QLD Using Domestic Violence Orders to Gain Advantage in Family Court?

[Cairnsdad]

Happily, I am in Qld as well mate and can sympathise with your situation and also empathise with what you're feeling because I have been there. Mate I am positive they will use the things my ex did to teach Law students one day of just how crazy a female can get to 'win' at all costs.

AllForHer and sammy are bang on about accepting without admission her DVO application. I've been there, twice and I can tell you that the first claim she made was over a text message telling her to 'to leave me the f**k alone and stop texting me' when she would go through the inevitable ups n downs and drunk text me in the middle of the night.

Yup, she claimed a few months later I had used 'aggressive language' and my Lawyer told me to accept without admission and mate I was so pissed off with the thought of admitting to being aggressive I almost threw the towel in. Ultimately nothing changed because at that point talking to her face to face made me sick anyway so we were already doing handovers via school and kindy and I hadn't replied to her messages if they weren't about boys for long time prior so just like sammy said it never made a difference (because I had zero intention of ever breaking it).

Undertakings...My ex was so fond of having Legal Aid send them to me for basically everything that it got to the point my Lawyer had to bring it up at a mention in FC to make her stop and the Judge lambasted her LA lawyer over it. I got the usual ones when the Judge gave me more time the next day such as having to agree to being on time for drop offs, having to agree not to turn up early to pick ups etc which are just the rubbish that Legal Aid like to send trying to burn up funds because it costs her nothing but cost me $300 for my Lawyer to reply to each time.

She also sent me silly undertakings such as not buying the boys tuckshop because it made her look bad, making sure they took two pieces of fruit in their lunch etc. My Lawyer told me not to even bother with most of them because they aren't worth the paper they are written on but if you agree to one and don't abide by it it might be used in the trial to question your credibility.

Effectively I had no intention of not being at the handovers on time, I certainly didn't ever want to be sitting in her driveway early waiting for pick up so I didn't have any issue signing those ones.

As sammy said, just be a good dad and eventually the system will catch up. It will feel sh*tty often and it will even feel like you are losing but you won't if you do the right thing. It took me a while to accept everything but in the end I actually used to get to get off on intentionally being nice the nastier the ex got because I knew it would have drove her mad. The more I was nice the worse she got until she imploded.

Best of luck mate.

 

[King Neptune]

Topical article on today's ABC news website: Domestic violence: How do courts decide who needs protection?

This statement sums up nicely how the two sides of the story might normally be considered in court, and is in-line with the advice offered by others here:

The magistrate says the only acceptable evidence submitted during these domestic violence court days is the statement of the aggrieved, and that rules over whatever the respondent says in the court, unless they're willing to testify under oath at a hearing.

 

[AllForHer]

It's true - and the reason it's true is because for every X number of exaggerated and fabricated stories brought before the Court in pursuit of a DVO, there is Y number of genuine victim seeking help, so the Court must favour the aggrieved, real or perceived, in a blanket fashion so it can ensure first that every genuine victim is protected, and second that those victims who haven't yet sought protection are not discouraged from doing so. The last thing the Court wants on its hands is the blood of a genuine victim who was denied a DVO because his/her abuser cast doubt enough in the mind of the magistrate, or because they never bothered to seek protection in the first place for lack of confidence in the Court system.

Unfortunately, those victims of false allegations (which maybe are arguably the victims of abuse by virtue) get embroiled unfairly in this system, but that's why it's not a criminal matter and that's why it has next to no impact on family law proceedings. Without undermining how badly this area of law needs reform and without taking away from the total injustice and personal impact of the thing, it might provide some solace in some totally inadequate way to understand that you're doing a service to real victims by being the punching bag of a false one.

Reform will come. We just have to keep at it until we get there.

 

[happily dazed]

G'day all

Briefly on the DV situation: turned out it would be a few months before the next mention. She has to submit all her evidence prior to then, and the mention is just to satisfy the judge that we both have legal representation. So I decided on the day not to consent to it, as I can agree without omission at any stage, sounds a bit shitty, but I just. Oils to help but want to see her come up with evidence to back up all her crap, being none to come up with, it may push her into withdrawing it like she did last time, anyway, family court is first and foremost.

So I have a bit over a week left to submit response to her epic 53 page 135 bullet point affidavit. It's a resume the grim reaper and Jack the Ripper combined couldn't match, drug addicted manically depressed woman and child abusing nutcase, that willingly exposes his 6-year-old daughter to risk of sexual abuse.

There's an initiating application that says much the same, but includes her extraordinary mothering prowess, and includes her goal that in the foreseeable future she wants to take the kids to live a few hundred k's away from the manipulation, abuse and fear that being near me I caused her, but she accepts this for herself until she is sure the kids are resettled with her after a few months, they were tormented being with me.

And the motive of risk, being a drug addict father that has exposed them to risk of sexual abuse and has. Wen the star of two recent private applied for temp protection orders.

Any ideas on an approach to that? I think Sammy said just be nice and offer the court my situation and how I can provide a stable and loving environment for the 3 kids, 2 girls 3 & 6 yo, and 8 yo son.

I'm told that due to the age of our youngest (3), that the court will be reluctant to separate her from the mother.

She is 4 in September and has spent plenty of periods of time with me with no drama, and the other two want to be with me without a doubt.

Due to the nature of her application and the way she's gone about all of it in such a deceptive and spiteful way. The children's lawyer I bumped in court said go for all or nothing, as that's what she is doing and I'd look silly if I didn't ? She has made no effort to co operate in the 7 weeks since interim orders were made, 11 days with mum, every second weekend and Wednesday with me. Constantly mucked me around making a parenting plan, says she wants to, organises to meet, then tries to get dvo breaches, 3 attempts no breach as I've had texts that rule out her stories ?

So, is there any thoughts, wording, terms or other advice or info that might be helpful? I don't have a lawyer as I'm waiting to hear from Leah's aide still, I've just been going to community lawyers 1/2 hour at a time trying to get whatever I can out of that time frame, obviously not a lot by time explain situation it's time up.

I'll happily make arrangements for a beer or two to be waiting at your local

Cheers