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QLD Being Asked to Pay More Child Support?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Momma, 20 April 2016.

  1. Momma

    Momma Member

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    Hi

    I'm new here. Stumbled into this site as I was searching for answers.

    I have recently been contacted by the Child Support Agency. I was ordered to pay such amount to my ex as I am now working full-time and he is still on the dole.

    Centrelink has recorded a child care percentage of 50/50, althought through the years, I know and have wittnesses and evidence that I have more care of my son that his father does, but I had never bothered to change this through Centrelink.

    It just upsets me as it's unfair that since we have been separated (8 years ago) my son's father has never paid for my son's school fees, uniforms, books and I even buy them groceries because I want to make sure my son doesn't go hungry.

    I have worked hard through these years to have a better life for my son and now having a full time job, he has applied for child support. On January, he was wanting me to pay him money but says if I continue to pay for my child's school and education needs then he will advise child support that it is private. But now I am being hit with a bill for me to back pay.

    Sorry, it's a bit long lol but need some answers if there's a way for me to appeal for this?
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    You can object to the decision made by CSA about the amount of child support you pay, which will trigger an internal assessment, then you can appeal to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal if you are unhappy with the outcome. After that, you're looking at a second appeal through the AAT, then onward to the Federal Circuit Court, but these last options will both cost you money.

    My assessment of the situation? You will still have to pay him child support. CSA isn't interested in what happened in the past, be it care percentages or purchase of various articles. It's only concerned with care percentage and incomes moving forward. You earn more than him, you have equal care, that's really the long and short of it.

    In my experience, the most effective way to get a contribution from the other party is to discuss the expense and what it's for before the purchase is made. Buying school supplies unilaterally, then sending a receipt saying "Please pay half" isn't going to win any favours.
     
    Hope this helps likes this.
  3. Momma

    Momma Member

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    Thank you so much for your response. I know I still have to pay him either way. I was just advised that I'll need to properly change the share care for Centrelink as I have backtrack my diary and I do have my son more than 60%.

    I know they won't care about the past nor the present or future because, yes, I got a full time job and earn more money than my 36-year-old ex who's been on the dole for over 10 years and refuses to work.

    My main concern is the payment I give will only be spent on his habits. It'll be fine as it is only a matter of time my son will make a decision to stay with me full time
     
  4. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Yes, you will need to advise of any change to care arrangements within 14 days of said care arrangements changing, however the CSA determines assessments by the 'regular pattern of care'. That means that if you occasionally have the child two or three nights in a row that he would ordinarily be with the father, then CSA isn't going to take it into consideration. A 'change to the regular pattern of care' is what warrants a call to CSA, but there are qualifiers for this, for example, the care patter has to have been amended for three care events in a row to be considered a change to regular care.

    Unfortunately, there is no way to control or influence what the child support payments are spent on. This is a plight many parents experience. In an ideal world, parents in 50/50 arrangements wouldn't pay child support at all, but alas, it is what it is.
     
    Hope this helps likes this.
  5. Cairnsdad

    Cairnsdad Active Member

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    Forced child support is rarely fair for one of the parents sadly in most cases when there is acrimony. It could be one parent hiding income to deny paying what they should or a parent not using the money for the children as they should.

    I am very similar to you and although pay child support and always have, I still end up paying 100% for school uniforms, school fee's & books etc, I pay for extracurricular activities for my son's and when they are dropped off with nothing but shorts on if the changeover is a public holiday at the local McDonald's car park then I refuse to lower myself to that level and make sure they go home the week after fully dressed knowing I will never see the clothes again.

    I do it because if I didn't and simply refused to pay like she does for her 50% then my son's miss out and that's not fair on them.

    Yes it is woeful having to regularly give CSA all my updated details all the time (I am self-employed so have to give bank statements, business figures, company tax returns etc) and all of it goes to my ex for perusal who then systematically refutes it all and forces an audit which always concurs with what I have declared.

    The reality is that I love my son's and a very long time ago made the conscious choice to 'never be like her' just to do what she does at the expense of my little men. My eldest son is just about to turn 10 and I assure you they understand what is happening without a word ever be said as they get older.
     
    teflongirl and Hope this helps like this.
  6. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    Yup, what he said. But this thread looks like it is becoming a bit of a whinge fest. Great, my turn.

    About to drive 7 hours return to pick up my kids, she only drives 5 hours round trip. I agreed at the time, she had some dithering excuse about migraines preventing her doing half the travel. Once she even asked me for petrol money.

    I have 3 kids and they are with me 80% of the time. I get $0 child support. None, zilch. When the kids go to her for 3 weeks over summer, she calls CSA and asks for a change of assessment based on her having 100% care for 3 weeks and hence I should pay her during the three weeks..

    The kids go to mum with a suit case I bought each of them. The suit cases come back with a range of rags. Mostly dirty, some she's obviously used to wash the car or something.

    It has now become a bit of a joke and the less I worry about it, the happier we all are...

    Well gotta go. I'm willing to bet I'll get to Macc'as at 3.25 - (five minutes early). She will get there at 4.30 and dither something like - "I'm sure you said 4.45, so I'm actually early". So better idea is for me to say nothing - smile and nod.
     
