QLD Homeschooling Issue - Should Father Fight for Custody of Children?

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thatbloke

Well-Known Member
5 February 2018
335
42
714
Earth
Father: Hi Mother. Please let me know of Child's appointments and medical information as soon as you can. Please make sure I am authorised to contact doctor if needed. Also, in relation to email correspondence. I will not be responding as it is not addressed to me.
Erm, why don't you send a copy of the orders to the Doctors yourself? Responding to a conversation saying I won't respond to a conversation will see you get what little tile you have taken away if you file frivolous contraventions.

Partner will not be responding as there is no need for her to communicate with you unless in emergency situations. This is not an emergency. If you wish to receive a response, please resend addressed to me and give reasons for the request in date change.
If you want to come across as controlling and anal and causing conflict to the court, keep doing this.

You are being played, and you are losing
 

nibler1300

Well-Known Member
23 January 2017
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0
196
Update:

Woah, so Mother backed down with the homeschooling idea either because she wasn't granted conditional registration or because she knew it would be more hassle than worth regarding orders. Guess we will never know which one.

On Monday, both parents agreed with times. Due to travel Dad was having child after Easter and will obtain Easter next year and make up extra time this year. On Tuesday, Mother asked Dad if he could pick child up on Thursday like the original plan. Dad said yes.

On Tuesday afternoon, Father gets a phone call and child is not at school. Dad says the reason he was wasn't picking child up until Thursday was because he thought child was going to go to school. Mother than offers that the child stay with him for a while.

Father and Mother have a discussion later where mother says:

1. A dr recommended that child live with Father

2. She wasn't able to start work or do any work with child around

3. She just thinks this is what is best for the child

Mother says "let's be big people about this. It doesn't need to go back through the courts and I don't want to sign anything". Father explains that she will need to sign something as there are court orders in place that say she has residency and for the sake of the child, Mother cannot just turn around in a month or two once child is settled into a new school etc and say she wants her back. Mother agrees to sign something saying the residency of the child has changed.

Father says okay and explains to child that there are rules here and that she will be going to school. Father asked Mother to pack some stuff up and make sure she has child blue book and birth certificate. Mother expresses that she will get the birth certificate but she lost her blue book.

At pick up, Mother tells Father that she forgot the birth certificate. She packs a big suitcase of clothes, all the child's school stuff, some toys, etc..

Here are my issues with the above!

Firstly, Mother is yet to sign anything. Everything else is verbally agreed to. Literally nothing was done via text apart from a reminder about the blue book and birth certificate and Father asking Mother is she is okay. The mother responded "I don't want her to go, that's all".

Would it be sufficient enough for Mother to sign something like:

"Effective from date the residency of the CHILD has changed from the Mother's residency to the Father's. For the purpose of the orders signed, date the roles of Mother and Father have swapped".

If Mother does refuse to sign, is there anything we can do if she changes her mind in a few months when she realizes that a 6-year-old is probably not the root of her problems and she wants her back?
 

thatbloke

Well-Known Member
5 February 2018
335
42
714
Earth
What the hell is wrong with you? Mum wants the kids to live with you, the kid has now come to live with you. Even if she signs a bit of paper, she can change your mind in a few months so why don't you just count your blessings and get on with your life without putting all this pedantic rubbish in the way of what is actually happening.

When my daughter came to live with me, it just happened and I moved on.

No signed piece of paper will take away the ability for her to change her mind, so just get on with it and hope she does not change her mind.

You will have a paper trail with school and Centrelink and family text to prove who the kid has been living with and that will suffice if you want to try and keep the situation and she changes her mind.
 

nibler1300

Well-Known Member
23 January 2017
50
0
196
It's not wrong of me or anyone in the situation to want to done right and properly. The child would be worse off if she is moved interstate every time the Mother doesn't feel like having her because "she gets in the way of her work".

This is also to avoid further litigation because if and when Mother wants the kid back, there is literally no trail of any agreement therefore she can say (like she has done in the past) that Father didn't return her after his time.

