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VIC Grandparents wanting access

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Teahne, 30 July 2017.

  1. Teahne

    Teahne Member

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    Hi,
    I have 4 children to my ex, I was with him for 9 years and have been seperate from him for 3 1/2 years now. In this time was sever domestic violence to which we also lived with his parents and they witnessed this violence.
    We went to court and got a no contact order, his mother swore under oath (lied) and said she had never witnessed any violence or bruising on me.
    He is now in jail for murdering his next girlfriend and his parents now want access to my kids.
    I've just received an email from a lawyer stating that they want to reconcile with the children (after 3 1/2 years of no contact)
    This in my eyes is in no way the best interest of the children as they still have a relationship with their son, have put him first throughout all the domestic violence and have had 3 1/2 years to apply or ask for some kind of access. The ages of my children are 11, 8, 6 & 5. The 6 and 5 year old have no idea who these people are as they were so young when we left and the older two to my knowledge have blocked them out of their memories and never speak of them or ask to see them.
    What are the chances when I decline their initial email for access that they will get access at court?
    Thank
     
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    if they take it to court, they would likely be given some access.
    Look I totally understand. You're in a tough spot. My thoughts... Since you have not mentioned that the grandparents are a danger / threat / violent etc etc... Why not agree. Meet in a park, work with them. I know, trust me I know... My ex-sister-in-law spends time with my kids... Initially there was a hell of a lot of bad blood... But these days she is my second go to person... After my parents, she is the next person I would call if I had an issue and needed someone to look after the kids...

    So another way to look at it. Right now you have all the power, you can refuse access, you can agree to access, but most importantly you can make the rules. So you could say that you'll meet at a park, the kids can be with grandparents for a few hours and work towards being prepared to leave them with grandparents for a few hours once trust is created.... you can have a rule no visiting dad, no phone contact with dad..... You make the rules...

    If it goes to court - the magistrate makes the decisions.... Look the magistrate isn't stupid, he/she will make a decision based on best interests of the kids... But do you really need the stress of it?
     
  3. Rod

    Rod Well-Known Member

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    Must say I'd not want the children to see grandparents who lied under oath.

    Who knows what may have happened if instead of hiding the abuse they'd confronted their son then someone else may be alive today.

    I reckon refuse access and let them take their chances at court.
     
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    SamanthaJay, ConfusedMama and Teahne like this.
  4. Teahne

    Teahne Member

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    Thanks for the reply!
     
  5. Teahne

    Teahne Member

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    Thanks Rod, that's the approach I'm taking. Clearly this access isn't in the best interest of the children considering it's been 3.5 years since they've seen or spoken to them. (My youngest was 18 months when they last saw him. He is now almost 5)
    Who knows if they are doing this so they can take the children to visit their son in jail? Or worse, take the children and not return them. (They've been known to be very sneaky like this)
    I am not bitter or spiteful towards these people at all. I don't agree with what they have done as I, myself would never put my grandchildren in danger for the sake of my child. If they were good honest decent people I would have no issues in letting them see the children but their previous actions have proved otherwise.
    But The facts are that they aren't thinking of the children, they are thinking of themselves as no relationship with people like that can be good for 4 small boys especially after such a large amount of time.
     
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