Hi there,
I'd like to keep this as short as possible but I am just curious what I may be facing with my situation in a court room.
I ended my relationship with my ex husband about 3 years ago due to domestic violence, his outbursts began to be directed at the 3 children and I had to put an end to it. I attempted to do this as gently as possible, still welcoming the father to participate in school events, spending time with the children when he pleased but unfortunately the more I got on with my life the more I aggravated him and he began spending less and less time with the children regardless of my efforts to continue to encourage phone calls, and additional visits.
The father claims he works too much to spend time with the children other than 1 night a fortnight but is also claiming he will be asking for more care in court, he has no home of his own and is residing with his parents over 60km's away where there is no bedroom let alone beds for the children and he cannot collect the children from school due to his work commitments.
Over the past 2 years he has gone over 12 months without seeing the children on and off because he continues to use the children to cause conflict in front of them, including denigrating me to the children directly. I had to stop care because of the psychological harm he was causing them, this was by his choice also, I attempted many times to negotiate new agreements that may work better for the children's needs and security but he always refused and still throws court at me as a threat. Mediation has also been attempted multiple times and even though he currently has no contact with the children he cancelled the previous FDR appointment, again claiming he is filing for court. Throughout this time the father has also contacted the children's school multiple times making wild accusations about myself and his situation with the children, he stopped being involved in the children's education voluntarily 3 years ago but is kicking and screaming about it. He refuses to discuss what it is exactly he wants though.
I am now in a sticky situation where I need to move interstate for employment and financial reasons as well as for support because where I am now I currently have no one to help me, a dear friend also has a severe illness and is needing some support herself. I have attempted to ask for his permission to relocate or for sole parental responsibility and to create a consent order to be filed with the courts but as usual I have been met with great hostility and flat out refusal to negotiate on an agreement. This is generally how all conversations with him go in regards to any decisions about the children, I think he sees my attempts to contact him as a weakness of some kind and an opportunity to further criticize and belittle me. I have offered him 21 nights of care during school holidays, skype chats, additional care if he wants it, that I will pay for the children's travel costs and I cover 50% of his travel costs. This included of course technicalities to protect the children while in his care and a slow transition of day visits before the move to help the children feel comfortable while in his care again. Would this be unreasonable in court?
I have been advised by two solicitors to just move and be done with it, but that it is a possibility that I run the risk of being forced to relocate back to my hometown if the father ever does choose to eventually apply for court. Would court hearings take place though to hear my case before a relocation order is issued? Or are they just issued without hearing the other parties side?
He is claiming that I don't comply with agreements but I have evidence that this is actually the other way around because I keep everything in writing. My main concern is that I have been placed in positions where I have had to stop contact in order to protect the children from him, but the only reason contact completely discontinued each time is because he refuses to negotiate on any agreements that have been solely to assist the children with their safety and emotional well being. I have suggested writing letters and scheduled phone calls even but he has never followed through with these.
I am also struggling to report the father for r**e, I was aggressively forced into sex with him on 5 occasions but I am very concerned about my children's safety because I know that abuse done do to me does not give grounds to protect the children in DV cases. If I do report him I know I will make matters so much worse for my children. If anyone has any advice on this it would very greatly appreciated.
I'd like to keep this as short as possible but I am just curious what I may be facing with my situation in a court room.
I ended my relationship with my ex husband about 3 years ago due to domestic violence, his outbursts began to be directed at the 3 children and I had to put an end to it. I attempted to do this as gently as possible, still welcoming the father to participate in school events, spending time with the children when he pleased but unfortunately the more I got on with my life the more I aggravated him and he began spending less and less time with the children regardless of my efforts to continue to encourage phone calls, and additional visits.
The father claims he works too much to spend time with the children other than 1 night a fortnight but is also claiming he will be asking for more care in court, he has no home of his own and is residing with his parents over 60km's away where there is no bedroom let alone beds for the children and he cannot collect the children from school due to his work commitments.
Over the past 2 years he has gone over 12 months without seeing the children on and off because he continues to use the children to cause conflict in front of them, including denigrating me to the children directly. I had to stop care because of the psychological harm he was causing them, this was by his choice also, I attempted many times to negotiate new agreements that may work better for the children's needs and security but he always refused and still throws court at me as a threat. Mediation has also been attempted multiple times and even though he currently has no contact with the children he cancelled the previous FDR appointment, again claiming he is filing for court. Throughout this time the father has also contacted the children's school multiple times making wild accusations about myself and his situation with the children, he stopped being involved in the children's education voluntarily 3 years ago but is kicking and screaming about it. He refuses to discuss what it is exactly he wants though.
I am now in a sticky situation where I need to move interstate for employment and financial reasons as well as for support because where I am now I currently have no one to help me, a dear friend also has a severe illness and is needing some support herself. I have attempted to ask for his permission to relocate or for sole parental responsibility and to create a consent order to be filed with the courts but as usual I have been met with great hostility and flat out refusal to negotiate on an agreement. This is generally how all conversations with him go in regards to any decisions about the children, I think he sees my attempts to contact him as a weakness of some kind and an opportunity to further criticize and belittle me. I have offered him 21 nights of care during school holidays, skype chats, additional care if he wants it, that I will pay for the children's travel costs and I cover 50% of his travel costs. This included of course technicalities to protect the children while in his care and a slow transition of day visits before the move to help the children feel comfortable while in his care again. Would this be unreasonable in court?
I have been advised by two solicitors to just move and be done with it, but that it is a possibility that I run the risk of being forced to relocate back to my hometown if the father ever does choose to eventually apply for court. Would court hearings take place though to hear my case before a relocation order is issued? Or are they just issued without hearing the other parties side?
He is claiming that I don't comply with agreements but I have evidence that this is actually the other way around because I keep everything in writing. My main concern is that I have been placed in positions where I have had to stop contact in order to protect the children from him, but the only reason contact completely discontinued each time is because he refuses to negotiate on any agreements that have been solely to assist the children with their safety and emotional well being. I have suggested writing letters and scheduled phone calls even but he has never followed through with these.
I am also struggling to report the father for r**e, I was aggressively forced into sex with him on 5 occasions but I am very concerned about my children's safety because I know that abuse done do to me does not give grounds to protect the children in DV cases. If I do report him I know I will make matters so much worse for my children. If anyone has any advice on this it would very greatly appreciated.
