First time poster and I apologise in advance for the length of this , but given I've pretty much exhausted all legal aid opportunities (both prior and post first hearing) within my area and getting nowhere I'm running out of options.
Brief:
I'm a respondent mother re parenting orders which were filed under exempt by dad (long story on how that was granted). The first hearing was in Dec 17 and we has 3 business days to prepare before court . I was unable to to file anything in time. I did, however, have a draft affidavit prepared but unsealed / witnessed etc so was never presented.
Interim orders were made which were negotiated between me and dad's barrister (the orders I wanted were put in place).
Matter has even transferred to Federal Circuit Court in March and I'm still needing to file my docs. My issue is trying to shorten my affidavit, but given dad's affidavit was filled with false / misleading info and failed to provide full info regarding other children, etc, the first few pages of mine is filled with what he's missed and required.
I also am needing to include info regarding the current IVO orders that are placed against his wife, which protects both our daughter and myself. As she consented without admission for both the initial and ext. order, I'm needing some assistance as to what I need include regarding this & a number of other things due to a whole heap of clarifications needing to be made against his affidavit (29/37 there's issues against).
So I will try to narrow it down and I thank you all In advance for any assistance you may be able to help with . Ok, here goes...
Current IVO against wife:
- I plan to annex both the final personal protection order & the current final family violence order (it was transferred over to FVO at ext hearing), as she consented without admission. Would it be wise to file with my better/furthers /or photo/text evidence I have against this, which was never filed or requested by the court ( other than BFP).
- During their last separation, dad himself needed to place one on her to protect her and the children, which I've noted under "safety concerns and history ". I've also noted the info regarding all this, as I was present at the time including the violent incident between dad and his father-in-law, in which IVOs were filed against both of them but never went to court.
As there are still safety concerns for our daughter whilst in his care & I believe the court should be aware of all this, but how much do I note in my first affidavit?
Dad also has an injunction placed on him if he allows his wife to come In contact with our daughter... This I also want kept in place but am wondering how I note that?
I also want to note my concerns of his lack of acknowledgment / concern regarding his wife's violent / abusive behaviour, especially given that the ext order was granted on the basis & evidence I had of the continuation of FV within their home (that he had actually provided me), in which one incident was regarding how wife hit her 13-year-old autistic stepson.
*I of course will be filing a Notice of Risk, but assume what is noted on that comes from the info in my affidavit ? So I need to get that sorted first. It was actually the Notice of Risk that was what was delaying me in filing before he did as I needed legal advice, which I was unable to get (not to mention all the conflicting advice I was able to obtain regarding different matters at different stages prior to he filing in court).
Then come the time of the year being Christmas also and firms being reluctant to assist as they were all going on leave .*
Our History:
False claims include are included, which I have evidence against but I'm unsure which and how much I need to annex at this point and what to save for trial.
1. Huge contradiction re the length of our relationship (& I'm talking years!). I am noting that of course.
2. He is stating he paid to secure my rental property (not true) and is a guarantor. There is no guarantor & my lease agreement proves that. As this is his attempt to show me having financial insecurity, I was going to annex it...
Do I or save it for trial ?
3. False info / conversations regarding incidents leading up to these proceedings. I have text proof against it... Do I include that now?
There's a lot in the draft affidavit; that's where I'm struggling to shorten. They also, in a way, roll into one big incident but over a certain period of time.
4. Claims he was never allowed unsupervised access... I offered him s parenting plan which proves against it back in Aug 17 which he refused to discuss and tried the "love bombing" (yes he's a narc ) again and things went down hill from there as he realised he was losing control over me.
Many incidents happened since and he still has his tantrums when I don't respond to his requests or engage in any convo.
I know that most can wait into trial but to ensure the "real" picture is put across and history / current concerns / examples / clarifications, etc are all needed. Plus needing to add in the additional stuff since interim orders were made to support what I'm requesting for in the next set of interim orders.
My affidavit is going to be too long and I don't want it thrown out the window, especially given it will be written by me rather than a lawyer.
You over it yet? Know I am & the need to have had to repeat this all million times (& what's posted is only half the story but relevant). It takes the whole "free consultation" time just to try get the lawyers head around it!
Anyways now to the orders ...
Previous agreement:
- B is 17 months old
- We have never lived together since bubs was born
- Dad had open access & time actually spent with her was approx 1-2hrs / 3-4 times a week
- This occurred when he usually either wanted something from me, mostly when he was pushing boundaries & I was trying to implement them by requesting he arrange times properly instead of just showing up (in which 9/10 times I gave in to), until he started making the pattern clearer and times he was " requesting " to see bubs was at times he knew I wouldn't be agreeable to. So yes, just to rack up the " I've asked, she said no" count.
Current Interim Orders:
B has time with dad Tues & Thur 5-7pm, Sundays 10 am - 1pm, every week
Dad's requested orders:
Tues & Thurs 5:30 - 8pm, Sat 3pm - Sun 10am, every week.
