NSW No contact

[El1234]

He wants it all as of now. The child doesn't know who he is and we have a mediation agreement in place which he didn't attempt.

There is evidence of family abuse and this parent is excessive alcoholic

 

[sammy01]

so what exactly is dad asking for and when?
and what are you proposing?

When you say there is 'evidence of family abuse' and 'alcoholic'. What do you mean? Dad was found passed out drunk in the car with the kid asleep and the police were called? See evidence in family law is more than just you saying he drank every day when you lived together. Evidence is escaping rehab to go to the pub. Abuse is Doc's investigating and deeming dad a risk.

 

[El1234]

He wants overnight stays and every 2nd weekend after no contact for 3 months.

I have always said you need to build a relationship with the child he has never cared for her over the 2 yrs. It takes her a while to go to him.

I copped verbal abuse from him I have text messages imitdation from his family members and there was no support throughout the 2 years old the child's life.

I reported this to mediation and asked to be on the list for the contact centre and they never followed through with it.

They even said I did well to keep the child away from the abuse and excessive drinking.

We never lived together so the child was not exposed to the alcoholic situation as much.

 

[sammy01]

Ok so contact centres are problematic. Especially now with Corona virus. There are waiting lists.

Look if the dad wants the kid for a 24 hour period. OR for that matter from 3pm until 10am once a week then why not agree? If he does that once a week for 3 months and is there at 3pm and drops back at 10am. I reckon that is pretty reasonable and it that happens consistently then increasing to 3 or 4 nights a week over time is reasonable.

Look courts are hard work. It is a long process and nobody wins.

Now excessive drinking is problematic. See, if dad doesn't have charges, a criminal history relating to alcohol then it is not relevent... I know, trust me I know... But in courts, they want evidence. Not just that you saw him pass out a few times. You need a third party, like the police who can establish that there is a problem. Now the other thing is alcohol is not an illegal substance. You can stand up in court and say dad is a drunk. He can say no he isn't. What then?

do you have access to legal aid?

 

[El1234]

What happens if there is no relationship between the child or he hasn't been involved in the kids life only a fly in fly out dad

 

[El1234]

The solicitor didn't put it through properly for legal aid

 

[Atticus]

What happens if there is no relationship between the child or he hasn't been involved in the kids life

What happens is the custodial parent (you) should facilitate an incremental increase in time with dad, because the family law act states that ALL children regardless of their parents relationship are ENTITLED BY LAW to a meaningful relationship with BOTH parents....

You can start to do that now by working with dad to facilitate a relationship, or later through court after having spent thousands of dollars

 

[El1234]

That's what was agreed in mediation and he didn't follow the plan then we would go back in 3 months, instead he left the country came back and asked for the 60i certificate

 

[Atticus]

That's what was agreed in mediation and he didn't follow the plan then we would go back in 3 months, instead he left the country came back and asked for the 60i certificate

So offer it to him again... in writing .... If he refuses & takes it to court it's his money... A court will order incremental visits anyway given the age & circumstances.

 

[El1234]

Even though he hasn't made contact for 3 months and has never made an effort