ACT Spousal Maintenance - What am I Entitled to?

[Betty2783]

I've been married 10years. I have 4 children between the ages of 4-10. I have been a stay at home mum for the last 10 years. I have been responsible for the care of the children, the domestic duties and finances. My husband earned the income.

In November, we had an argument and he said we were separated. He changed the bank account passwords (were only in his name) so I no longer have access to the finances. Since then, he has told me what I can and can't spend money on because we are separated and it's his money. He's spending money how he likes while sometimes he quibbles over allowing me to get petrol. I am financially dependant on him because I have spent the last 10 years raising our kids, so he could focus on building his career.

Our youngest starts preschool this year so will be at school 2 days per week. So I can potentially get a job these days. He said he can't look after the kids so I will have the kids the bulk of the time. He said he'd have them 1 weekend a fortnight.

He said he'd continue to pay the rent and that would be his share of child support. He doesn't want me to go through the child support agency. I've looked into government assistance and even with that and his child support payments, I won't be able to cover all the bills.

He has been diagnosed as bipolar which he refuses to be treated for. He says he wouldn't leave me to struggle one day but the next day says he'll pay nothing.

I don't live a lavish lifestyle, I just want to be able to pay the bills without having to worry. Would I be entitled to spousal maintenance? I just need him to support me until I can go back to work.

I don't know what I'm entitled to or how where to go or what to do really? Any help would be great.

 

[Betty2783]

We don't own a home, we're renting. We have 1 car which is 10 years old, 1 motorbike and he has a car which is on a lease. All of the above are in his name.

 

[Hummingbird]

Please see if you can access legal aid for a free consultation. What you describe sounds like financial abuse, where you say he is using family finances to control you and the situation. You need specific legal advice as being the primary caretaker of the children you may end up with primary custody time, particularly if your husband were to refuse to modify his work schedule and was unable to manage 50/50 parenting time, but if you are separated and divorce you are entitled to child support. It sounds like he has done his research and this sounds planned out from his side to allow him all the benefits of family money and schedule arrangements but without any of the legal obligations to you and the kids that come with legal separation.

What do you want to do? Do you want to move and take the kids ASAP? Do you believe you should be primary care and husband EOW or are you hoping to try for 50/50 equal time for the kids with both parents? Think about what you want custody-wise, there will be mediation and then court if you two proceed with separation and divorce (which is recommended as he has been abusive toward you) but you are entitled to feel safe physically, emotionally and financially and first address that with legal advice. Keep in mind that there is no legal order in place right now and you can move with the children to give yourself some space and safety, which is not to say stop contact with the kids' dad but you don't need permission to up and get yourself and the kids out of an unhealthy situation.

 

[Initforthem]

I would look into getting some DV support. if you are in QLD call Family and Child Connect and they can have someone talk you through all the supports available to you. If what you say is correct, you are experiencing domestic violence, there is no question about it. Keep copies of all the evidence you can of him withholding money or threatening to cut you off from support etc.
Centrelink actually has some sort of payment for people experiencing DV so give their number a call too. You may find that with a proper assessment of child support, and their fam tax etc you'll get by until maintenance comes through. Bear in mind it takes a month from the approval date to get child support so the earlier you apply through the agency the better.
You may wish to look into filing a DVPO. I would call Womens Legal first thing on Monday. Book in a phone consult with them. They can talk you through your options. You will be entitled to maintenance and child support as two separate things but you will have to go to court to seek maintenance. Any and all evidence will help your case.
Over the weekend you could look into filling out the forms for legal aid as that can take weeks to come through and then once they file your initiating application, several months for the initial hearing. I don't know if you have access to any savings but it seems from your situation that you would qualify. Don't apply directly though, go find a lawyer in your area that does legal aid. They may be able to get it through a bit quicker and help you with the wording of the big section at the back.
Seriously go to Centrelink though. You need financial independence from this pig. You got this!