**Under final orders section, all it has is "dad be excused from noting his request of final orders until a family report has been completed" or something to that effect. Should I also just be stating that in my response to file? **
Note that B has never spent a night away from me & is very reliant on me during the night.
My proposed orders:
While I'm very happy with the current orders being in the best interest for our daughter, preparing the foundation for final orders later down the track, along with factors including possible relocation for future employment, but also for the fact that whilst I've always done my best to facilitate the ongoing relationship & development between bubs, dad & his other children...
The current arrangement makes it difficult for B & my 12-year-old son (who primarily lives with his father (no orders regarding that) to have a "meaningful relationship", given the travel time required, etc and also my now need to get public transport.
(Don't ask, but another form of punishment received by dad).
So given these factors and as mentioned keeping final orders in mind and aiming for a "step up" approach re care arrangements also over time, I have no immediate plans to move (like in next 3-6 months, but possible in 6-12months' time & this being approx 45mins -1hr away from where I / dad are currently).
So I'm proposing:
B has time with dad. Every second Sunday 9am - 1pm (so one additional hr) with increase after 3 months to 8 am - 1 pm ( thinking I may need that as my negotiating option though as he's not going to like every second weekend).
Reason behind the 1pm is that it currently seems to work that although she usually has her nap before 1pm, I've found that she lasts until we get home and then goes for her nap and still allows me to be able to do things with her or get things done that's required in the afternoon. Given she has never "napped " with dad before and only lasts until we get home is mainly due to her being entertained (or keep awake) by his youngest son who's 7.
So I can see for if he would be required to put her down for nap, then he will use that as an excuse for being late for drop off (which he already does most times without having the nap excuse), so was more looking at it being easier on everyone. And gradual step up to 6 then 8 hrs over time on the Sunday.
Still trying to work out a week day time but due to her bed time routine I see me proposing:
Wed 5pm - 7pm (or 7:30pm ) every week.
Issue I'm already having is that B is showing signs of attachment issues since the new arrangement which has been effecting her both day and night time sleeping routine and it becoming more difficult.
Remember this is also based on B (& I) being able to spend appropriate time with my son / her brother,which we would only be able to facilitate over the weekends, which being a mum also, I would think I'm entitled to be able to spend a full weekend with both my children together given our previous and current circumstances.
Not looking at overnights at any time soon and given dad was requesting me to go outside the orders within 3 days of the hearing (& many occasions since) to allow him more time and failing to acknowledge that Bubs needs time to adjust to this new routine and given the little "hands on time" previously spent with her (not to mention recent behaviours which I've needed to note with his lawyer).
So that's is a snapshot. Again sorry for the length of it and appreciate & welcome any suggestions / comments.
Thank you
Brief:
I'm a respondent mother re parenting orders which were filed under exempt by dad (long story on how that was granted). The first hearing was in Dec 17 and we has 3 business days to prepare before court . I was unable to to file anything in time. I did, however, have a draft affidavit prepared but unsealed / witnessed etc so was never presented.
Interim orders were made which were negotiated between me and dad's barrister (the orders I wanted were put in place).
Matter has even transferred to Federal Circuit Court in March and I'm still needing to file my docs. My issue is trying to shorten my affidavit, but given dad's affidavit was filled with false / misleading info and failed to provide full info regarding other children, etc, the first few pages of mine is filled with what he's missed and required.
I also am needing to include info regarding the current IVO orders that are placed against his wife, which protects both our daughter and myself. As she consented without admission for both the initial and ext. order, I'm needing some assistance as to what I need include regarding this & a number of other things due to a whole heap of clarifications needing to be made against his affidavit (29/37 there's issues against).
So I will try to narrow it down and I thank you all In advance for any assistance you may be able to help with . Ok, here goes...
Current IVO against wife:
- I plan to annex both the final personal protection order & the current final family violence order (it was transferred over to FVO at ext hearing), as she consented without admission. Would it be wise to file with my better/furthers /or photo/text evidence I have against this, which was never filed or requested by the court ( other than BFP).
- During their last separation, dad himself needed to place one on her to protect her and the children, which I've noted under "safety concerns and history ". I've also noted the info regarding all this, as I was present at the time including the violent incident between dad and his father-in-law, in which IVOs were filed against both of them but never went to court.
As there are still safety concerns for our daughter whilst in his care & I believe the court should be aware of all this, but how much do I note in my first affidavit?
Dad also has an injunction placed on him if he allows his wife to come In contact with our daughter... This I also want kept in place but am wondering how I note that?
I also want to note my concerns of his lack of acknowledgment / concern regarding his wife's violent / abusive behaviour, especially given that the ext order was granted on the basis & evidence I had of the continuation of FV within their home (that he had actually provided me), in which one incident was regarding how wife hit her 13-year-old autistic stepson.
*I of course will be filing a Notice of Risk, but assume what is noted on that comes from the info in my affidavit ? So I need to get that sorted first. It was actually the Notice of Risk that was what was delaying me in filing before he did as I needed legal advice, which I was unable to get (not to mention all the conflicting advice I was able to obtain regarding different matters at different stages prior to he filing in court).