    Hope this helps likes this.
  7. Cairnsdad

    Cairnsdad Active Member

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    Perhaps it is more of letting people know that their situation is not new and is more common than not and help them accept that 'it is what it is' rather than it being a whinge fest.

    I know it helped me reading other people situations and sharing.

    Drive safe
     
  8. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    Nope whinge fest. Been sitting at Maccas for an hour. But I have learnt how to use WiFi. Not a whinge fest just somewhere to share experiences.

    Gee, I'm glad I quit smoking but so help me if 5-year-old gets out of her car with caffeine-infused drink I'm gonna go to the chemist and sedate the little darling for the drive home...
     
  9. Hope this helps

    Hope this helps Well-Known Member

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    Yes, every comment and help given here is correct. And like you, I paid for food and made all cooked meals enough for him and my children plus snacks, everything including filling up his cupboards and fridge and freezers to make sure my children are including spending money when out with their father as he would have them out all day and not buy them a drink or anything to eat. New clothing and shoes, etc., only for them to come home with adult clothing from his latest girlfriend, of shop crap that was too small to big or God knows what, and find out the clothing brand new outfits and shoes they chose themselves and liked ( all well dressed) were not allowed to be worn because it was brought from me.

    Stil , you don't lower yourself to their standard or mentality. For me, I'm teaching my children how to dress well which they have grown up and do. That's great. They also know how to eat properly and what good food is even though the children were not allowed nor given anything I gave them and made only frozen crap if that. And the money I gave them was given to him even though I gave him $100 for his pocket, and yes he was working a very good high paying job.

    As allforher stated is all correct. Please remember CSA count only nights spent not days. Keep recites for all school fees ( mine I pay for is private) uniforms stationary books, clothing, excursions, entertainment ( as CSA have changed there) and really kept a diary when you have the children , dates, times, child care, etc., as it is also tax deductible.

    I did this all when I wasn't working regarding clothing, food, schooling, just as I did when working. Yes, it meant I didn't eat or buy clothing for myself and I personally missed out and I received $50 per month from a high paying ex who had a good high paying job n he got away with it, but I still made food enough for my children, him and filled his cupboards and fridge whether it was a weekend or whenever, including taking lunch to school for them as they (so I found out) were given a packet of chips and nothing else or their friends shared their lunch or office women at school brought salad rolls for them.

    Basically , school frees, inside and outside school activities are part of child support payments up to 75%. You still have to pay %25 in money. If you write everything down what you buy, and how many nights are spent with you as that is how they calculate the percentage of care, you will be surprised what they will do to work with you. The thing is - we love our children. We want the best for them and as everyone hear says, best to grin and bare it because children are not stupid. No words need to be said. They remember and more observant and smarter than people like to think. Money will not pay for their memory of what you did for them. Just show them you love them. Have fun, listen to them, if anything, give them skills.

    As you know your ex-partner, he's not going to change and don't bad mouth them as children will work out and accept or not accept parents as they are but you can teach them ways to get around situations when it comes to their other parent. But my friend, children do cost money whether with you or not.

    Whether 8, 18, 28 etc. I will always put my children first before myself and knew they were going to cost me money for the rest of my life before I had them.Lol. And when they are 18-years-old, if not before, at least payment of the ex is not included.

    My daughter is 29 and I'm still paying for her to keep her healthy. And my 16-year-old. I know how you feel and it is not fair. But you will be better off relationship-wise and children are grateful as they don't forget what you done for them, how long you drove to obtain them including instate, getting them to spend time with them or taking them to sports, etc. getting them oout of trouble or solving their problems or advising them. Be a proud parent- they will be proud of you!

    I say this as though my oldest is 29 and youngest is 16. And I have four children. They are my children ( yes and the ex) but they have worked out who cares for them.

    If it eases anything , they know I'm here for them and just tonight just before I wrote here, talked and saved my eldest from committing suicide due to her father. Life is precious! Children for me are my heart. I am glad your ex is not like my ex and if he is on the dole you will have to pay as in my day when you didn't work you had to pay child support and I did happily even tho like you with or without a job I was still the same.

    They come first. I hope and by the sounds of it your children are healthy and not an evil person. That is one thing you must be grateful for. All the best. You can also mediate with Relationship Australia or a mediation Practioner or they have mediation in CSA. CSA are not so ridget as they use to be. Please also put down your personal and household costs, etc. your payment to ex will lessen. Look into it. CSA do not want you starving and on the streets.

    Good luck!
     
  10. Momma

    Momma Member

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    This is good to know I'm not alone. Thank you all so much for sharing. And yes...I do what I do and bear what I can not for my ex but for my son. At an age of 8, he adores his dad but he is starting to notice certain things that he knows isn't right. I don't ever bad mouth my ex to my son because at the end of the day, children love both parents good or bad, and me telling him how bad his father is is pretty much me telling him half of him is bad. I love my son, and I do the best that I can for him. When he grows up and undertand then he will learn himself.

    I do have my diary as well. I have learnt to keep it since being separated it was a nightmare (still a nightmare ) and I needed it keep record as I had DVO against him.

    He is getting more nasty as I have recently gotten engaged so this whole thing is him walking into my work one day saying 'you work in management and your fiancee earns good money I think I deserve a pay' ah well one day...every dog has his day
     

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