agreement for him to honour.
Are we both responsible for the costs of both consent orders? He has expressed resentment and said that if I want my portion of Super and a parenting order then I have to pay myself.
How much super are you talking? How much equity?
Now I have a bit of a problem - the bit about 'demands to see the child'. When did he see the child last? So do you have a phone number for him? How do you communicate? What percentage of care does he think reasonable? What do you think is reasonable?
Look part of the problem is that sometimes we expect the other person to be reasonable, while not being reasonable ourselves... My ex wanted 60% of assets and that was reasonable... No problem - only to happy to agree. But she didn't want any agreement about child access - she thought it better if we just 'go with the flow' and 'just wait and see'.
Short version - her asset division was fair and reasonable and guaranteed she got her money... But she wasn't gonna give me any certainty about when I'd be seeing the kids and that wasn't fair and reasonable. That complication caused us both to have to spend a small fortune on solicitors in order to finally get it sorted... Not fun...
Something else you said rings a bell... You said you don't trust him... Guess what - I bet he doesn't trust you either...
Look technically, yes, he could spend his portion of the sale of the house and then come back for a second bite of the cherry. But when you split the proceeds of the sale did you split if 50/50?
The best thing you can do is come to an agreement and as far as consent orders go - look it's complex. Both parties need to pay for their own legal advice. Then one person asks their solicitor to write up the agreement as consent orders and send it to the other for approval... Really that is a small cost. Both parties pay half the filing fee.
So he has said if you want the super / parenting order you pay... I'd agree. Look you can stand up for the 'principle' of it not being fair.... But maybe it's better just to get it sorted and move on...
If you agree to a percentage of super and arrangement for kids, why not go see a solicitor get it written up and send it to him all at your expense... He will then have to get his own legal advice before the orders can be approved....
My concern is you don't have the sledge hammer style motivator. You could spend that money and he refuses to sign. But where to from here really depends on the answer to the questions above...
If you're talking about $10 000 in his super then maybe it ain't worth the fight...Look it would have been better to leave the proceeds of the sale in trust. While the money was sitting there, both of you had a motivation to come to an agreement in order to get that money and there is a reasonable chance a solicitor would have told you that you should have sought a larger portion of that asset. But that horse has bolted.
Now I have a bit of a problem - the bit about 'demands to see the child'. When did he see the child last? So do you have a phone number for him? How do you communicate? What percentage of care does he think reasonable? What do you think is reasonable?
Look part of the problem is that sometimes we expect the other person to be reasonable, while not being reasonable ourselves... My ex wanted 60% of assets and that was reasonable... No problem - only to happy to agree. But she didn't want any agreement about child access - she thought it better if we just 'go with the flow' and 'just wait and see'.
Short version - her asset division was fair and reasonable and guaranteed she got her money... But she wasn't gonna give me any certainty about when I'd be seeing the kids and that wasn't fair and reasonable. That complication caused us both to have to spend a small fortune on solicitors in order to finally get it sorted... Not fun...
Something else you said rings a bell... You said you don't trust him... Guess what - I bet he doesn't trust you either...
Look technically, yes, he could spend his portion of the sale of the house and then come back for a second bite of the cherry. But when you split the proceeds of the sale did you split if 50/50?
The best thing you can do is come to an agreement and as far as consent orders go - look it's complex. Both parties need to pay for their own legal advice. Then one person asks their solicitor to write up the agreement as consent orders and send it to the other for approval... Really that is a small cost. Both parties pay half the filing fee.
So he has said if you want the super / parenting order you pay... I'd agree. Look you can stand up for the 'principle' of it not being fair.... But maybe it's better just to get it sorted and move on...
If you agree to a percentage of super and arrangement for kids, why not go see a solicitor get it written up and send it to him all at your expense... He will then have to get his own legal advice before the orders can be approved....
My concern is you don't have the sledge hammer style motivator. You could spend that money and he refuses to sign. But where to from here really depends on the answer to the questions above...
If you're talking about $10 000 in his super then maybe it ain't worth the fight...Look it would have been better to leave the proceeds of the sale in trust. While the money was sitting there, both of you had a motivation to come to an agreement in order to get that money and there is a reasonable chance a solicitor would have told you that you should have sought a larger portion of that asset. But that horse has bolted.