Then come the time of the year being Christmas also and firms being reluctant to assist as they were all going on leave .*
Our History:
False claims include are included, which I have evidence against but I'm unsure which and how much I need to annex at this point and what to save for trial.
1. Huge contradiction re the length of our relationship (& I'm talking years!). I am noting that of course.
2. He is stating he paid to secure my rental property (not true) and is a guarantor. There is no guarantor & my lease agreement proves that. As this is his attempt to show me having financial insecurity, I was going to annex it...
Do I or save it for trial ?
3. False info / conversations regarding incidents leading up to these proceedings. I have text proof against it... Do I include that now?
There's a lot in the draft affidavit; that's where I'm struggling to shorten. They also, in a way, roll into one big incident but over a certain period of time.
4. Claims he was never allowed unsupervised access... I offered him s parenting plan which proves against it back in Aug 17 which he refused to discuss and tried the "love bombing" (yes he's a narc ) again and things went down hill from there as he realised he was losing control over me.
Many incidents happened since and he still has his tantrums when I don't respond to his requests or engage in any convo.
I know that most can wait into trial but to ensure the "real" picture is put across and history / current concerns / examples / clarifications, etc are all needed. Plus needing to add in the additional stuff since interim orders were made to support what I'm requesting for in the next set of interim orders.
My affidavit is going to be too long and I don't want it thrown out the window, especially given it will be written by me rather than a lawyer.
You over it yet? Know I am & the need to have had to repeat this all million times (& what's posted is only half the story but relevant). It takes the whole "free consultation" time just to try get the lawyers head around it!
Anyways now to the orders ...
Previous agreement:
- B is 17 months old
- We have never lived together since bubs was born
- Dad had open access & time actually spent with her was approx 1-2hrs / 3-4 times a week
- This occurred when he usually either wanted something from me, mostly when he was pushing boundaries & I was trying to implement them by requesting he arrange times properly instead of just showing up (in which 9/10 times I gave in to), until he started making the pattern clearer and times he was " requesting " to see bubs was at times he knew I wouldn't be agreeable to. So yes, just to rack up the " I've asked, she said no" count.
Current Interim Orders:
B has time with dad Tues & Thur 5-7pm, Sundays 10 am - 1pm, every week
Dad's requested orders:
Tues & Thurs 5:30 - 8pm, Sat 3pm - Sun 10am, every week.
**Under final orders section, all it has is "dad be excused from noting his request of final orders until a family report has been completed" or something to that effect. Should I also just be stating that in my response to file? **
Note that B has never spent a night away from me & is very reliant on me during the night.
My proposed orders:
While I'm very happy with the current orders being in the best interest for our daughter, preparing the foundation for final orders later down the track, along with factors including possible relocation for future employment, but also for the fact that whilst I've always done my best to facilitate the ongoing relationship & development between bubs, dad & his other children...
The current arrangement makes it difficult for B & my 12-year-old son (who primarily lives with his father (no orders regarding that) to have a "meaningful relationship", given the travel time required, etc and also my now need to get public transport.
(Don't ask, but another form of punishment received by dad).
So given these factors and as mentioned keeping final orders in mind and aiming for a "step up" approach re care arrangements also over time, I have no immediate plans to move (like in next 3-6 months, but possible in 6-12months' time & this being approx 45mins -1hr away from where I / dad are currently).
So I'm proposing:
B has time with dad. Every second Sunday 9am - 1pm (so one additional hr) with increase after 3 months to 8 am - 1 pm ( thinking I may need that as my negotiating option though as he's not going to like every second weekend).
Reason behind the 1pm is that it currently seems to work that although she usually has her nap before 1pm, I've found that she lasts until we get home and then goes for her nap and still allows me to be able to do things with her or get things done that's required in the afternoon. Given she has never "napped " with dad before and only lasts until we get home is mainly due to her being entertained (or keep awake) by his youngest son who's 7.
So I can see for if he would be required to put her down for nap, then he will use that as an excuse for being late for drop off (which he already does most times without having the nap excuse), so was more looking at it being easier on everyone. And gradual step up to 6 then 8 hrs over time on the Sunday.
Still trying to work out a week day time but due to her bed time routine I see me proposing:
Wed 5pm - 7pm (or 7:30pm ) every week.
Issue I'm already having is that B is showing signs of attachment issues since the new arrangement which has been effecting her both day and night time sleeping routine and it becoming more difficult.
Remember this is also based on B (& I) being able to spend appropriate time with my son / her brother,which we would only be able to facilitate over the weekends, which being a mum also, I would think I'm entitled to be able to spend a full weekend with both my children together given our previous and current circumstances.
Not looking at overnights at any time soon and given dad was requesting me to go outside the orders within 3 days of the hearing (& many occasions since) to allow him more time and failing to acknowledge that Bubs needs time to adjust to this new routine and given the little "hands on time" previously spent with her (not to mention recent behaviours which I've needed to note with his lawyer).
So that's is a snapshot. Again sorry for the length of it and appreciate & welcome any suggestions / comments.
Thank you
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