Wanting things done right is not "pedantic rubbish". You say it's your opinion, take it or leave it. I'm leaving yours. If you want to give suggestions, how about you try to empathise with what some people have gone through? We have been jumping through hoops for this little girl and are thankful she is now with us but we want it done right and there is nothing wrong with that.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
slow down..
Look an email from you to mum confirming that the child lives with you... But be smart. Don't send it. Write it here and ask for opinions, obviously change enough to stay anonymous. BE SUBTLE. BE CLEVER. Don't stuff this up.

BTW will you be entitled to family tax benefit? Look into it and get back to us. You want to know if you're entitled to child support. Even if you are, I strongly recommend you don't apply... YEP don't apply.... not yet... You'll understand velocity, when she realises she has to pay you. she will quickly change her mind and want the kid back.

Something like
Dear ex,
I've spoken to births deaths and marriages and am in the process of getting a new birth certificate. However, if you can post the one you have that would be great. I'm planning on enrolling XXXX in XXXX high school. I'll provide a link to their website and it would be good if you can touch base with them so they can sort sending stuff like school reports to you.

I intend to contact Centrelink in a few weeks. I think it best if we just agree to a 'private agreement around child support.

I'm prepared to pay to get consent orders written up so that we both have a clear understanding of the parenting arrangements. I'd like to know your thoughts.
kind regards
blah blah
 

thatbloke

Well-Known Member
5 February 2018
335
42
714
Earth
It's not wrong of me or anyone in the situation to want to done right and properly. The child would be worse off if she is moved interstate every time the Mother doesn't feel like having her because "she gets in the way of her work".

This is also to avoid further litigation because if and when Mother wants the kid back, there is literally no trail of any agreement therefore she can say (like she has done in the past) that Father didn't return her after his time.

Wanting things done right is not "pedantic rubbish". You say it's your opinion, take it or leave it. I'm leaving yours. If you want to give suggestions, how about you try to empathise with what some people have gone through? We have been jumping through hoops for this little girl and are thankful she is now with us but we want it done right and there is nothing wrong with that.
Look mate you have the child living with you so you can either accept that and move on because Mum has already said she won't sign any paper and if you try to force her to do something she does not want to do via the courts there's an even greater chance that she will then go well maybe I will just revert back to what the orders say

Your life your risk.. sometimes you have to know when to just keep quiet and go with the flow
 

Lennon

Well-Known Member
11 September 2014
270
36
719
Most orders say "unless otherwise agreed between the parties...". So if you both agree to something different to the orders, it is still doing things "right and properly".

I wouldn't push to get her to sign anything (as a PP said, what is a piece of paper going to prove anyway)? Your evidence of the agreement is in the text messages, the fact that she packed your child's things up and sent them to you and the fact that the child is living with you.
 

nibler1300

Well-Known Member
23 January 2017
50
0
196
Current consent orders to state "unless otherwise agreed" however the issue we have is we have no text message evidence to prove. We do have the birth certificate that she took a photo of, now her Medicare details and the fact that the she packed up a heap of the child's stuff. Is that sufficient?

School is happy to enrol her anyway and understand that she is a lot behind due to above reasons.

We have already made an application for a birth certificate and are in the process of getting her Medicare details copied (not transferred) to Dad's card.

We were not intending on asking her for child support. She doesn't make more than the self-care threshold anyway so we wouldn't get anything and Dad isn't entitled the family tax benefit because of what he earns. We will still need to get in contact with Centrelink and child support though and tell them that child is in our care and that we have a private agreement between parents that child support will be $0? Is that right?

All we need to do is get immunisation history but we need Medicare stuff to go through first so we can access the account.

Is there anything else we need to do regarding Mother that we may have missed?
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
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www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
I'd be sending a polite email (txt only if email not available) thanking the mother and saying everything is on track with the changeover and possibly asking how does she want her daughter to contact her.

Something like the above implies everything you want without needing to go anywhere near court.