Hello,
First time posting here, I'm sure it won't be the last...
I have recently left my de facto partner of 7 years. I have two young children (11 and 8), not biologically his, from a previous relationship.
Since separating, I have tried to maintain a relationship between him and the children, but every time I have arranged for him to spend time with them, he spends the entire time interrogating them about me (if I have a new man, when I will return to him, etc), making false promises, crying/ranting in a disturbing way, and berating/ interrogating/ intimidating me in front of them.
The children and I find this very distressing and I don't feel it's appropriate for him to discuss me or our separation with or in front of the children.
I feel that he is using the children to gain access to/ discover information about me and is not actually interested in seeing them or concerned for their emotional well-being.
His excuse for his inappropriate behaviour is that he is emotionally unstable/ not coping/ overwhelmed/ mentally distressed by the separation and just "wants us back", etc.
Based on his behaviour, I am now reluctant to arrange visits or agree to him spending more time with the children until he is in a better frame of mind and able to act more appropriately around them. My counsellor and solicitor have advised me that this is fair and reasonable on my part. My Family Dispute Resolution mediator said that as he isn't their biological parent, we don't have to enter into a parenting plan/ agreement.
I have been advised that he does not have parental access rights, however his solicitor has written two threatening letters about my "refusal to allow him to spend time with the children" (which is not true, to date) and "using the children as weapons against him" .
Now I have heard that because he may be considered a "significant person in the children's lives" he may be able to take me to family court to fight for access and or custody rights. Is this true?
First time posting here, I'm sure it won't be the last...
I have recently left my de facto partner of 7 years. I have two young children (11 and 8), not biologically his, from a previous relationship.
Since separating, I have tried to maintain a relationship between him and the children, but every time I have arranged for him to spend time with them, he spends the entire time interrogating them about me (if I have a new man, when I will return to him, etc), making false promises, crying/ranting in a disturbing way, and berating/ interrogating/ intimidating me in front of them.
The children and I find this very distressing and I don't feel it's appropriate for him to discuss me or our separation with or in front of the children.
I feel that he is using the children to gain access to/ discover information about me and is not actually interested in seeing them or concerned for their emotional well-being.
His excuse for his inappropriate behaviour is that he is emotionally unstable/ not coping/ overwhelmed/ mentally distressed by the separation and just "wants us back", etc.
Based on his behaviour, I am now reluctant to arrange visits or agree to him spending more time with the children until he is in a better frame of mind and able to act more appropriately around them. My counsellor and solicitor have advised me that this is fair and reasonable on my part. My Family Dispute Resolution mediator said that as he isn't their biological parent, we don't have to enter into a parenting plan/ agreement.
I have been advised that he does not have parental access rights, however his solicitor has written two threatening letters about my "refusal to allow him to spend time with the children" (which is not true, to date) and "using the children as weapons against him" .
Now I have heard that because he may be considered a "significant person in the children's lives" he may be able to take me to family court to fight for access and or custody rights. Is this true?