NSW Wanting parental orders asap

[Louise too]

ive had heaps of problems with drop offs and picks ups with me ex.

We are currently going through settlement. Lawyers continually requesting financials from me as we have significant tax debt and ex trying to get out of paying debt from sale of the house. Ex is keen for settlement and get her money and I really want plan for kids care done , as ex sometimes will not even take kids back etc and I have been having kids every weekend and Thursday evenings and well as half school hols.

Can I refuse providing further financials until the parent plan is sorted esp before next svhool holidays. As she is happy with me having kids every weekend and taking them on Thursday evenings so she can work. But I need that weekend off so I can work ? So she is happy not to agree or attend mediation. I have to Cert to go to court. But how will it look iI have not provided all financials. ( not that I am hiding anything ) and I use that to come an arrangement with the kids ?

Can I ask for one weekend off a month to work as I am sub contractor and only get paid if I work and I need to work that weekend to help fund 6 weeks off per year ?

If she disagrees to one weekend off a month How will interium orders be decided after ex responds. ?

 

[sammy01]

alternating weekends is common territory. So I reckon you're better off asking for Friday arvo-Monday Morning alternating and from after school on Wednesday until start of school Thursday every week Throw in half school holidays and you've met the 35% threshold which sees a reduction in child support and the possibility of you getting some family tax benefit. Or do Thursday nights since she works.

I would insist to the best of your ability that you're not gonna discuss $$$$ until AFTER an agreement is made around the kids AND if she refuses just get into court asap. Interim orders are likely to be made via agreement outside the court. Funny how the stress of a court building can make people negotiate.... Failing that it is likely the magistrate would order something like what I've outlined above...

 

[Louise too]

alternating weekends is common territory. So I reckon you're better off asking for Friday arvo-Monday Morning alternating and from after school on Wednesday until start of school Thursday every week Throw in half school holidays and you've met the 35% threshold which sees a reduction in child support and the possibility of you getting some family tax benefit. Or do Thursday nights since she works.

I would insist to the best of your ability that you're not gonna discuss $$$$ until AFTER an agreement is made around the kids AND if she refuses just get into court asap. Interim orders are likely to be made via agreement outside the court. Funny how the stress of a court building can make people negotiate.... Failing that it is likely the magistrate would order something like what I've outlined above...

interim orders are likely to be made via agreement outside the court.
Sorry what does this mean. ? Outside court. ?
Who decides this. ?

I currently have kids every kids every Friday after school to Sunday afternoons then every Thursday evening to take them to their outside school sport and give them dinner drop off at 8:30 pm. And half school holidays.

I’m asking for the above but every 4th weekend off. So I can work has she now wants me to have kids half all school holidays (6 weeks per year ) and I need to fit in more work to fund this. And maybe every Thursday night. Instead of dropping off at ex 8:30 pm , but she will not agree due to child support care percentage like I worked out above.

What are you thoughts. ? How will interim orders be decided. ?

 

[sammy01]

so your solicitor walks up to her solicitor and says that it would be good to come to an agreement outside of court and is the ex willing to consider a proposal where XXXX. If ex agrees, sweet. IF NOT then you might need the magistrate to make the call.

Also - you want to start playing smart... you're better off picking up the kids from school on Friday and returning them to school on Monday. Sounds like your ex is a nutter. Once you've got final orders, what is gonna stop her from mucking your around, refusing to answer the door on Sunday arvo's because she doesn't want the bother of feeding the kids and getting them to school on Monday? The answer is NOTHING. She will continue to act like a clown. No court order can make a twit stop being a twit.... So your best solution is to pick up from school Drop off at school... No need to even see the ex - that is a good thing... And the kids go back to her directly after school on Monday. You have the weekend to wash the uniforms so no petty squabling about that sort of crap... But I do think in court, you're only gonna get 3 weekends out of 4 IF the ex agrees. Which she might because by the sounds of things she doesn't want alternate weekends? But to be fair, how is she mean't to organise her life where she has one weekend off work a month, her employer is not likely to be agreeable. Hence you need to find a compromise, which is gonna be difficult because she is a twit.

 

[Louise too]

Yes. Great idea Friday arvo to school drop off on Monday. Like you said, there are always dramas on Sunday afternoon due to her tiredness or when she goes away with one of her boyfriends etc. ( just means I have to start work at 9 am
Instead of 5am ) and I’m thinking every Thursday nights as well as it saves me dropping the kids off at her house so late at 8:30 pm. ( again starting work later next day ) so I really need this extra one weekend month to work. I know ex will not agree to this due to extra nights effecting child support. Hence will go to court.

