QLD Does Mother of Child Have Automatic Custody of Children?

[Stuck]

Hi,

Just after some help. Long story short, my partner and myself broke up a little over a year ago only to discover that she was pregnant, so we decided to give it another go. However it just hasn't worked out and we are both at our wits' ends.

My partner suffers from anxiety and depression which leads to a lot of anger issues, jealousy and the inability to cope with stress. She has been to several psychologists but to no avail. She is at the stage where she needs medication to regulate her moods, which she does not want to go on as she insists she still wants to breast feed. My son is 14 months old.

She has no family over here in Australia, all her family is in New Zealand. My family is all here and live in the same neighbourhood. She does not work, I am the sole provider for the household.

She threatens that she will take my son to NZ with her. Can she do that under Family Law? Also, she believes as she is a stay at home mother, she is the main caregiver of the child she will automatically get 100% custody of children. When asked how she will support him, she says she will stay home and live off centrelink.

I work full time, however, my mother does not work and will happily be able to look after my son the hours I am away.

I don't see any future with my partner, but the thought of losing my son terrifies me. From what I have managed to read up, courts go with what is in the best interest of the child. I know I can provide a more stable home for him. I don't want to cut his mother out, but there is no way she will agree to a 50/50 care option, I have already asked her about that and she is 100% against it.

Sorry for the long winded write up, I'm just really after any advice. What are the chances I could end up with or with out my boy?

Thank you for any help. Merry Christmas

 

[Migz]

Ok,

1. She cannot just take the baby to NZ. The baby will need a passport, so don't sign the forms.

2. Go to the passport website and download a "Child Alert" form. Fill it in and post it off.

3. As far as the 100% custody goes for either parent - forget it. It's not going to happen. You are both willing and able to raise this child.

4. So whats next - if you have actually separated and live apart then, what you have to do next is contact Relationships Australia. Tell then you want to start mediation and create a parenting plan for your child. You are after a certificate 60i off them once you have completed this mediation.

5. Next you will be off to court to get the parenting plan you have made into court orders. You can do most of this yourself and save some money. Go to the family law court website and download "initiating application (family law)".

Anyway that will be a while away yet.

Welcome to a lengthy and drawn out process, but in the meantime keep things civil between you and your ex and start writing a diary about everything. Why? Because you will need it in the future.

As for the time being send your ex an email so its in writing asking to see your child on what days and times you would like too. Stick to them and write up in your diary what you both did in that time as well.

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so how long have you lived together?

Look the biggest problems here are the age of the child and her welfare mentality. Courts are less likely to give 50/50 to a young child, but let's leave that for the minute as the kid will get older and then that argument goes away.

But once you have more than 35% care, she loses lots of free welfare money. Hard to get past that one. But don't sign the passport form and do the child alert form in case she signed the paperwork for you. If you know what I mean...

Now the real problem you've got is that you don't want to live with her anymore.

 

[knox]

No, she can't just take the baby away to NZ like that without documentation.

 

[Stuck]

Hi,

Thank you all for the help and opinions.

I understand that there is no reason for either of us to be given 100% custody, but I am a little disheartened that it seems the mother will automatically get the bulk of the custody.

We are still living together. I am reluctant to leave for a number of reasons, one being that I heard that it's kind of considered a black mark against the parent that leaves the home. Is this true?

Also, she does not have an income, so I do feel very much responsible for her. Even after tonight where she had a fit of rage cause she was hot and so threw the fan around the bedroom smashing it and then threatening to punch me in the head.

 

[sammy01]

So if she is from NZ, is she entitled to the Aussie welfare system? I thought they tightened up the rules around Kiwi's on Aussie welfare.

Staying in a house for the sake of the kids, isn't a black mark. But if you leave, who will pay the rent/mortgage? Mum will not automatically get majority of the time, that just tends to be the trend - mum stays home dad works.

Based on what you're saying - you're a candidate for an AVO. How often is she that agro?

BTW by 14 months breast feeding ain't necessary - they recommend breast feeding for 12 months. Do you have any concerns about her ability to manage the child?