NSW Father just wants contact

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Curious1987

Member
27 April 2020
2
0
1
Hey
I'm so my partner decided to move from one state to another. His ex was going with him an during the move decided she no longer wanted to go.
He still went as he had a job an house all set up.

She didn't go they broke up. They have a very volatile relationship. They both have mental health issues. He is dealing with his an is wanting contact with his children. She uses them as a game. An often cuts him off an tells him he's not having contact. He doesn't want to take them from her. He just wants to be able to contact them with out her making it difficult an about her. He's the first to say he hasn't been the best person or dad. But he wants to fix it an be there for them. There's no court order in place. She sets silly csll times. E.g. his still working. This has been going in for far to long. I just want a solution where the kids are happy. She also says I'm not to be around or near them when he contacts. W E have been together a while. An she has had lots of partners in the mean time. All of which have seen her children. She also post messages on social media. An emails me.
 
There are a number of options available to your partner, most of which will require the involvement of a court. The fact that there is no court order already in place means that any arrangements made between the parents are not binding on either of them. That also means that any demands made by either party can't be enforced either.

Before making an application to the court to try to formalise the parenting arrangements, it is necessary for both parents to attend mediation. This can be arranged by contacting the court. Once mediation has taken place, your partner will be issued with a s60I certificate which he will need to commence proceedings. The purpose of the mediation is to try to come to an agreement about the children without the court's intervention. If mediation fails, then the next option is to commence proceedings.

Some of the orders your partner can seek include specific times to spend with the children including telephone calls, Skype etc. He can also ask the court to place an injunction on the mother restraining her from placing posts on social media which denigrate your partner.



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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
How far away do you guys live from her?
Choices.
1. Suck it up. Organise for him to visit the kids. Or for him to pick up the kids to visit him. Do all thing necessary so he can see his kids, even if that means you go stay with a mate for a few days (assuming you live with him). Work towards getting a better situation, so don't make a big deal about her BS. JUST SUCK IT UP... Make that the starting point.
2. Apply to do mediation. Relationships Australia is a good start. It is heavily govt funded so it is cheap. They might do it over the phone. This is a good idea and you need to do this before you can apply to court (keep reading)
3. APPLY TO COURT. This is a bad idea. Realise that if she is a nutter she will likely not even follow the courts orders. The cops wont help. So you'll have to apply to the courts for a contravention if she doesn't comply with the court orders when you get them until eventually they might put her on a good behavour bond. You can self represent. But sounds like you're partner is having a tough time. Self representing isn't for the faint hearted... But if you're keen to help him with the paper work then it is worth a shot. Sometimes when the other parent gets served with a court attendance they panic and become a bit more reasonable. BUT sometimes they get even more beligerent. By the sound of things you've got the second variety...

I hate my advice but I think it is accurate.
 
Last edited:

Curious1987

Member
27 April 2020
2
0
1
How far away do you guys live from her?
Choices.
1. Suck it up. Organise for him to visit the kids. Or for him to pick up the kids to visit him. Do all thing necessary so he can see his kids, even if that means you go stay with a mate for a few days (assuming you live with him). Work towards getting a better situation, so don't make a big deal about her BS. JUST SUCK IT UP... Make that the starting point.
2. Apply to do mediation. Relationships Australia is a good start. It is heavily govt funded so it is cheap. They might do it over the phone. This is a good idea and you need to do this before you can apply to court (keep reading)
3. APPLY TO COURT. This is a bad idea. Realise that if she is a nutter she will likely not even follow the courts orders. The cops wont help. So you'll have to apply to the courts for a contravention if she doesn't comply with the court orders when you get them until eventually they might put her on a good behavour bond. You can self represent. But sounds like you're partner is having a tough time. Self representing isn't for the faint hearted... But if you're keen to help him with the paper work then it is worth a shot. Sometimes when the other parent gets served with a court attendance they panic and become a bit more reasonable. BUT sometimes they get even more beligerent. By the sound of things you've got the second variety...

I hate my advice but I think it is accurate.
We live in VIC she lives in NSW. I dont buy into her drama. I don't see why I have to leave my home, when she can have men over different ones at that. But i would do it so he could see them. She emails me, even screen shots of thier conversations. I don't reply. So I would say I am sucking it up. She can't handle the fact he has moved on. I've offered to fly him up there even both of us I'll stay away an he can go spend time with them.

To start he just wants to be able to speak to them via video or csll. With out her hanging up on him. Or making it about her. Because she doesn't like some thing...i have stayed right out of it. He did go an visit. An she was all normal until he left again. Then she started again. She cuts off contact tells him not to call or text. Blocks him at every avenue. So he can't. Then says he doesn't contact them. She's moved house. Won't give him the adress. We still have Christmas presentsfor them.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
Why leave the home when the kids arrive? so he can see his kids. Look I feel for you. I really do.
So call relationships australia. Get mediation sorted.
Then apply to court. Once you have court orders hopefully she will pull her head in. No court will order you leave the house just because his kids are there. So make the court application asap. Sadly, if she doesn't comply with court orders it is hard work as you have to go back to court and it is a pain in the..... But making the court application is something. You write well enough to do the paperwork. Give it a go. At least when the kids are older he can show that he tried... But hopefully she will pull her head in before it comes to that