I think her bar work is pretty flexible as my family and friends see her Facebook posts when she goes out on the weekends. So I’m sure she can get her at least one weekend off a month to spend time with her kids ? Is this what you mean ? Will court grant me one weekend off a month to catch up on work and for ex spent some time with her kids ?

And in meantime I will not answer to more letter of offers regarding assets until kids and child support are sorted ?

 

[sammy01]

So you read Migz post about how lots of haggling can happen outside court...
My thoughts - You're best bet it to go for something like pick up from school Thursday and keep the kids until start of school Tuesday on alternating weeks. That is 5 a fortnight and once you throw in half holidays, it is a good way to go if you can manage work around it.

I do think courts tend to stick to a basic formula - Alternating weekends and some mid-week time. So you're only gonna get 3 out of 4 weekends IF the ex agrees

 

[Louise too]

So you read Migz post about how lots of haggling can happen outside court...
My thoughts - You're best bet it to go for something like pick up from school Thursday and keep the kids until start of school Tuesday on alternating weeks. That is 5 a fortnight and once you throw in half holidays, it is a good way to go if you can manage work around it.

I do think courts tend to stick to a basic formula - Alternating weekends and some mid-week time. So you're only gonna get 3 out of 4 weekends IF the ex agrees

Thank you so much for your time in replying to me.
Apologises for 2 posts.

Yes ok. I’m now thinking the following ;

Every 2 nd Thursday night to drop off Monday morning.
Every Thursday night and I still pick up kids from school Friday and take kids to their sport on Friday night and drop off st 8 pm.
Half school holidays.

My required csa Amt is $180.
Ex wants $250 weekly via private arrangement.
I give her $250 if she does not carry on like a twit and agrees to the care arrangements as above.
If kids still come home with unpaid school excursions , and wanting new school shoes etc. I will adjust child support according.

And I tell me lawyer children get sorted first before we talk about money. ??’!!

What do u think ?

 

[sammy01]

Ok - but you're not gonna have any joy with CSA / child support. You're better off just paying child support.
WHY?
1. you can't have a legally binding agreement that allows you to pay extra BUT only if she plays nice.
2. It will lead to constant arguments about money. Mate you want a world where you don't have to talk to this chick ever again. True.

So options?
1. offer a limited agreement - this is legally binding. So you agree to pay extra above child support for 3 yrs. But you can't change your mind just because she stuffs you around AND you could find yourself in a situation where she moves to the moon to be with the new love of her life and leaves the kids... But you're still paying according to this limited agreement even though the kids are with you. Now that is the worst case scenario, and i have kind of exageratted, but not by much.
2. Offer her cash on the quiet and pay it as cash, so no records. Mate, I do understand what you're trying to do, you're literally trying to buy some peace of mind. Nice idea BUT it will not work. It will cause conflict, every time she stuffs you around you're gonna fine her... She is gonna whinge that the children will starve / be disadvantaged and it will be all your fault...
Just some food for thought

 

[Louise too]

Ok - but you're not gonna have any joy with CSA / child support. You're better off just paying child support.
WHY?
1. you can't have a legally binding agreement that allows you to pay extra BUT only if she plays nice.
2. It will lead to constant arguments about money. Mate you want a world where you don't have to talk to this chick ever again. True.

So options?
1. offer a limited agreement - this is legally binding. So you agree to pay extra above child support for 3 yrs. But you can't change your mind just because she stuffs you around AND you could find yourself in a situation where she moves to the moon to be with the new love of her life and leaves the kids... But you're still paying according to this limited agreement even though the kids are with you. Now that is the worst case scenario, and i have kind of exageratted, but not by much.
2. Offer her cash on the quiet and pay it as cash, so no records. Mate, I do understand what you're trying to do, you're literally trying to buy some peace of mind. Nice idea BUT it will not work. It will cause conflict, every time she stuffs you around you're gonna fine her... She is gonna whinge that the children will starve / be disadvantaged and it will be all your fault...
Just some food for thought

Ok. Great point. So I should just stay with csa paying the required amt.
How do I communicate this to her ? How do I communicate if she is good I give her some money ?
Any suggestions. ?

What if she disagrees to hv kids every 2 nd weekend. How will court decide ?

 

[sammy01]

Well you can't really tell her you'll pay her if she is a good girl... So like i said, nice idea, but the reality is it ain't gonna work.

Court is likely to agree to something like I've suggested. Alternate weekends and some midweek time. So you don't have anything much to fear from court, she does.

i do think you want clear orders and then follow them because she is clearly unstable. The other option is going for primary care because there is some evidence her that she cant function as primary carer, but I can't advise on that, not based on stuff on a forum, a good solicitor is who you need to advise you on that one