Living Interstate - Disputing a Variation on Protection Order?

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Tegan Cole

Well-Known Member
8 October 2014
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0
71
DVO QLD - My ex and I have counter DVOs (domestic violence orders) against each other and I have had to leave the state because of it, however my ex is trying to make a variation to his order having his girlfriend named on it and I disputed it on Wednesday.

What happens now and will I have to go back to Brisbane? The last time I was in court, he bashed my elderly father because he couldn't get to me. And I have four children.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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684
2,894
Well, hold on.

Are these cross-applications at this stage, or have you both successfully had domestic violence orders made by the court to protect each of you from the other party?

If that's the case, why are you disputing your ex's girlfriend being on it?

If the order is already in place, and you are protected with an order of your own, and you are of no threat or danger to your ex's girlfriend, and you will give no reasons for her or him to file a contravention, why not just accept without admissions?

The reason I ask is because contesting the girlfriend's name on a DVO, while you have one against him and he has one against you, is kind of like saying, 'I won't commit domestic violence against him, but I would like to be able to commit domestic violence against her'.

See what I'm saying?

I believe there are options to appear by telephone, in any case.
 

Tegan Cole

Well-Known Member
8 October 2014
17
0
71
Well, hold on.

Are these cross-applications at this stage, or have you both successfully had domestic violence orders made by the court to protect each of you from the other party?

If that's the case, why are you disputing your ex's girlfriend being on it?

If the order is already in place, and you are protected with an order of your own, and you are of no threat or danger to your ex's girlfriend, and you will give no reasons for her or him to file a contravention, why not just accept without admissions?

The reason I ask is because contesting the girlfriend's name on a DVO, while you have one against him and he has one against you, is kind of like saying, 'I won't commit domestic violence against him, but I would like to be able to commit domestic violence against her'.

See what I'm saying?

I believe there are options to appear by telephone, in any case.
I just thought that it was a vindictive response for him being convicted of assaulting my father, I just didn't see a need for her to be on the order as I am of no threat to her, I dont even know who she is. I though it would look worse against me if I didnt contest it and allowed it. Thought it may look like I am actually doing something to intimidate her and it could be used in the family court against me.
 

Tegan Cole

Well-Known Member
8 October 2014
17
0
71
I just thought that it was a vindictive response for him being convicted of assaulting my father, I just didn't see a need for her to be on the order as I am of no threat to her, I dont even know who she is. I though it would look worse against me if I didnt contest it and allowed it. Thought it may look like I am actually doing something to intimidate her and it could be used in the family court against me.
And both orders are in place for two years
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
2,894
Ah, I understand. That's a fairly common reaction to domestic violence matters.

Courts don't generally like cross-applications because it becomes difficult to identify who the perpetrator is if there is a contravention, but am I right to say that your order against him was sought by police, while his order against you was sought by himself?

Remember, a domestic violence order isn't a criminal conviction - it's a precaution to say that if you do contravene, it will turn into a criminal conviction - which is why courts aren't too cautious about ordering them. Kind of a 'Well, if you're contending because you're not a threat, then what difference does it make if the orders are made?'

If you have already opted to contend the amendment, you could accept without admissions (which is basically saying 'I accept these but do not admit to any of the allegations made against me'), or you might consider pitching a mutual undertakings to the court and to the other party that is basically a 'promise on paper' that you won't commit any acts constituting domestic violence against your ex's girlfriend. It is not enforceable by law, but it becomes extremely easy to get a domestic violence order if the undertakings are breached.

In regards to your concerns about it potentially affecting future hearings for parenting matters, that is highly dependent on your individual case - I don't know your story and I don't know his, so there is no way of predicting what impact the allegations might have. In my own experience, I have always found that both parties are equally responsible for the conflict, but neither is ready to really admit it.

However, you will be interested to know that parenting orders only consider domestic violence orders *insofar as is necessary to protect the child from family violence*. What that means is that the Family Court (or, as is more likely in your case, the Federal Circuit Court) will make orders that enable the child to live/spend time with each parent in such a way that they are not in danger. For example, the court might order supervised time with the father, or it might order that the father only spend time with the kids at a contact centre, or it might order nothing of the sort - it might decide domestic violence is not a genuine issue and is just being used as an excuse to frustrate proceedings.

At the bottom line, courts will only make orders in favour of the children's best interests, and it is a very rare occasion when a court will decide it's in the children's best interests never to see one of their parents again.
 

Tegan Cole

Well-Known Member
8 October 2014
17
0
71
Ah, I understand. That's a fairly common reaction to domestic violence matters.

Courts don't generally like cross-applications because it becomes difficult to identify who the perpetrator is if there is a contravention, but am I right to say that your order against him was sought by police, while his order against you was sought by himself?

Remember, a domestic violence order isn't a criminal conviction - it's a precaution to say that if you do contravene, it will turn into a criminal conviction - which is why courts aren't too cautious about ordering them. Kind of a 'Well, if you're contending because you're not a threat, then what difference does it make if the orders are made?'

If you have already opted to contend the amendment, you could accept without admissions (which is basically saying 'I accept these but do not admit to any of the allegations made against me'), or you might consider pitching a mutual undertakings to the court and to the other party that is basically a 'promise on paper' that you won't commit any acts constituting domestic violence against your ex's girlfriend. It is not enforceable by law, but it becomes extremely easy to get a domestic violence order if the undertakings are breached.

In regards to your concerns about it potentially affecting future hearings for parenting matters, that is highly dependent on your individual case - I don't know your story and I don't know his, so there is no way of predicting what impact the allegations might have. In my own experience, I have always found that both parties are equally responsible for the conflict, but neither is ready to really admit it.

However, you will be interested to know that parenting orders only consider domestic violence orders *insofar as is necessary to protect the child from family violence*. What that means is that the Family Court (or, as is more likely in your case, the Federal Circuit Court) will make orders that enable the child to live/spend time with each parent in such a way that they are not in danger. For example, the court might order supervised time with the father, or it might order that the father only spend time with the kids at a contact centre, or it might order nothing of the sort - it might decide domestic violence is not a genuine issue and is just being used as an excuse to frustrate proceedings.

At the bottom line, courts will only make orders in favour of the children's best interests, and it is a very rare occasion when a court will decide it's in the children's best interests never to see one of their parents again.
Thankyou so much for that, it has made it alot clearer for me. And as for the children, I don't not want them to see him ever again I just want them to be safe and not be exposed to physical or mental abuse and I want them returned to me. We had to leave QLD because it was too dangerous for us and the biological son we have (Jack4) is autistic and hasn't seen him for over ten months, I'm so worried for their mental well being, I don't know how little people are meant to deal with any of this. Thank you for your help though