I got 22,000 he got 19,000. We live 8 hours away from each other. He saw her last Easter. He refused to take her calls in the end and changed to a private number. I persisted with contact twice a week. He can't even be contacted in an emergency now.
This is so he can continue to control me. He bullies via email now. His super sits at around 50,000.
This was a 25-year marriage. In a nutshell, I need a solicitor to help with the rest, don't I?
My reasons for leaving were due to DV and I went into refuge. He has all of the furniture and household items.
Thanks heaps for your feedback. Of course he doesn't trust me because I exposed his abuse.
This is so he can continue to control me. He bullies via email now. His super sits at around 50,000.
This was a 25-year marriage. In a nutshell, I need a solicitor to help with the rest, don't I?
My reasons for leaving were due to DV and I went into refuge. He has all of the furniture and household items.
Thanks heaps for your feedback. Of course he doesn't trust me because I exposed his abuse.
My thoughts his super at $50 000...Forget it. The amounts of money you're talking ain't worth fighting for and ain't worth him or you coming back for a second bite of the cherry.
If he ain't interested in seeing the child = nothing you can do about it.
I don't think it is really worth speaking to a solicitor. Look if you have email communication, keep it civil. Don't respond to nonsense. If he wants to see the kid, agree but ask for address and phone number. I'm assuming you're prepared to provide him with the same? If not, why not?
So If you have email communication agreeing to drop-off pick up times and location for child to visit dad in school holidays or whatever, Great. Do that... If he doesn't return the kid - get back on this website and contact legal aid ASAP.
Have a look at the thread posted by erica about getting her son returned. It should appease concerns about child not being returned.
You could fight to get a cut of his super - but is it worth spending $20 000 to get $20 000? Because that is likely what it would cost and even if I'm wrong, is it really worth the stress?
If he ain't interested in seeing the child = nothing you can do about it.
I don't think it is really worth speaking to a solicitor. Look if you have email communication, keep it civil. Don't respond to nonsense. If he wants to see the kid, agree but ask for address and phone number. I'm assuming you're prepared to provide him with the same? If not, why not?
So If you have email communication agreeing to drop-off pick up times and location for child to visit dad in school holidays or whatever, Great. Do that... If he doesn't return the kid - get back on this website and contact legal aid ASAP.
Have a look at the thread posted by erica about getting her son returned. It should appease concerns about child not being returned.
You could fight to get a cut of his super - but is it worth spending $20 000 to get $20 000? Because that is likely what it would cost and even if I'm wrong, is it really worth the stress?
Good question! With a 25 year marriage, could be late teenage, young adult?
sammy is right that you cannot force an unwilling parent to see their child. On the same token, it would be unreasonable (and possibly psychologically damaging to a child) to force a child to see a parent who only wants to see them on their terms.
In that this could lead to the child suffering increased issues than those of the abandonment itself i.e. raising the hopes of the child of a relationship with that parent during those periods that parent wants to see the child, only for the child to experience rejection on every occasion that parent doesn't want to again. A horrible cycle for a child to be placed in.
Cockatoo said:
Might be a good idea so you can at least get a better idea of where you might stand.
Look, just my opinion... If he is gonna fight to get you away from his super then it will require a court order... You seems smart enough to do all the paperwork and self represent but is it worth it? your call... Personally, getting on my life seems like a greater priority...
But - kind of give you some leverage... You can tell him you're not interested in his super as long as he agrees to work with you to get consent orders around the child... Now with a 9-year-old, you might wanna ask yourself is it worth it... Again, what purpose? Doesn't seem like you're worried about him not returning the child and at that age, things are simpler than dealing with little ones...
So next time he asks for the kid to visit agree, but ask for a mobile number and residential address. Both reasonable requests - true...
But - kind of give you some leverage... You can tell him you're not interested in his super as long as he agrees to work with you to get consent orders around the child... Now with a 9-year-old, you might wanna ask yourself is it worth it... Again, what purpose? Doesn't seem like you're worried about him not returning the child and at that age, things are simpler than dealing with little ones...
So next time he asks for the kid to visit agree, but ask for a mobile number and residential address. Both reasonable requests - true...